


I Found Love (Where It Wasn't Supposed To Be)

by seetheskyaboveus



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: AU, Action, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Humor, Character's Growth, Dark, Death, Drama, Emotional, F/M, Felicity is her sassy self, Finding a way home, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Graphic Violence, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Lian Yu, Loss, Love Conquers All, Oliver is... well Oliver, Partnership, Romance, Slow Burn, Strong Female Characters, Suicide Attempt, Survival, Torture, Trigger Warnings, all flashbacks, entering season 1 - Starling City, island au, more characters later - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 15:05:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 84,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3574148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seetheskyaboveus/pseuds/seetheskyaboveus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Island AU]</p><p>Five months after Felicity started working for Fyers she helps a stranger - a prisoner tortured by Billy Wintergreen. Little did she know how much her life would change because of that. When their paths continue to cross, a partnership forms and the journey to find a way back home turns into something more than any of them expected. Can they survive everything that will stand on their way to happiness?<br/>They say, it's always darkest before the dawn.</p><p>[On Hiatus.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or the characters. Everything belongs to its rightful owners. However, the idea for this story is mine.  
> Soundtrack: http://8tracks.com/seetheskyaboveus/i-found-love-where-it-wasn-t-supposed-to-be-soundtrack-1  
>   
> Warnings: Graphic Descriptions Of Violence, Torture, Suicide Attempt, Dealing With PTSD & Its Mentions, Possible Mature/Explicit Content In Later Chapters  
>   
> A/N: Hi, guys! I’m back! Are you happy? Did you miss me? Because I missed You! :)  
> So, a couple of things you need to know about this story.
> 
> This is an Island AU and the characters can be different from the ones you know from the show. I’m talking about Felicity mostly. She’s been through a lot of unpleasant events and they shaped her character in a different way, so I won’t give you the babbly bright blonde woman we know (that can slightly change at the end of this story). The rest of the characters are the way they were on the Island, but some things can change. When you add Felicity to the equation she changes the characters a little - especially Oliver. The timeline is following the show, BUT Felicity is only two years younger than Oliver (It wouldn’t make sense if she was 16/17 in here, I think you can guess why).  
>   
> Don’t forget, this story is AU. This story is going to get really dark, a lot of bad stuff will happen and there will be a lot of trigger warnings, like: torture, violence, death, suicide mentions, so I'm telling you right now, if you have any problems with that, with drama, better do not read this story. I put the warnings for a reason and I'm gonna put them before every chapter and I'll remind you of that, so that you won't be shocked when something really bad happens. On the brighter side: this story will have a happy ending, a good one, but before that happens Oliver an Felicity have to get through a lot. Drama AND Romance is the main focus, but besides all the bad stuff I mentioned, there will be a lot of lighter moments, building friendship and partnerships, romance. And when we get to the season one - present times - everything will be easier and a lot lighter, the tone will change.
> 
> Don't say I didn't warn you!
> 
> If you really want to get in the mood for this, you should totally listen to the soundtrack I created for this story. Almost every song inspired one of the chapters and every song fits to the story perfectly with lyrics or the tone of it. I sincerely recommend it! :)
> 
> That’s it for now. I still have some things to say, but I’ll leave them for the ending notes. I wanted to say thank you to my wonderful beta SweetMe86, who, despite being a really busy person, found some time to edit this story. Thank you! *HUGS*
> 
> What’s left to say? I just hope you’ll enjoy this story like I enjoy writing it!

**Inspired by: Amber Run - I Found**

* * *

_**Chapter One** _

* * *

Felicity Smoak met Oliver Queen five months after she was taken to the Island.

Things only escalated after that.

* * *

That day she woke up early, just before dawn. After she dressed herself, she left her tent heading to her work station where she had to wait for the truck that would deliver supplies she needed to do her job. The sun came out for the first time in days, but the chill didn't vanish from the air, seeping into her bones through the worn black jacket she had for protection against the elements.

The camp was already busy. Mercenaries - or soldiers as they liked to call themselves - were running around, doing whatever Edward Fyers ordered them to do. The weapon supplies came first that day so most of them were unloading the crates from the trucks, doing everything perfectly so Fyers wouldn't find anything out of order. Everyone tried to please him in fear of his moodiness.

Edward Fyers was a rigorous leader, one that didn't hesitate to punish anyone who disobeyed. One that killed so many people that every few weeks new mercenaries were sent to fill the missing positions. It was understandable why everyone feared him.

Felicity didn't.

Not anymore.

At this point in her life she didn't care what would happen to her. She already knew her life would end the moment Fyers didn't need her anymore so why should she be afraid of the inevitable? Everyone on this forsaken Island would be dead at the end of this operation, and in contrary to the rest of Lian Yu's residents she didn't hold onto false hope. She understood that all of them were just pawns in Fyers' game and she took life the way it was.

Cruel.

The truck with her equipment finally came two hours later and she was checking if the delivery was correct; if they didn't forget about anything. She didn't need Fyers breathing down her neck because of another delay in his operation. He wasn't in a good mood lately and that only made the whole camp even more anxious than usual.

When everything looked like it was the way she wanted, she let the soldiers unload the crates for her. They were too heavy for her to carry and while they were being taken care of, she went back to her station to prepare it for work. The soldiers were leaving the crates under the makeshift tent she'd set up four months ago so the rain wouldn't damage her cables and electronics. It wasn't anything that could be described as a perfectly safe equipment storage, but it was the best she could get in those kinds of conditions so she couldn't complain.

Felicity stood by her station, drinking some water when she took a short break from gathering her tools on the table, the sounds of feet stomping on the ground and mercenaries talking in Mandarin making her fall deep in thought.

It was just another day on the Island - monotonous and predictable. She was alone, without anyone to talk to about her day, without anyone she could be friends with, because how could she like people who had made her the way she was now? Who had taken her away from people she loved and forced her to work for them?

She was so... tired of everything. She'd lost purpose in life months ago and sometimes she just wished they killed her after she'd woken up on Lian Yu. Death would be better than turning into the shell of a person she once was.

Felicity sighed, locking those thoughts deep inside her head.

Lian Yu was her life now. The cold, the pain. The suffering and loneliness. Those were the only things that still gave a damn about her. Remembering wouldn't do her any good.

The sound of something crashing on the ground made her come back to the present and her head snapped to the side. One of the mercenaries had lost hold of the crate and it smashed, the wood snapping when it hit the ground, the circuit boards and chips spilling on the still very wet and muddy ground.

"What the hell are you doing?!" she yelled at the soldier, her legs eating up the distance between them in three long strides. He stepped back, seeing her face twisted with anger and he started stuttering something in Mandarin. The way his eyes widened in horror, not hidden under the balaclava, showed her that he had no idea what he had done. She groaned, dropping to her knees in front of the broken crate, not caring that her pants would get messy. "Of course Fyers would give me a rookie to help."

The soldier babbled some more, but she just waved her hand at him dismissively, she didn't understand him anyway. She picked up a couple of chips to examine them and she frowned when she saw how wet and covered in mud they were. Some of them were even cracked, probably after the heavy wood had landed on them. It would be a miracle if they were still working after that kind of treatment. She would have to spend several hours, if not a few days on cleaning them up and trying to make them work again.

Felicity closed her eyes, sighing in resignation. Sometimes she just felt like everyone tried to make her job harder. Fyers would be pissed - _again -_ and she would have to get through another long and angry argument with him. His operation would be delayed once again and this time it wasn't even her fault.

She picked up the other chips and circuit boards before they could get damaged even more. Her hands were full, but she still didn't manage to pick up everything from the mud. The content of the crate was lying around the broken wood and no one was helping her to clean up this mess - the mercenary who had screwed up long gone from her little station.

Great. As usual, she would have to do the job herself.

She stood up from the ground and turned, but shouts from the other side of the camp made her stop on her way to the table.

Felicity turned around to see what was happening. Two soldiers barged in to the camp like they owned it, taking the path on the side that led to Edward Fyers' tent where he dealt with everything work related. A strange man was with them, but it didn't look like he was here willingly. They were holding him down between them and that was all she managed to see before they disappeared from her sight.

Felicity frowned, intrigued. It wasn't a common thing to see someone captured by the mercenaries on Lian Yu. As far as Felicity knew, besides Fyers' team of mercenaries and the Green Archer, who probably was just an urban legend, there weren't any civilians on the Island. Hardly anyone knew about Lian Yu and the name "Purgatory" from Mandarin didn't encourage anyone who knew about the Island's location to visit. Something odd had had to happen if they captured someone.

Felicity grabbed a rag from the table and while wiping her hands, she stepped from her work station to see the mercenaries better.

And then she saw _him_.

A man who didn't look much older than her, with his hands cuffed in front of him, in ripped and dirty clothes that he probably had been wearing longer than few days. He could be anyone and she shouldn't care, but something about him made her pause in her track.

She only had a few seconds before they pushed him inside Fyers' tent, but it was enough to see his face. He was handsome, if you could look past the hair falling into his eyes and dirt smeared on the side of his face, but it wasn't his good looks that struck her. It was the way he was trying to look brave despite the circumstances that made her breath catch. The familiar situation that washed over her, reminding her that she didn't really get rid of the painful memories that were still haunting her in her nightmares.

Suddenly she felt like she was living through her first day on the Island again. The look on his face mirrored the one she'd masked her fear with that day when she'd realized she would never be safe again. The same wild expression that said more than it should when he looked around the camp. The same hopeful eyes which thought that maybe, just maybe someone would help him.

But she knew better.

He was in Purgatory and there was no one here to save him.

She saw all of this on his face and it was enough to strike a chord with the painful past locked under the mask she'd put on five months ago. She'd thought that she came to terms with everything that happened, but seeing someone else who would be put through the same treatment she had been opened those wounds again.

He disappeared inside the tent then and she felt like she could breathe again. But she couldn't lock away the memories, not now, when they'd broken free from their cage. A cold shiver ran down her spine when she saw them flashing before her eyes.

She was in the same tent, tied to a chair, terrified and cold. Fyers was shouting at her, the man in a black and yellow mask hitting her across the face. The cold blade of his sword touching her skin, threatening to cut. The suffocating feeling of being trapped and the unbearable pain of everything they were doing to her. Her bloodcurdling screams echoing around the camp.

Felicity hurried back to her work station, her hands trembling and heart beating fast. She threw the rag on the table and paced around the small space between the crates and her tools, trying to calm down. She felt uneasy, like her own mind was betraying her. Feelings and memories she buried deep inside her long ago coming out to attack her in the moment she was least prepared. She hadn't felt like that for months, hadn't had a panic attack in weeks, but this overwhelming feeling of injustice and hurt took over her mind regardless of how irrational all of this felt to her.

This was happening again. Someone was going to suffer and he couldn't do anything to save himself. Felicity knew all too well how this was going to go. The interrogation and torture, stripping away little pieces of his soul. If they didn't kill him in the process they would break him and turn him into one of Fyers' puppets. He would never be the same again. Felicity knew that from experience.

She closed her eyes and ran a hand over her face, breathing out long to get back her composure. When she felt like she wouldn't explode from those irrational feelings, her eyes opened and she leaned against the table, giving herself a much needed moment.

A dark chuckle fell from her lips and she shook her head on a small distressed whimper that escaped her without her permission.

She was acting ridiculous. She didn't even know why she reacted like this. She'd seen this man and what; suddenly her empathy came back from the dead? No one gave a damn about her when she was being interrogated and tortured. So why did she feel like she had to be different from them now? The Island didn't know kindness or compassion, if you wanted to survive on it you had to follow its rules. She had learned that a long time ago and after living through Fyers' treatment she didn't see another choice but to obey.

Shoving the odd feelings aside, Felicity decided that all she could feel towards this man was pity. Pity was a safe enough feeling to not question herself and the sudden change that bothered her.

No more than five minutes ago everything was the way it always had been. She'd lived her life day by day, doing everything Fyers told her and she'd gotten used to this life. She'd seen the way everyone was acting and she'd fallen into step, forgetting how it was to care about another human being. She had learned how to be selfish and how to not be crushed by the giants. And now, after just looking at this stranger, something awoke inside her, making her feel that the woman she had been for the last five months was someone to be ashamed of.

Felicity shut her eyes tightly, not understanding anything she was feeling at this moment and where those feelings were coming from. She was concerned about those doubts that suddenly arose inside her; it was something that could end her, this time for good. She shouldn't care about some stranger just like she didn't care about anyone else in this camp. She shook her head again, forcing herself to get rid of these feelings and this time it worked. She laughed bitterly when she felt the familiar emptiness again, not caring that some mercenaries passing by her station looked at her like she was insane.

Maybe she was; she _did_ feel like a crazy person. Maybe after all those months the Island finally got to her. How else could she explain that one look at some stranger almost crushed the walls she'd worked so hard to put around her heart?

Yes, she was definitely crazy.

Felicity pushed herself away from the table and crouched near the broken crate, picking up the rest of the electronics. She had work to do; she didn't have time for distractions.

* * *

She was over it by the time she heard the first tortured scream. She was cleaning the chips when it fell over the camp, filling the air with pain and cold dread.

No one reacted to it. No one stopped even for a second to look with pity towards Fyers' tent. Everyone acted like nothing was out of order and for them it wasn't. Torture was a common thing in the camp, practiced when someone disobeyed. But it didn't mean that Felicity was used to it, that she was okay with it.

Then she heard another scream. The next one broke at the end like he couldn't take any more pain and that made her blood run cold. With every agonizing scream she felt like her own scars were reopening to make her feel the same pain the man in the tent was going through. Her hands gripped the table, clutching it hard.

This was getting ridiculous. Why was she feeling like this?

Another scream and she was moving before she even realized what she was doing.

She was halfway to the tent when someone's hand clamped around her forearm, forcing her to a stop. Her head snapped to the side, ready to lash out at whoever had grabbed her, but before she could say a word, she was hauled from the path to the side. She came face to face with no other than Alan Durand from the communication station, who purely hated her just because she was simply better than him at doing their job.

"You can't go there right now!" he hissed at her, his fingers digging painfully into her arm.

She snatched her arm from his grip, leveling him with a hard look, but his brown eyes only narrowed at her.

They had been playing this game of tug of war since she'd started working for Fyers, and every time they started it someone had to literally force them apart. He could easily knock her down if he wanted, she wasn't a fighter and all she knew about throwing a punch was what she'd seen while the mercenaries were training. But he never done that to her surprise and she always used that to her advantage. She might be inexperienced, but she knew how to use her words to hit where it hurt the most. That was probably the only situation when she was grateful for the lack of her brain-to-mouth filter. She thought something - she said it. In her case, words were the best of weapons.

"I need the old chips I left there yesterday. Some rookie broke the new crate and everything is screwed up for now." She took a step closer, showing him that she wasn't intimidated by him. "You don't want Fyers to be pissed about a delay. _Again._ " She saw as his jaw clenched and she knew that she had him.

The last time the operation had beenrunning behind schedule, Alan took the blow of Fyers wrath. As the head of communications he'd failed to ensure that his team did their job. Felicity had had to fix everything, proving again that she was the best of them all and despite that Durand's new injuries hurt, his ego had hurt much more.

Alan regarded her with a look, like he was trying to read her, but if she'd learned something on the Island it was how to lie. She'd had enough time to practice her poker face to perfection.

When the man from the tent screamed again, she used that to get away from Durand and in a matter of seconds she was lifting the flap of the tent that served as a door. When she stepped inside, everyone's eyes turned to her. The sudden silence washing over her and settling heavily around her.

Fyers and the man with the black and yellow mask were the only people in the tent besides the stranger, but it was enough to make her brain finally catch up with what she was doing. She straightened her back, readying herself for what was about to come because she didn't really think this through. What was she about to do now? Why did she have to act so hastily?

Fyers watched her with a blank face, but she could see a glint of interest in his eyes. That was good, that meant he wouldn't kill her for interrupting his torture session. His curly sand hair was a little damp with sweat even if she knew that he hadn't lifted a finger during the torture. That task belonged to his most devoted mercenary - Billy Wintergreen.

Billy Wintergreen, the man behind the mask.

The man behind her scars.

She flinched every time she saw him and she could bet he was thrilled with the reaction he caused. Everyone wondered who hid underneath that creepy mask because no one had ever seen his face. He was the most ruthless and to be feared of mercenary on the entire Island, and once, before Fyers bought his loyalty, he'd been a member of the Australian Secret Intelligence Service. She heard that he'd had a partner, but he didn't join Fyers. He'd managed to escape from the camp and no one saw him since.

Billy Wintergreen was a man Felicity despised and hated because of what he had done to her and to other people like the stranger she came here to help.

If she only knew how to help him, that is.

This time she really was starting to question her sanity.

Her eyes didn't dare to move from Fyers' face, even when she felt the need to look at the man tied to a support beam. After a few silent seconds Fyers finally moved from his place by the beam and approached her. Felicity lifted her chin high, keeping her anxiety under control, but it only made Fyers smirk at her. He knew her too well. He knew how uncomfortable she really was.

"Ms. Smoak, we are a little busy here. What do you want?" he asked, his thick English accent making the words sound more threatening than they should be, but maybe it was just her fear making her think like that.

She swallowed hard before she gathered enough courage to answer him. She just needed to stay calm and tell him exactly what she said to Durand. "Something happened and it can delay the operation," she said, trying to sound more confident than she looked at this moment. Fyers lifted an eyebrow at her and she knew if she didn't explain it faster he would only get irritated with her and that couldn't end well. "One of the rookies broke the crate with the chips I needed. They were damaged, I don't know how much yet, but it will take me some time to make them work again. I need the old ones I left here so I can try to work within the schedule."

She hoped she sounded genuine because she knew that the damage of the electronics wasn't that big. She just needed to say something to baffle Fyers so he wouldn't question her presence here. She stopped herself from breathing out with relief when she saw his face twist with anger and she knew it wasn't directed at her.

"Give Mr. Queen five minutes to reconsider what we've said," he ordered Wintergreen and pulled out a knife from a holster strapped to his belt. "In the meantime we'll take care of our small problem." He looked back at her, his gaze already darkening, full of intent, and for a second she regretted that she came here in the first place. Now she could only hope that he wouldn't kill the man that broke the crate, that he would only teach him a lesson. "Take whatever you need and fix this," Fyers snarled at her and then he left.

Billy Wintergreen moved away from the stranger to follow his boss. When he was passing by her, Felicity tensed involuntarily and he stopped for a second like he wanted to taunt her even more. The blade of his ever-present sword touched her hip lightly in place where he'd left a long ugly-looking scar and it felt like the sick bastard was remembering the time when he'd tortured her. Felicity's eyes stayed focused on the table before her and she didn't twitch, not giving him the satisfaction of making her feel the distress she'd felt that night. He could terrify her, but it didn't mean that she would curl up in the corner like a scared little puppy.

After a moment he backed away from her and then he left.

Felicity breathed out heavily, realizing that she'd actually managed to deceive Fyers and Wintergreen and that wasn't an easy thing to do. She should be proud of herself; she was getting better and better at fooling people. Then she remembered why she was here in the first place and the eyes she kept focused on the table finally moved to land on the stranger who had turned her day upside down.

He was already looking at her, his intense icy-blue eyes using the strength that was left in him to focus on her, observing her cautiously like he thought that she was here only to cause him more pain. His eyes moved down her body and she knew he was taking her in, maybe trying to assess how much of a threat she was. And she knew that with her brown hair falling messily around her shoulders, glasses and green cargo pants she was wearing she didn't look like a threat at all.

When his eyes moved back up she didn't let him catch her gaze yet, instead she assessed him like he did with her. His hands were tied above his head to the support beam and they were straining under the rope as his legs were giving out under him even more now, as the remaining of his strength was leaving his body. The worn-out blue shirt was partially open, leaving his chest bare to her eyes and she inhaled sharply when she saw the damage Wintergreen had done to his body. He looked worse than she had after two days of torture; she couldn't see a place on his chest that wasn't cut or bloodied. She didn't have to imagine how much it had to hurt, but she was also impressed that he hadn't passed out from the pain yet.

He was strong. That would certainly help him survive on the Island.

She looked at his face then and she was right before, when she thought that he was handsome. He had one of those faces you could stare at the whole day - with sharp features and stubble that looked more like a beard now - and no injury could really change that. He looked a little boyish, too, and it only confirmed her theory that he couldn't be much older than her. She thought he was tall, but she couldn't really tell when he wasn't standing straight. His dirty blond hair was messy and falling into his eyes even more than before and she felt this strange urge to brush the strands away from his face.

Felicity shook her head when she realized what she was thinking. Only then her eyes finally locked on his and for a moment he was just staring at her like he was trying to decide if she would make a move or if he should say something. Felicity sighed because this whole situation was stupid; she had no idea what she was doing.

She moved then and she saw how he tensed, readying himself for a blow or something, but she just circled him to get to the table where Fyers had his things sprawled like he couldn't simply put them on the side. Her chips were lying by the old radio that she had to fix a lot and she picked them up, putting them in the pocket of her jacket. Her excuse to come here was solid now.

When she grabbed the empty glass that stood on the table near the half empty can of soda, she didn't really know what to do next. She turned slightly to look at the stranger. His head was tilted to the side like he was trying to see what she was doing behind his back, but he couldn't get a look at her from that position. She went with her gut because that was the only thing she was sure of lately and she poured the soda to the glass. She could bet he was thirsty after that kind of treatment and it just... felt right.

In the next second she was back in front of him and she moved the glass to his lips. He turned his head, not letting her touch him. Felicity watched him for a moment and she didn't pity him like she'd thought she would back in her work station. All she felt was sadness when she realized that he didn't trust her. The way he was treated made him wary and she knew it would take a lot to trust someone again. She knew he thought that she was trying to poison him so she did the only thing that occurred to her at the moment.

"It's not poisoned." He flinched slightly when he heard her voice filling the quiet space between them. She waited for him to look at her and when he did, she took a sip from the glass, watching him the entire time. "See?" she asked after a moment when he saw that she didn't drop dead on the ground. "Now drink, I know you're thirsty."

She moved the glass back to his lips and after a second of hesitation that felt like forever, he took a sip, holding her gaze. After that the hesitation disappeared and he drank the soda like he hadn't drunk anything for days. She took the glass away from his lips only when it was empty and he sighed, relief written all over his face.

"I’m sorry, I don't have more." She looked at him apologetically, but he still didn't answer. He just kept watching her like he didn't know what to think of her.

Felicity's eyes darted back to the tent's exit and she knew that she only had a few moments left; she couldn't waste them on waiting for him to say something. Her hand moved to her back, pulling a small pocket knife from her pants pocket that was always there and when he saw it, his eyes widened in fear, thinking that she wanted to use it on him.

"Relax," she calmed him and then she snorted quietly because how could he relax when he was tied to a beam, tortured and now someone was holding a knife in front of his face. Sometimes she really was stupid.

Felicity opened the knife and slipped it inside the pocket on his backside, trying not to think too much about the fact that she was kind of feeling him up and yes, his ass was great, but this was _so_ not the time to think about things like that. She was surprised that she didn't blush when she looked at him again.

"I'm sorry they hurt you like that and I don't know if this will help you, but when they cut your bindings you should use the knife. Who knows, maybe it will save your life." She watched the stunned expression on his face. He looked like he thought he was dreaming this moment, that she wasn't really here and she wasn't helping him. "Just don't lose it; it's my favorite."

She gave him a small reassuring smile and then she moved away from him, hearing Fyers' voice, yelling close to the tent. She palmed her pocked; checking if the chips were still there and then she took a step to the exit. The stranger's raspy voice stopped her before she moved the flap of the tent to step outside.

"Why are you helping me?" His voice was weak, but she could easily hear the curiosity in it. He needed to know why she had showed him kindness, but she couldn't think of any explanation she could offer him.

She didn't have one.

She tipped her head to look at him and being true to herself, she said the first thing that came to her mind, "I guess it's just those blue eyes of yours."

He looked even more astonished at her reply and it pulled a smile out of her, making her brows furrow in surprise at how effortless it happened.

Before he could say something else she moved the flap away and left the tent before she could start questioning herself again.

* * *

Later, in the middle of the night, while she was lying wide awake on her cot in her small tent, she realized that the reason she'd helped this stranger wasn't because she'd felt bad that he had to experience the same things she had. Yes, it was a big part of her reason, but the real important thing was that he'd made her realize that the Island hadn't taken away all of her humanity yet. That deep down she was still the same Felicity she had been five months ago.

All this time what Fyers had done to her was an excuse to give up and become whatever he needed her to be. It was an excuse to bury her head in the sand where she could pretend that everything was forced on her, that she had done everything she could to fight for herself.

And she had done none of that.

Maybe in the beginning she'd been reluctant to let go of her free will, but with time it was easier to give up than fight a war she knew she could never win. She'd just let herself go and embraced the fact that she was weak, letting Fyers and the Island decide for her.

The stranger was her warning sign that maybe she should think twice about what she had been doing to herself this whole time. Because she hadn't always been like that. There were times, times that felt like a lifetime ago, were she'd looked at her life and saw perspectives. She had a plan, a big and beautiful plan that had been coming to life and all of her dreams had been just within her reach.

She'd gotten away from Vegas - her own personal hell that could have trapped her in its depths forever, but it didn't because she'd fought hard for her dreams. She'd gotten to MIT and studied Cyber Security and Computer Sciences, finished the first year with honors and she'd gotten a summer internship in Hong Kong, in one of the most successful companies in the world. It would seem that nothing could stop her from reaching the top.

If she had known that accepting the internship would change her life forever she would have stayed in Boston and she would have worked at the local café not far away from the campus. Cleaning tables for the summer suddenly felt like a better choice than flying to Hong Kong for the internship.

It had started innocent, completely perfect. The apartment MIT had rented for her was small, but cozy; she'd had a reasonable work schedule that let her go out to discover the city and meet new people. She'd used that opportunity, she was nineteen and she didn't want to spend her free time hiding inside her apartment.

One of those nights she'd met a young woman. Shado was Chinese and just a few years older than her - a lawyer with a pre-med degree. She had perspectives too. In a short time they had became great friends, but there was something about her that worried Felicity. This darkness clinging to her and the sadness present in her eyes. Felicity had this bad feeling that didn't want to leave her alone. It hadn't been long after that when she'd learned the cause of her friend's distress.

Her father - a Chinese general - went missing years ago after he'd been framed in massacring innocent people that in fact the Chinese military had murdered. Shado hadn't been able to find him anywhere and she was losing hope after all those years. Felicity being who she was had decided to help, thinking that maybe her hacking skills she had polished at MIT would help to find something that her friend hadn't been able to get access to. Maybe she could find him - do what the police had failed to do so long ago.

Maybe became certainty when Felicity had hacked Chinese military files, learning that Shado's father had been sent to a prison on a deserted island to answer for crimes he had not committed. The island hadn't been named in the files, but Felicity knew that with a little bit of digging she would find the prison's location. There was still hope to find him and Felicity couldn't be more proud of herself when her hacking skills proved that she could use them for good.

When she had gotten a lead on his whereabouts and she had been on her way to tell Shado about it, two men in ski masks had barged into her apartment. She couldn't fight them; she couldn't do anything besides screaming when they had grabbed her and then sedated her. She had been so stupid to think that she could hack military files without tipping anyone off. She'd brought this on herself and now they were going to kill her and no one would know what had happened to her.

When she'd woken up on Lian Yu she was surprised that she was still alive. But then a cold dread filled her body when she'd realized that they hadn't killed her because they had different plans for her. Death would be an escape from what they wanted to do with her.

She had been tortured for two days. Fyers wanted to know everything she had found out about general Yao Fey and who she had told about him, and Billy Wintergreen had known how to make someone talk. When he had been done with her, her body was covered with jagged scars and her mind was damaged just as much. She'd been powerless and when Fyers threatened to kill Shado and her family, she hadn't had a choice but to tell him everything. After that she'd just given up, hoping that Fyers would finally kill her, making the pain and guilt of telling everything stop once and for all.

But Edward Fyers had let her live.

Apparently she was better than any of his mercenaries he'd hired to do the technical job in his operation. And now she was his puppet to fix things, build communication systems and other things Fyers told her to do. She was a puppet and she couldn't do anything to change that. She had tried.

To this day Fyers hadn't told her everything about what he was doing on Lian Yu and how exactly he was involved with Yao Fei, but she had heard enough among his mercenaries to understand that it wasn't anything good. The work he ordered her to do couldn't be anything good either because the last two months she had spent on rebuilding very old circuit boards and rewiring cables she could swear were old enough to come from World War II. She'd suspected they were just pieces that were important to activate something bigger and when a month ago a missile launcher had been delivered to the camp suddenly everything made sense.

Fyers was planning something big, something that was bad if it involved a missile launcher. His frequent talks with some mysterious man through a satellite phone she'd had to fix a couple of times were only confirming her theory. It made her also think that he wasn't working alone, that he had been hired to make this operation happen.

That's why, when she'd realized that she was the key to make the missile work she decided to slow down the operation. If she worked slower the operation would be delayed and maybe somehow she could stop it. She couldn't be responsible for something terrible to happen.

For now it was working, she did things slower without making it look suspicious; sometimes she broke something and made it look like it already had been this way when it was delivered. Sometimes it would give her a few days and sometimes even a week so the final day of the operation was moving further in time. She didn't know how long she could drag this out without being made, but for now she was just happy that she could cross Fyers' plans a little. He wasn't that pleased though, and only thinking about what he would do to her if he ever found out that it was her fault made her scared. She could bet it wouldn't end well for her.

Felicity turned on her side and pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation. Why couldn't she just fall asleep? Why did she have to think about all of this? It was easier when her emotions were shoved to the side, when she didn't have to worry about her morality. Maybe trying to make things better wasn't a good idea. Maybe helping the stranger was not one either.

The answers she desperately needed to find a solid ground again weren't there and more question were only piling up inside her head.

She didin't know what to do.

And she wondered where the stranger was now.

Not so long after she'd left him in the tent, the Green Archer came to his rescue, killing few mercenaries and escaping from the camp before anyone could really react.

Felicity was stunned. She really had believed that he was just an urban legend told around the camp. Everyone talked about him like he was the Island's ghost – with fear, but also with curiosity and admiration. If she hadn't seen him today she would still think he was made up by the soldiers.

And with the Green Archer's help, the stranger seemed even more interesting. How did he know him? Were they friends? Who was he, the mysterious Mr. Queen, as Fyers called him?

The way Edward reacted when they escaped told her that both of them had to be important - Fyers wouldn't sent a search party after just anyone. There was more to it than she knew and it only made her want to learn everything more.

She hoped that the stranger was safe somewhere out there in the woods. She hoped that he would never have to be treated like that again and she hoped that somehow she could meet him again. She tried to convince herself that she only wanted her knife back - it was her favorite after all - but there was a small part of her, a part she tried to shove to the back of her mind, that wanted to get answers to every question that popped inside her head since she had met the stranger.

Because Felicity hated mysteries and they needed to be solved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So… that was the first chapter. How was it? Do you like this story so far? Please, leave a comment and kudos; they feed my muse and let me know that you're actually liking this story. It definitely makes the writing process faster. :)  
> I have to tell, this story was supposed to be a one-shot and now, when I have it all mapped inside my head and I’m writing chapter 7 right now I can’t help but laugh at myself. I have no idea why I was thinking that I could fit all of this into a one-shot work. Silly me.
> 
> I’ll be posting new chapters every Saturday, BUT there might be weeks that I won’t make it. I’m seriously ill and I just started my first treatment last week. I spent a lot of time in hospital and the treatment makes me really tired and I can’t focus on writing and give too much of my time the way I could before. That means I can be late with writing some chapters and that’s why sometimes I won’t post it like I wanted to. But I’ll let you know if something like that happens. I hope you can understand that. :)
> 
> That’s it for now. Thank you for reading! If you came here because you liked my previous story: thank you for sticking with me! If you’re new: thank you for giving me a chance and your precious time! Let me know what you think about this story! I love you guys!
> 
> P.S. I have tumblr now, so you can find me if you want to: http://seetheskyaboveus.tumblr.com/  
> Or find me on twitter: @angelica_fit


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or the characters, everything belongs to its rightful owners. However, the idea for this story is mine.  
> Soundtrack: http://8tracks.com/seetheskyaboveus/i-found-love-where-it-wasn-t-supposed-to-be-soundtrack-1  
>   
> Warnings: Graphic Descriptions Of Violence, Torture, Suicide Attempt, Dealing With PTSD & Its Mentions, Possible Mature/Explicit Content In Later Chapters  
>   
> A/N: Hi! Chapter 2 is here!  
> Thank you everyone who left a comment under this story and told me what he/she thought. I really appreciate it and it made me happy! It helps with my muse too. :) And thank you for your get well wishes! It totally made my mood for the whole week! :)  
> Enjoy this chapter!

* * *

**_Chapter Two_ **

* * *

The next few days were hectic, to say the least.

Felicity thought that work would let her forget about the stranger at least for a few moments, but the camp was buzzing with his spectacular escape and Fyers was literally obsessing about him, which meant that every meaningful member of his team was working on finding his fugitive and the Green Archer.

That meant Felicity was in the middle of it all.

When after the first two days the main search party came back with nothing, Fyers lashed out at his entire team. He came straight to her then, ordering her to do something even _she_ wasn't able to do from this Island.

She wanted to laugh at his face when he told her to track them somehow, but she thought twice about that, seeing that he wasn't in the best of moods. But seriously, how could she track someone on a deserted island, in the area full of woods, caves and water? If he wanted her to work better he should have thought about providing her with equipment built after the 80's; at least that way she could hack into the satellite and see the images of Lian Yu's area.

Not that she would ever tell him that though. It wasn't like she wanted him to find the stranger after all.

Fyers dumped the worst job on her, but working under pressure was another thing she had learned on the Island. She gave him a few optional places to start with, but mostly it was something she just made up, hoping that it wasn't too close to the place the stranger could be hiding at.

When Fyers joined one of his teams, deciding that they couldn't do anything right without him, Felicity felt relieved. She would have a few slightly peaceful days without him in the camp. The only thing that annoyed her was Durand who constantly followed her around and watched her work.

At first she thought that somehow he found out she was sabotaging the operation, but she was sure that it wasn't the case. She was discreet and careful; he was just trying to learn some of her tricks so Fyers wouldn't scold him all the time. It was getting really annoying. Not the Fyers scolding Alan part - that was pretty awesome actually - the following her around like a lost puppy part. Seriously.

Fyers had been away for three days when Billy Wintergreen came back to the camp. He hadn't said a thing, but somehow everyone knew what to do. The mercenaries were moving to another camp for the rest of the operation and that meant Felicity had to pack. She hated packing. Not that she had a lot of personal things on the Island, but still.

The equipment was the worst; she had to supervise everyone to not mess with her electronics while they packed them on the trucks, it seemed they didn't care that damaging her equipment meant a really angry Edward who hated when the schedule was being pushed back. He really cared about sticking to the plan and it only made her think that whoever he worked for pressed on him more and more to finish the job without problems. If only she knew _why_.

Wintergreen disappeared again, and then came back a few hours later. He wasn't alone this time. When Felicity saw the Green Archer being led to the half empty camp, she could swear her heart stopped for a second. If they managed to capture the Green Archer, her stranger couldn't be safe.

She didn't understand why it made her feel like someone had slapped her across her face. She didn't even have time to think about this strange feeling because she was ordered to get on the truck and they were moving, leaving the West Camp behind.

The road to the East Camp was long and they had to stop in the middle of the woods to take more supplies and another team of mercenaries that was stationing out there. They stayed there for the rest of the day, soldiers took that time to eat something and catch a short nap to regenerate their strength, but Felicity was too pumped up to follow their lead. A hundred scenarios of what could be happening to her stranger now, passed through her mind and none of them were good. She was a realist ever since she woke up on the Island and this time it wasn't different either. She knew her stranger was strong, but she didn't dare to hope.

And when did he become _her_ stranger anyway?

She really couldn't understand her thoughts anymore.

It was almost nightfall when they were about to move again. Soldiers cleaned up their old station and packed everything on the trucks. With rifles tucked under their arms they moved to get on the trucks, but before she could get there herself a jeep with Fyers sitting inside drove to the station and it stopped right in front of her.

"Ms. Smoak." Fyers focused his eyes on her like he thought his gaze was enough to make her come to him. "Please, come with me."

She opened the truck door, but she didn't step inside yet. "Is this really necessary?" Felicity sighed, holding onto the door and she didn't look at him. "We'll be at the East Camp in less than an hour."

"I insist. There's a matter we need to discuss."

Something in his voice told her it couldn't be anything good. She just had this strange feeling in her gut that made her finally look at him. Fyers was watching her, but his face didn't betray anything he could be thinking right now. Just this almost too calm expression written all over his features and when she saw bruises on his face it only made her feel more anxious.

This couldn't be good at all. She just hoped he didn't know about the sabotage.

She approached the jeep and when she hesitated to get inside, Fyers lifted an eyebrow at her expectantly. She had to swallow her worries and take the place beside him, thinking that she didn't have a choice anyway.

When she was seated, the jeep moved, driving away from the station. She was focusing on Fyers so much that she hadn't noticed the jeep was full - with her and Fyers in the back and two mercenaries taking the front seats. She felt slightly overwhelmed, like they were surrounding her from every side and she couldn't shake the feeling that maybe Fyers did that on purpose.

"Tell me about the progress, Ms. Smoak," Fyers demanded so suddenly that she flinched, moving her gaze from the mercenaries to him. He was watching the trees like he was expecting someone to jump on them, but she could tell he was focused on her too.

"I already told you," she reminded him and for a second she wished she didn't say it with so much exasperation in her voice. "The damage was minor, but it cracked the Co-Processor and I have to find compatible replacement so the ignition chip can work like the original one. That will make the circuit board work without any reservations. It will take me three, maybe five days top and then Durand can start working on welding the whole processor box. In three weeks you can start your trial tests." She recited everything without really thinking about it because she told him this so many times that she was starting to dream about fixing chips and processors.

"It looks to me that you are running behind schedule."

Felicity didn't say anything. She knew she was late for about a week; she did that on purpose after all. But now when Fyers was acting so strange it made her think that it might not have been one of her best ideas.

"Perhaps you should work harder to make it on time. We wouldn't want anything unusual to happen," he said matter-of-factly, still observing the trees.

Felicity's heart stopped at his words and the nonchalant tone of his voice. Her gut twisted even more and she didn't know if she was afraid more about herself or the people she was trying to protect. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, looking straight at him, not caring that her voice trembled a bit.

Fyers finally turned to her and when his hard gaze landed on her, she stopped breathing, knowing that nothing was good anymore. "That means you should stop being so sure of the importance of your expertise and thinking that your family is untouchable. Especially now, when I have every piece of chess standing perfectly on the board. Our arrangement expires now and I'm giving you a choice. Make this chip the way it should be by the end of the week and I'll think about leaving your loved ones untouched. Is that clear enough for you, Ms. Smoak?"

Felicity watched him with her mouth slightly agape as shock gripped her body in a tight fist and she was sure that the trepidation was palpable in her wide eyes.

She had no idea what had happened and she knew it had to be more than just being late with her job, which, to his careful use of words, she knew he hadn't figured her out. Everything had been good between them, the forced parthership was working alright. He'd agreed to leave Shado and her family alone until she did what he said and for five months the arrangement had been working just fine. And now he just changed his mind, pulling the rug from uder her feet? _Why?_

He had to have something against her, something more than threats against her loved ones. Something that put her in a position where she couldn't tip the scale anymore. Where she had to thread carefully because Fyers was now two steps ahead of her and she didn't even see it coming.

She was foolish to think the arrangement was her safety net. Fyers successfully manipulated her to believe that she had some control over this.

Now grabbing at straws was all that was left for her.

"You can't do this! I'm the only one who can make this launcher work. Without me your operation will be over before it even starts!" Her voice raised a little, showing how much he affected her, but her reasoning only made him smirk at her like he thought she'd said something funny. He knew he had her exactly where he wanted her. Trapped in a corner without a way to escape.

"Ms. Smoak, I told you to not be so sure of yourself," he told her, his eyes getting darker, and maybe challenging him wasn't a good idea after all. "You might be the best of my engineers, but everyone is easy to replace. Mr. Durand is not as stupid as he looks and I'm sure that with a little incentive he will be able to do your job." He leaned closer to her then and Felicity involuntarily backed away, her back hitting the cold metal of the jeep. "Please don't test me, Ms. Smoak." He lowered his voice and she could easily hear the threat in it. "You, better than anyone, know what I'm capable of."

Felicity watched him and she couldn't find anything in his cold eyes to tell her he was bluffing. For the first time since the moment she realized she would never leave the Island, she was afraid of him again. But her fear ran deeper than caring about her own safety. She was terrified what all of this meant for Shado and for her family. They were supposed to be safe. Felicity was supposed to be the only one that would lose her life in Fyers' game and now everything had changed.

This had to have something to do with the missile launcher and Fyers' mysterious benefactor. He was talking about finally having all of the pieces on the board and that could only mean that Fyers gained something that he hadn't had before. And it made him self-confident that the operation would succeed even without her help.

Suddenly, everything she had done to stop him didn't matter anymore. What was the point of working against him and getting her hopes up? She'd failed before she even started.

"Don't look so sour, Ms. Smoak," Fyers said, noticing the way her face fell. She could tell he was pleased with the way this conversation went. "After all, it's nothing you haven't done for me before." He moved away from her then and leaned against his seat more comfortably, a cunning smirk playing on his lips.

Felicity didn't move. She was frozen in her seat, her eyes glued to his face as she was trying to process everything. But it didn't work; too many thoughts were running through her head and the intensity of them was making her feel dizzy. One sentence repeated on a loop like at some point she would get an answer to it.

_What changed? What changed? What changed?_

At some point she had to had said it out loud because Fyers tipped his head to look at her with a secretive expression on his face. "You'll find out soon enough."

And just like she had thought before - it couldn't be anything good.

* * *

The rest of the drive was spent in silence. The only sound heard was of the jeep moving through the forest, occasionally filling the space with twigs snapping under the wheels as they were driving on the uneven ground.

Felicity was watching the woods with an absent look haunting her face. Sometimes when she looked ahead she had a feeling that the mercenary sitting in front of her was watching her. She'd caught his eyes once, but he looked away so quickly she thought that she had imagined everything because of the darkness. Why would he be looking at her anyway? If he wanted to mock her he would do that like the rest of his colleagues - out loud and without looking away.

They arrived to the camp not long after that and it was already pitch black. The East Camp was lit by torches and fire burning in barrels and pits spread around the borders, mercenaries taking the first watch with rifles in hand.

It could be night, but Felicity knew that no one would go to sleep until late. It was something she didn't like about this camp. Fyers kept his prisoners here - the mercenaries that broke rules, went rogue or failed on their mission. It was also the place where Fyers organized trainings and fights. There was one he particularly liked; he called it gladiatorial distractions to strengthen the unit cohesion but in reality it was just a brutal way to kill some prisoners and show his recruits that there wouldn't be any mercy for them on the Island. Felicity didn't like to watch it, there was always too much blood and violence, but Fyers enjoyed it when she had to stand by his side and watch as someone's life was taken.

The jeep parked outside of a big tent Fyers used as his second base to work on the operation. They came out of the jeep and Fyers ordered the mercenaries that were with them to stay and wait for him to come back. Then he took her by her arm and led her to the tent's entrance.

"Come on," Fyers told her, not missing a beat. "Your explanation is waiting inside."

Felicity hesitated before she stepped inside. She had no idea what to expect from this; she had no idea what was waiting for her in the tent. And she wouldn't know if she didn't go in there.

She swallowed hard, thinking that whatever it was she could take it and then she took a step inside.

The inside of the tent was lit by the camping lamps and it looked like other tents she'd seen Fyers working in before. At first it was the only thing she noticed, but then a rustle of fabric made her look to the side.

There was a man standing with his back to her and it looked like he was finishing dressing up. He had long black hair and it was the only thing she saw until he turned around and Felicity froze in shock when she took a look on his face.

She would recognize that face anywhere; her whole life had changed because of it.

General Yao Fei was standing in front of her, one hand finishing buttoning up the thick black military shirt. His black hair was falling messily around his face and the short kept beard he'd had on Shado's old picture was now long with silver streaks. His dark eyes focused on Fyers like he was waiting for his instructions. His free hand was holding something and when she realized that the forest green material in his hand was in fact the hood - _the Green Archer's_ _hood_ , she had to do a double take.

Yao Fei was the Green Archer.

He'd been under her nose this whole time and she had no idea. And now he stood here, wearing mercenary's clothes in Fyers' camp.

And then it hit her.

Yao Fei was the last piece of chess Fyers had told her about.

He was the leverage. He was the reason Fyers had broken the arrangement with her.

Yao Fei was helping Fyers.

All of this was because of him.

And just like that her life turned upside down again.

"You..." she breathed out in shock and Yao Fei looked at her for the first time.

The look in his eyes told her he had no idea who she was, and even if she knew he couldn't know her it made her angry anyway. She'd sacrificed everything for him – her life, her career, her _future_! And now he was helping the man that was threatening his _own_ daughter?

Was he even the man Shado had told her about? The kind, caring and loving father? A man of honor and good morals? Because what Felicity was seeing now was another easily bought man who didn't care about anyone but himself. She couldn't believe this was even happening!

"I'll leave you two alone. You have a lot to discuss." Fyers' voice came through the thick fog on her brain and she realized she was staring at Yao Fei all this time, but she didn't care. It was this or walking over to him and punching him in the face. "I, on the other hand, am going to take care of our newest recruit."

She didn't see when Fyers left; she was too busy thinking of what to do now. All she could think about was yelling at him for everything that had happened to her because of him. And as usual, she did what came to her mind first.

"I can't believe you're helping him! You were supposed to be a good man! You're just as bad as him if not worse. Shado would be ashamed if she saw you right now!" It didn't look like he was listening before, but when she'd said Shado's name she caught his attention. But she didn't let him say anything now when she was on a roll. "She's looking for you, did you know that? She's been looking for her father for years to clean your name and bring you home, and you're here doing what? Working with the bad guys?"

Felicity paced across the tent, not caring that she probably looked like a crazy person, especially to him when he had no idea why she was angry at him.

"How do you know my daughter?" Yao Fei asked finally, his Chinese accent easily heard. The way he'd said it didn't leave her with any illusions - one wrong word from her and he wouldn't hesitate to hurt her.

Again, Felicity didn't care. Adrenaline coursed through her body, making the anger speak for her. It was the first time when she could say everything she had kept bottled up for so long and she would be damned if she missed that kind of a chance.

She stopped in front of him and dug an accusatory finger into his chest. "I helped her look for you! I'm her friend and I'm here because I'd found you, but Fyers got to me before I could tell her that. I have been working with him for the last five months to keep her safe and you're just here, helping him like you don't care about anything besides your own business!"

Yao Fei looked down at her, his face blank and free of emotions. "I must do what is necessary to keep my daughter safe, even if that means working with my enemy."

She scoffed at him because he used the cliché explanation, something she'd been using all this time.

"And I've done that! I was the reason he hadn't lay a finger on her, he needed me to cooperate!" She didn't care that she was practically yelling at him now. He compromised everything and now there wasn't anything she could do to stop Fyers' plan from happening. "And now by joining him you gave him the only thing he needed to break our arrangement. You gave him leverage! Now he won't hesitate to hurt her and my family because he has everything he needs to finish this operation." Her voice broke then because it was too much for her. In one day her whole world fell apart again and she didn't have the strength to deal with this anymore. "He manipulated you into working with him and you fell right into his trap. Shado would be safe if it wasn't for you. You ruined everything."

If her words hit a chord she wouldn't know because his blank face didn't change its expression. "Then you are foolish if you think that," he said in a low voice, but he didn't scare Felicity. Billy Wintergreen was the only one who could make her shake with fear. "Fyers would hurt her just to spite you and then he would never let you leave this Island with everything you know!" He closed his eyes for a moment and breathed out slowly, and it showed her that her words were strong enough to faze him after all.

Good, at least she knew he was still human underneath that whole cold façade.

"Fyers has Shado." He opened his eyes and looked at her. This time she could see pain in his eyes when he told her those three important words.

"What?" Felicity took a step back, struck with surprise.

It was impossible. Shado was in Hong Kong, safe, far away from Fyers.

"It is true," Yao Fei said. "He showed me proof. Shado is on the Island and Fyers threatened to kill her if I wouldn't help him."

"How do you know he won't kill her anyway? Now, when he has her and does things we can't predict?"

No one was safe anymore, nothing was guaranteed. Fyers had fooled them and for the first time in her life Felicity didn't know what to do anymore.

"He won't if he wants me to be the scapegoat in his plan." Felicity's brows furrowed, not understanding what he meant. "What did you think he wanted me for? He wants me to take the blame when he uses the missile launcher you're working on." The way he looked at her then made her think that his next words weren't going to be anything good. "Fyers wants to start a war."

Felicity stiffened, hearing that. But what was she expecting to hear? That Fyers brought the launcher on the Island to play with the parts and then run some tests? Of course he wanted to do the worst thing that could possibly happen. And Felicity had helped him, not caring to dig for more to find this out sooner.

And then she was furious again.

Yao Fei would help Fyers without putting up a fight? That's not what Shado would want! She would want him to stop Fyers before he did something that couldn't be undone. Shado was strong and she knew how to take care of herself. Felicity knew they could capture her only if she was distracted. If she could see what her father was doing right now she would probably yell at him herself. They needed to stop Fyers somehow and they would do this without putting Shado at risk. If Fyers succeeded, the safety of their loved ones would be the last thing to be worried about.

Felicity's gaze hardened, showing him she had set her mind on something. "I'm here because of you. That means you owe me. So you better find a way to help me stop Fyers or I _swear_ to God, Shado will be your last concern when she finds out you're helping him. I'll find a way to end you, even if it will be the last thing I do."

Yao Fei didn't look away from her and something akin respect flashed in his eyes. Then he stepped to the side and put the green hood on the table, his fingers lingering on it for a second. When he straightened up and looked her way again, his mind was set on something too.

"You have to trust me I will do everything I can to stop Fyers, but only when I will be sure that Shado will come out of this unharmed."

Felicity watched him, taking his words in. She knew his first priority would be Shado no matter what his daughter would wish him to do. No matter what would happen to the ones on the other end of the rope. And knowing now what this operation was really about she couldn't let him cause more harm than good, not when the stakes were so high. She knew Shado better than anyone and she knew his daughter wouldn't want him to sacrifice the lives of thousands of people just to save her own.

And if Yao Fei couldn't understand it, if he couldn't help her despite of knowing how this could end, Felicity would have to stop Fyers alone.

She turned; her legs leading her to the tent's exit as she muttered under her breath, not caring if Yao Fei heard her or not, "I don't think I can trust anyone on this Island."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know, you're probably wondering where are Olicity moments in here. I promise chapter 3 has a lot of them. At the beginning there will be some chapters that won't be featuring the two of them and this is necessary evil. I have to set the story first to get you into it without problems. After that - Olicity all the way! (If you were paing close attention to the flashbacks and to the moment Fyers and Felicity were driving to the camp I'm sure you realized who was there the entire time). :)  
> Please, tell me what you think; if you have any questions - ask away! - I'm at your service. :)
> 
> Find me on tumblr: http://seetheskyaboveus.tumblr.com/ or twitter: @angelica_fit
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or the characters, everything belongs to its rightful owners. However, the idea for this story is mine.  
> Soundtrack: http://8tracks.com/seetheskyaboveus/i-found-love-where-it-wasn-t-supposed-to-be-soundtrack-1  
>   
> Warnings: Graphic Descriptions Of Violence, Torture, Suicide Attempt, Dealing with PTSD & Its Mentions, Possible Mature/Explicit Content In Later Chapters
> 
> A/N: Hello again! Chapter 3 is here! As I've promised I give you a lot of Olicity goodies!  
> Enjoy!

* * *

_**Chapter Three** _

* * *

Felicity had been wandering around the camp for two hours when she realized it was way past the time she could eat something akin to dinner. The talk with Yao Fei and what Fyers had told her before, completely pushed her out of balance. And how couldn't it when it changed everything she was preparing herself for during those last five months?

Shado and the potential of starting a war were all Felicity could think about right now.

It was strange to know that Shado was somewhere on the Island and Felicity couldn't do anything to see with her own eyes if she wasn't hurt, if she was safe. Fyers hadn't told Felicity about taking her to Lian Yu maybe because he knew Yao Fei would tell her or maybe because he wanted to have something new to blackmail her with. Whatever his reasons were, she knew now that he was more than the eyes could see.

He might have been only someone hired to do the job, someone that wasn't as important as his benefactor, but he was also intelligent and calculating. Felicity easily believed that he was just a sadistic bastard craving power, and it was true but what she hadn't seen was that the man manipulated her into focusing only on the things he showed everyone, where in fact they were only a mask to hide everything he was planning to the last detail.

Edward Fyers was good.

But Felicity was better.

Earlier, when Fyers revealed all his cards to her, she was ready to give up again, knowing that she'd underestimated him. She couldn't see a point in sabotaging his plans any longer when she hadn't seen that half of her efforts were done with her eyes closed for all his hidden agendas. She'd felt weak and way over her head. She couldn't find her footing in the face of the truths he'd presented. But after learning that Yao Fei was now his puppet which naively believed Shado would be okay as long as he cooperated, she knew she had to put herself together and start fighting back before it was too late.

She also knew that she wasn't being completely fair. What Yao Fei was doing now was exactly what Felicity had been doing since she'd ended up on the Island - forcefully working with the enemy to keep her loved ones safe. Only then she hadn't known what was the purpose of opening a facility on a deserted Island where Fyers had stationed his people. The circumstances were different now and it changed everything. she couldn't be selfish here, not when she knew the truth. Yao Fei was aware of everything, yet he still chose to take the easy way out. The way that couldn't guarantee that both things could be accomplished. And she couldn't take that kind of risk.

Losing wasn't an option here.

She needed to find a way to keep Shado safe _and_ stop Fyers without risking that one would exclude the other. She knew now that she couldn't trust Fyers even a little bit. Yao Fei was right about one thing - Fyers wouldn't let them live with everything they knew about Lian Yu and the operation. Shado was in danger no matter if they went along with Fyers' demands or if they fought back. It was just a matter of time before Fyers would make his final move and they only had two choices. It seemed Yao Fei already picked one, and regardless of what he thought, this wasn't the side he should be standing by when things would unfold. Not if he wanted his daughter to live. Not if he wanted her to see him as the father she always loved - not the monster he would become because of his actions.

Shado wouldn't forgive him if he sacrificed everything for a matter he couldn't win, not when he wanted to play it out this way.

Felicity shook her head, knowing how much was at risk, how much she had to fight for to not let the Island leave a mark they wouldn't be able to wash off no matter how much they tried.

She had to keep Shado safe, she had to keep Yao Fei in check and she had to figure out how to stop Fyers.

Could she actually do it? Was she capable of fighting on all fronts and not losing control of the situation more than she already had?

Or was she doomed from the start, letting Fyers win, losing Shado and Yao Fai's soul in the game way bigger than she'd imagined?

The uneasiness was rising up inside her, flooding her chest with the seriousness of her situation, and the heavy weight of the responsibility of what would happen if she failed took her breath away for a moment.

They could win or they could lose and she had no idea what were their chances.

The only thing she was sure of was that she couldn't back away now. She'd already started all those weeks ago, slowly delaying the operation day by day. She might as well put her whole mind to it, hoping for a little bit of luck in her unfortunete life.

If it didn't work... well. If it didn't work she would die. But at least she would die trying.

She wasn't planning on becoming just another echo that haunted this Island.

Not anymore.

* * *

Felicity turned around from the trees she was watching for the past ten minutes, reluctant steps taking her back to the main area of the camp. It was time to get back to the role of obedient technician if she wanted Fyers to stay off her back for the next few days as she worked on her plan. She also had to eat something if she wanted the ignition chip to be ready by the end of the week just as Fyers expected. She would need a lot of strength to focus on the job and have a clear head to know when to make her move and when to hold back. She had to be careful if she didn't want to be made. Pick the battles she could fight, wait on the ones she wasn't sure of and maybe they would actually have a chance to win.

Right now, though, she had to focus on the ignition chip, it was the one thing she couldn't delay any longer.

The main area of the camp was just a large, round shaped field separated with tents and tables with weapons and plans spread out carelessly on them. There were some tables where mercenaries ate the mash that was called food and like tonight they drank some cheap alcohol Fyers ordered for them with every shipment. It wasn't anything special, but it was all they could get and they weren't particularly picky as long as it helped them forget about the Island even for a short moment.

Felicity stopped in front of the table with giant metal pots and baskets with not-so-fresh bread. There wasn't too much food left, the mercenaries had eaten most of it, but for her it was enough. She wrinkled her nose when she took a ladle to pour some of the weird tasting stew into the bowl she'd taken from the table. The taste and smell could be questionable for some people, but at least it was still hot.

This stew - which she didn't like very much - was the last important meal she would see in days as this batch of supplies the camp had was already running out. But she didn't worry about that; she had learned how to survive without food for longer than a normal person should go. It was a required thing to know when you lived on a deserted island.

She took a plastic spoon and took the first sip of the stew, still standing by the table. Her nose wrinkled even more and when she finally swallowed it, a small displeased sound escaped her lips.

"Wow, Smoak," a familiar voice called somewhere behind her. "At least show some enthusiasm. You know how much Mark was trying with this one."

Felicity snorted involuntarily, but then remembered she hated Alan so she masked her temporarily amusement with snark. "Save it, Durand. We both know how disgusting this thing is. Mark should have given this to the prisoners; I'm sure Fyers would be pleased if they drop dead after the stew."

Alan came to the table, pouring some of the stew to his bowl himself, but Felicity ignored him. She was trying to imagine that the stew was in fact a large piece of hamburger from the burger joint close to her apartment back in Boston, but when another spoon of this mush was inside her mouth, the illusion disappeared and she knew she could only dream about having real food in her hands.

"Why so sour, Smoak?" Alan asked, trying to sound like he didn't give a damn about her mood, but the sneaky tone of his voice betrayed his true intentions. "Did Fyers yell at his favorite little puppet? Or maybe you're not his favorite anymore?"

Felicity shot him an irritated look. Why was he still talking to her?

"Please, Alan," she said with a mocking tone in her voice. "Don't make yourself sound dumber than you already are." She took another sip of the stew. "You know what happened; you're practically attached to Fyers' hip. I'm sure you're thrilled with the outcome right now so I suggest you gloat while you still can."

Felicity couldn't help it, she had to get the daily portion of annoying Alan and she knew her words would leave him wondering about what she meant. Maybe it was stupid to taunt him like that, he could use it against her or come to the conclusion that she was planning something, but she knew that when Alan was too sure of himself he never paid attention to anything else. So she let him have this moment, she let him focus on making everything perfect for Fyers because she knew it wouldn't last long.

When the plan to stop Edward would finally come to her, she would make sure to take down Durand too.

Alan turned on his side, his brow furrowed as he looked at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Felicity took a step in his direction and gave him a fake smile. "Nothing you should worry that pretty little head of yours about," She patted his arm reassuringly and fist pumped inside her head when he winced in distaste like she expected.

"Whatever," he grumbled at her. "I'm going to feed our new prisoner." He moved to walk away from her, but her hand on his arm stopped him.

"What new prisoner?" she asked, any hint of humor she felt before disappeared from her features.

She didn't hear about any new prisoners when they were moving from the West Camp and if there wasn't any mercenary who broke the rules or something, the only person she could think of to be captured was the stranger that the Green Arch- _Yao Fei_ had freed a couple of days ago. And that would be everything she was afraid of when she had been thinking about him before.

Alan looked at her surprised. "You should know. You were driving with him to the camp after all."

That baffled her. The stranger hadn't been in the jeep with them; she wouldn't just miss him in a small place like that. Durand had to mean one of the mercenaries that had driven with them to the camp. Maybe he did something after they had arrived.

"The blond one?" Alan said like this was supposed to help her guess who he was talking about. "The one who escaped a few days back?" he added.

Something low in her belly shifted at the possible meaning of his words. The only prisoner that escaped from the camp recently was her stranger.

"He pretended to be one of ours, but Fyers saw right through him," Alan continued, unfazed when she suddenly went quiet. "I don't know what he was thinking would happen when he decided to come to rescue the Chinese guy. It's not like he's not working with us now."

The blood was buzzing in her ears and Alan was still talking, but she wasn't listening to him anymore. Her brain was running on high speed, filling in the blanks she couldn't place before.

The mercenary she'd thought was watching her in the jeep. Was he her stranger? He'd been sitting in front of her the whole ride to the camp and she hadn't noticed it was him? How could she not recognize him?

And why did he have to be so stupid to come back to the one place where he wasn't safe? For what? To save Yao Fei who didn't need his saving?

She needed to talk to him. She needed to talk to him _right now_.

"Give me this." Felicity took the tray from Durand's hands. "You should get back to flirting with your radios."

She walked away, leaving Alan standing in front of the tables with his hands raised in the air like he didn't understand what just happened.

Truthfully, she didn't understand either.

Apparently doing stupid and impulsive things was something she had in common with the stranger that just couldn't stay out of danger.

* * *

The prisoner's cages were located on the west side of the camp and they looked impressive only from afar. Up close they looked like a set of boxes made from bamboo sticks. They looked just as uncomfortable as they felt. She would know that; after all one of them was her home for a couple of days once.

She didn't miss it at all.

The first few cages she passed by were empty and when she got to the occupied ones she had to look really hard to see if the stranger was in one of them. The light from the torches was really low and it was hard to see everything clearly. She went by two cages that were occupied, but she didn't pay them too much attention because the dark-skinned prisoners weren't the one she was looking for.

In the cage in the middle though, there was a man who was sitting on the bamboo floor, hugging his legs to his chest. He wore the mercenary uniform and she couldn't see his face because he was pressing it against his knees. When she slowly came closer to the cage to see him better, his dirty blonde messy hair was the only thing that made her believe she was in the right place.

And then he lifted his head, alarmed, like he'd sensed someone's presence beside him and she was met with familiar blue eyes that left quite the impression on her the very first day she saw them. She saw the moment he realized she wasn't a threat, recognition flashing in his eyes and his tensed shoulders relaxed around him.

"Hey, stranger," Felicity smiled at him lightly and he moved his legs down so he could see her better, "The last time I saw you I thought there wouldn't be a next time. I have to say I'm disappointed," her eyes widened slightly when she realized that she could have accidently offended him because she phrased her thoughts wrong, "Not that seeing you is a bad thing - it isn't," she tried to explain, "It's just, I thought you would stay away from trouble for longer than a few days, but it looks like I was wrong about that." When his eyes didn't move from her and he didn't say a thing Felicity cleared her throat awkwardly and lifted the tray slightly so he would focus on something else than her face, "I brought you some food. I promise it's not poisoned. I tried it before," he didn't move and the silence she received from him was getting thicker, making her feel uncomfortable, "Okay, I should stop talking now."

When was the last time she babbled like that? Felicity shook her head. It was a bad idea to come here, what was she expecting to happen anyway? It's not like they were besties - she was working with his enemy, of course he wouldn't want to talk to her. Things couldn't get more awkward than that.

She slipped the tray between the small space between the cage's door and its floor so he could easily reach the food and then she turned around and walked away. The fifth step she took away from his cage was her last one because his voice calling after her stopped her from moving any further.

"I'm Oliver," he paused, "In case you were wondering," he said loud enough to catch her attention, but not enough to alarm anyone else, "What's your name?"

She stood with her back to him, but the hesitation she heard in his voice made her turn again to see him. He didn't touch the tray, but he moved closer to the cage's door like he was afraid that she would really leave him alone again. She knew how much it had to cost him to show a stranger that kind of vulnerability and it made the uncertainty of her actions vanish from her thoughts.

"Felicity. Felicity Smoak," she told him with a hint of a smile on her face.

One corner of his lips moved upwards creating a half-smile and she liked this look on his face. It made him seem lighter, like he wasn't imprisoned in Purgatory. She took a few tentative steps back to him; she didn't want to scare him off now, when he looked like he would talk to her. He was watching her out of the corner of his eyes, seeking for something that would alert him if her intentions weren't purely honest as he took the bowl with the stew in his hands. It made her nod in approval that he listened to his survival instincts and not just trusted her because she brought him some food. Maybe he wasn't as careless as she thought.

He put the spoon inside his mouth, tasting the stew for the first time and she watched as he cringed at the taste of it. He looked up at her like it was her fault it tasted that bad and she shrugged, grinning lightly. He put the bowl back on the tray and took a piece of bread instead, his eyes moving across her face.

"Why did you come to see me?" he finally asked; his voice deep and a little rough.

"I came because I was curious why you're here again, when you were free?" she said not missing a beat, "Why come back?"

Oliver shook his head lightly with a grimace on his face. She had a feeling he was questioning his choice himself, "I came back to help a friend, but apparently I shouldn't have trusted him."

So she was right. He was here because of Yao Fei.

She didn't know what happened between them or how they met, but she could see that Yao's betrayal really hurt him. He was still naïve if he thought he could trust anyone here. He shouldn't trust anyone just because someone did something good for him. Trust had to be earned and it had to have a strong foundation if it was going to mean something. Trust wasn't an easy thing to find on the Island. If you trusted the wrong person you had to reconcile with the fact that it could end badly for you. And it was something Felicity knew Oliver had no idea about.

"You shouldn't trust anyone on this Island," she pointed out.

Oliver's eyes snapped up to hers and he tilted his head a little, watching her intently, "Even you?"

Felicity's lips threatened to stretch into a small smile at his words. He had a point she forgot about, "Especially me," she said after a moment, but her voice didn't sound confident and he could easily see that she might not be completely serious.

Oliver smiled slightly to himself and then took the other piece of bread from the tray, "So what's your story, Felicity?" he asked between bites, "How does someone like you end up in a place like this?"

She snorted at his question because it sounded awfully like a bad pick up line he probably used on a lot of women, "I could ask you the same question, Oliver," she said, crossing her arms over her chest; his name rolling from her tongue in a strange, but not unwelcome manner.

"I'm sure your story is much more interesting than mine," he tore a piece of bread and put it inside his mouth, something akin to amusement dancing in his eyes. It made her watch him closely.

He was inside a cage in a camp full of mercenaries armed with rifles and yet he managed to find something funny in this situation. Or maybe it was just his coping mechanism; she wouldn't blame him if that was the case.

"Try me," she challenged him after a moment and she was surprised when she felt a thrill going through her body at the easiness of her response. Something strange was happening to her and this feeling wasn't really familiar to her. She distantly remembered feeling similar when she was with her friends, having fun and not caring about anything other than the present moment, but this felt slightly different. Not a bad different though.

Oliver swallowed the piece of bread he was chewing on and he brushed the damp strands of hair from his forehead, her eyes following the movement. It looked like he was thinking about something really hard, like he was deciding what to say to her and then he shrugged like whatever he was thinking about didn't matter anymore. He rested the back of his head against the bamboo wall, his gaze shooting from the piece of bread in his hand and locking on her face.

"Oliver Queen," he pointed at himself with his thumb, "A billionaire playboy, who cheated on his girlfriend with her sister and left on a cruise to China with his father only to be caught in a storm that sank the ship killing the crew, his father and his girlfriend's sister, leaving him stranded on an island where everyone tries to kill him," he said in one breath with a neutral tone and when he was finished, he stiffened like the words that left his mouth a second ago, for the first time made him realize that this was really his life, that he hadn't just dreamt any of this.

Felicity had no idea how long he'd been on Lian Yu, it could be days or it could be weeks and it didn't matter. It just meant that in all the days he spent on the Island he didn't really stop to think about his life and about everything that had happened to him, that he didn't have time to come to terms with it. That just now, when he was locked in the cage he realized how much he went through in such a short period of time. Some of it was his own fault and some of it was someone else's doing, but the outcome was the same. It completely changed the life he knew and he didn't know how to deal with it. Not yet at least.

Felicity was familiar with that feeling; she experienced it some days after Fyers left her to recover from the torture and despite there being moments she thought about everything that was happening to her, she didn't really have time to process it. All they gave her were these brief moments when she wondered if she'd done something differently maybe she wouldn't be here now.

And she knew he was thinking about this now.

He was blaming himself like she did before. He was wishing for things that were impossible now and no matter how long he would beg in his mind to come back home or at least to save the people he cared about that died when he lived, it would never happen. It was too late for that and now he could only accept that fact and try to move on because if he didn't the Island would kill him.

What happened to him was tragic, but he couldn't change that. Felicity learned that a long time ago. He had to focus on other things because thinking about this would break him and just the thought of that made this strange pain jab at her heart.

It was weird to be on this side of the coin. They went through similar things and saw the dark and deep bottom of misery. But she was the one who picked herself up from the ground and became a changed person, not weaker just... changed. Experienced.

She met him only twice, but from the very beginning it felt like it was faith that brought him here. The similarity of their situations opened her eyes on a lot of things, made her question her actions. If it wasn't for him she would probably still be the Felicity Fyers controlled and made do anything for him. She would probably help him start a war and she wouldn't think twice about it. Oliver showed her how much she'd let everything affect her, how much she let it get to her and that it almost destroyed her.

Now she felt that she didn't have a choice but to do the same for him.

Felicity knew she would never escape from the Island; that she would never go back to her life and she accepted that. Because the wakeup call came too late and she couldn't change anything now. All she could do was try to stop Fyers, try to do something so she wouldn't die for nothing. But if she would get a chance to show Oliver he could do everything differently, that he could see there was something to fight for, maybe he would get the chance she never had.

His journey on the Island was only beginning and she, like no one else, knew what was waiting for him. He helped her find herself again and she had to repay him by doing the same for him. At least she had to try. Maybe it was stupid of her to think that, maybe it was just the similarity she saw between them. Maybe she felt like that because no one was there for her when she needed someone to guide her, to help her get through this. Or maybe because she knew it was already too late for her.

Whatever it was, she saw it as the only thing that was clear for her. That made some sense in a place where everything was trying to confuse her.

The air between them shifted drastically from harmless banter to this serious wondering about their lives Felicity didn't like too much. And she hadn't even told him her story yet. Oliver was staring into space, his face tired and resigned. He looked like he was ready to give up, like he didn't see a point in his life now. And the only out from this situation was to show him that he wasn't the only one who knew this feeling, who felt that nothing mattered anymore.

She took a step closer and leaned her side to the cage, but he didn't acknowledge her move, he just stayed in this numbness and she had to hurry if she wanted to help him get past this.

"Felicity Smoak," she introduced herself again, "Honors student of MIT who moved to Hong Kong for an internship and met a woman whose father was framed for military massacre and was sent to prison for life on a deserted island."

Oliver finally looked at her again, her voice pulling him out of his thoughts and it looked like her last words caught his attention. But if she was going to tell him this, she couldn't sound like she was reading a book summary from a magazine. She took in a deep breath and then just let the mask slip from her face.

"I hacked some classified files to find him and the government sent assassins after me. I was taken from my apartment in Hong Kong straight to Lian Yu and then I was tortured for days," Oliver's eyes widened at her confession and she smiled sadly, remembering the pain of the blade slicing through her skin. She cleared her throat and started again, "Fyers wanted me to reveal everything I knew about my friend's father - General Yao Fei," Oliver's eyes flashed at the familiar name and he opened his mouth to say something, but she shook her head showing him she wasn't finished yet, "And then he made me work for him in exchange for not touching my family. Somewhere along the way I lost my purpose in life and became someone I don't recognize sometimes."

When she finished talking, Oliver was watching her with this strange expression she couldn't place, something a lot like pity but not quite. There was sadness in his eyes and she knew which parts of what she had said made him feel like that. She could tell he was curious about the fact she knew Yao Fei, but it wasn't the time to talk about that.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly after a moment. He wasn't looking her in the eyes anymore and he sounded ashamed, like he thought that teasing her before about whose story was more interesting was a stupid idea because now, when they exchanged the stories of their lives it didn't feel funny. Only tragic.

"Don't be," she said simply because she didn't want him to feel sorry about that, "Let's just agree that both of our stories are tragic in their own way, that none was better than the other, okay?" he nodded lightly a second later, but she could still see guilt on his face. Felicity sighed, that wasn't her intention at all, "Look," she said, "I didn't tell you that to make you feel worse than you already are feeling," she pushed the glasses back on her nose when they slipped from it slightly, "I told you this to show you that shitty things happen to people all the time and it doesn't matter whose story is worse. What matters is what people do with everything that happened to them."

She watched as he realized where she was going with it and he didn't look like he wanted to hear a pep talk from her because it was the cliché-est thing to do in that kind of situation, but it didn't look like he would stop her either so Felicity took her chance.

"I'm going to give you some advice and whatever you'll do with it, it's completely up to you," Oliver watched her and it looked like he was okay with that so she continued, "This pain you're feeling right now? This rage coursing through your veins? It's going to eat you alive if you let it control you." She kept an open expression because she didn't want him to think that she was saying this only to make him feel better. She wanted him to know she really meant it, "I know it's easy to say and you're not ready for that yet, but you have to move past that," she was nodding her head along with her words, "If you want to survive on this Island, if you want to come home one day, you have to take your life into your own hands and fight for yourself because no one else will."

She bit on her lower lip, her eyes moving over his face. She wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing by saying this. He could get angry with her easily because who was she to tell him how to deal with everything? Oliver looked like he wanted to shut her out; her words had hit close to home, but her uncertain expression had to convince him to listen to everything she had to say.

She breathed out, grateful that he let himself do that and she continued with a voice more confident than before, "You have to see past your pain and your guilt; you have to keep going if you want to survive. I gave up at the very beginning, after Billy Wintergreen was done with me," she admitted and he carefully listened to her every word, "All I could feel was this emptiness that took me over out of nowhere and then nothing mattered anymore," she paused for a second, "Recently I realized that was the biggest mistake of my life; that I didn't fight for myself, that I was weak and I let Fyers decide for me," she smiled sadly, bowing her head, "It's too late for me now, I can't change that, but you still have a chance," her head lifted then and her eyes locked on his, "You can make it home, but only when you don't give up like I did."

What she said was a lot to take in and for a moment she thought she said more than enough when he watched her with this intense gaze. He was looking at her like he could see right through her; like he could read her every thought and she stopped breathing for a second. Then his lips turned up into the tiniest of smiles and it did something to her low in her belly.

"Did living on the Island come with a Yoda course no one told me about?" he asked lightly and she didn't expect it at all. His eyes didn't harden like she thought they would, instead she found warmth in them. She realized he was simply teasing her.

Felicity flushed gently at the sudden change of pace between them. What he said had a point, she kind of sounded like Yoda teaching him a life lesson. It was a little embarrassing, "Sorry, that was intense," she cleared her throat with a small laugh, looking down for a second, "You probably think I'm a nut job or something."

"No," he said slowly, "That's not what I'm thinking at all."

Something in his voice made her look at him and his intense gaze was back, but this time there was something else in it too. Something like admiration? Curiosity?

No. She had to be seeing things.

She pushed from the cage and untangled her arms from around herself. She straightened her glasses again and then her hands dropped loosely to her sides. Oliver was watching her the whole time, with a small smirk on his lips and she knew he had to see the way he was affecting her.

"Just..." Felicity swallowed, not sure what to say to him, "Think about what I've said." He gave her a small nod and she was grateful he would at least consider it. She took a step back then and pointed a finger at some point behind her, "I should probably go now, before someone will start looking for me," she said slowly, but she still didn't move. The way he was watching her made it hard to leave him alone in here, but after a moment she finally managed to move, this time without hesitating, "See you around, Oliver," she said softly and left.

If she'd known that those would be the last words she said to him, she would've said something more meaningful. Something that mattered.

* * *

It was twenty minutes later when she was walking by the clearing where the fights were happening. Mercenaries forming a circle, laughing and cheering someone on, fire in the barrels burning around them and Fyers standing to the side with Billy Wintergreen. Someone was fighting in the middle of the circle and she would've managed to sneak past them without anyone noticing, sparing herself the view of someone dying, but Fyers saw her at the last moment.

"Ms. Smoak!" he called after her retreating back and she stilled, sighing in frustration. After a second she turned and slowly made her way to him.

Fyers was watching the fight with a condescending smirk on his face, his arms crossed over his chest. There was a dead body dropped not far away behind him and Felicity looked away quickly, protecting herself from the view. When she was by his side, she froze, her breath catching as she saw who was fighting for his life.

Oliver was trying to block the blows Yao Fei was throwing at him, but he didn't have a chance against someone as trained in marital arts as Yao Fei. It looked like this had been going on for some time now, Oliver barely stood on his feet with blood on his face. The energy leaving his body with every successful hit Yao Fei planted on him. When Yao Fei put him in a chokehold and Oliver grabbed at his forearms to stop him from cutting off his oxygen, Felicity shot forward. Billy Wintergreen grabbed her and hauled her back forcefully and she stopped only when she hit his chest.

"He's killing him!" she yelled at Fyers who was watching her with curious eyes.

She tried to get free from Wintergreen's grip, but she was weak and all she could do was watch as Yao Fei was slowly killing Oliver.

"Do you want to take his place, Ms. Smoak?" the tone of his voice was challenging and his jaw was clenching; that was enough to tell her he wasn't in a mood to deal with her.

Her wide eyes snapped to Oliver's face and she could swear she caught his gaze for a second. His pain and desperation to get free reflecting in it. She could see the life leaving his body and before she managed to say anything, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and Yao Fei dropped him carelessly to the ground. Fyers said something, but Felicity was too focused on Oliver's body on the ground to hear him.

Oliver didn't move. He was lying on the ground with his face turned away from her and he didn't move.

She shook her head from side to side as she took in a shuddering breath, denying that this happened. With everything she had she broke away from Wintergreen's grip and she turned around, walking away in a hurry.

He didn't move. He didn't...

Oliver was _dead_.

Oh God, how could this happen?

Felicity's hands were shaking and the further from the clearing she got the more cold she felt, her body shivering badly. Yao Fei killed Oliver; he killed the man who came for him, who was his friend. How could he do this? He wasn't the man Shado told her about. He was ruthless and he was a killer. Felicity lost the only potential friend she had in the camp because of him.

She shook her head again, not believing that all of this just happened. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and she didn't even know when she started crying. She failed him. She failed before she even really started helping him. All that she said to him before, all that she asked him to do was for nothing now because he was dead. Her stranger was dead and he would never go home.

She just lost the only person who made her see she couldn't keep living the way she was. That she could do better.

Suddenly it was too much.

She stopped abruptly at the tree line and she bent in half trying to breathe. In one day everything she believed in turned upside down. First Fyers broke the deal between them, then Yao Fei joined the enemy and Shado was on the Island as the bargaining chip. Lastly the man who said he was protecting his daughter, who asked Felicity to trust him, killed the man she was trying to help. She felt betrayed and hurt and it was overwhelming her, the feeling of suffocating taking over her, the bile rising in her throat.

She threw up, emptying the contents of her stomach on the grass, but the pain in her chest didn't lessen.

She had no idea what to do now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you liked this one! This story is only going to escalate from here. :)
> 
> (Spoiler alert!) This honest talk between Oliver and Felicity was only the first one from many more that will come in the future. I want to make something else with the two of them, something very different from the relationship he had with Shado on the show. As you know, Island Oliver might be a good guy but he was still the selfish kid that washed up on the shore of Lian Yu. He claimed that he loved Laurel, but in a short time he got into a relationship with Shado and when she died he started something with Sara (again). Then when he finally came back to Starling City he claimed that he missed Laurel the most. I think you know what I mean - I see some seriously mixed signals here.
> 
> In this story I need him to grow in a different way and that will be possible thanks to Felicity - you know how she can change a person. She's gonna ask a lot of questions, she's gonna make him think about what he's doing, who he is and what he feels. She's gonna make him evaluate his life choices, but she won't make him into something he doesn't want to be. She's only going to push him into the right direction and that is going to help him grow emotionally to the person he would like to be, but he was afraid to be his whole life. Felicity will change Oliver, but he'll change her too. And this way I can give you a honest partnership, friendship and a relationship that I really want them to have.
> 
> Slow burn, guys. Hang in there!
> 
>  
> 
> Find me on twitter: @angelica_fit or on tumblr: http://seetheskyaboveus.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or the characters. The idea for this story is mine.  
> Soundtrack: http://8tracks.com/seetheskyaboveus/i-found-love-where-it-wasn-t-supposed-to-be-soundtrack-1  
> You can also read this story on FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11129309/1/I-Found-Love-Where-It-Wasn-t-Supposed-To-Be  
> Warnings: Graphic Descriptions Of Violence, Torture, Possible Mature/Explicit Content In Later Chapters
> 
> A/N: Hello everyone! Thank you for your amazing response to the last chapter! I think I have to nag you about leaving some comments more often lol :) I was extremely happy to see that so many people dropped me a line about liking this story because I really thought it wasn't anything special, but you certainly know how to make someone's week better! I really enjoyed talking to you guys and I hope it wasn't the last time. :)
> 
> This chapter won't have any Oliver/Felicity moments in it so I have to apologize for that but, like I said before, this is pivatable for developing this story. I can promise you though, after this chapter Oliver and Felicity are everywhere and it's fun and painful and the drama is getting so so big you better get ready for the dark times - they are coming your way!
> 
> Thank you for waiting a week longer than usual for the update and sending me your best wishes, this was really kind of you and I love you guys for that! *HUGS*
> 
> I'll let you read now. :)

* * *

_**Chapter Four** _

* * *

 

The ignition chip was ready after eighty-seven hours of working non-stop. It was the longest and most stressful four days in Felicity's life.

Fyers barricaded himself up in his tent making satellite phone calls with his benefactor and leaving only when he felt the need to yell at Felicity about working faster. Something told her that the benefactor wasn't pleased with the delays they were dealing with for some time now. But the yelling wasn't helping anyone. It only made her angrier and more frustrated and if her self-control finally snapped, she would make some kind of a big mistake with the chip and she didn't want to be responsible for that.

Every night she slept exactly four hours and when the chip was finally finished she looked like a zombie and she was ready to bite off the head of anyone who dared to step on her path. It was entirely her fault that she slept so little. The chip would be ready without sacrificing her health, but when she started working on the chip the first day, the idea of how to stop Fyers just popped inside her head.

When she was staring at this little piece of metal that held the answers to activating the launcher she had a revelation. All she had to do to prevent Fyers from starting a war was simply block the chip from connecting with the circuit board and without that the missile would never work.

After the work day was done and everyone went back to their tents to regenerate for the next day, Felicity smuggled some cables and tools along with the ignition chip to her tent and when everyone slept she worked on making her idea come to life. At the beginning it seemed stupid and something she wouldn't be able to pull off, but when did she withdraw from a challenge?

Creating the block wasn't easy with so little tools she could use and she had to be creative, not to mention careful so Fyers or anyone from the communication station wouldn't realize what she was doing. She had a really old piece of a computer she used to connect to the chip and hack the source creating a set of code that would block the chip the moment the launcher was set to fire the missile. The block could only be turned off with her access codes and she made sure it worked with the circuit board when the trial tests were happening. The block would activate every time someone disassembled the chip from the circuit board and it turned out perfectly for her because she was the only one who could physically work on the launcher and that meant she would be there every time to turn it off and on without anyone noticing.

She was a genius after all.

To say Fyers was ecstatic that she made it on time would be an understatement. He looked like the chip Felicity presented him saved his life and that was the last thing she wanted to do for him. She had to pretend she was happy as well when all she wanted to do was smash this chip on his face and go back to sleep for some time. But unfortunately that wasn't an option.

The next few days were spent on preparing for the trial tests to see if the launcher could work as Fyers desired. Felicity was sent to this small valley surrounded with trees and rocks where the launcher was stored. At first she had a small panic attack when she thought that her plan wouldn't work, but when the circuit board was connected properly and the old dashboard lit asking for an access code she barely stopped herself from dancing in happiness. After that all that was left was to monitor if the launcher was working without any problems and report her observations back to Fyers. He was so pleased with her work that he was blinded to see that she was lying straight to his face.

Her plan was working perfectly.

* * *

A few days later when she came back from the valley after another seemingly successful test, she reported to Fyers at his other station by the small lake on Lian Yu. He cleared her for the rest of the day and when she was leaving his tent, Yao Fei came to see him. Felicity couldn't walk any faster to get away from him, she was avoiding him since the night he killed Oliver.

At first, the very next day she wanted to find him, the fury rampaging inside her wanted some kind of justice for what he did, but then she realized it wouldn't change anything. Oliver would still be dead and she would still feel this emptiness inside of her that consumed her, but this time for a completely different reason.

She couldn't find a logical explanation why his death affected her so much. She didn't know him long and she talked to him only once, but it looked like it was enough to feel some kind of connection between them. He was a good listener and he didn't judge her. She could give him advice without feeling that he would throw it away the moment she was gone. He was the first person on Lian Yu that didn't want something from her, that simply wanted to be in her company talking or not - it didn't matter.

Whatever it was it didn't feel fake and that was something she was missing for a long time. Everyone on this Island was fake. Everyone was a liar and everyone cared only about themselves. It was a cold reality that she couldn't avoid. With Oliver and his barely there smile, for a second she could forget that there wasn't anything else waiting for her out there.

She wanted to help him, but now it was too late and Yao Fei made sure of it.

Felicity was behind the truck preparing her things to go back to the east camp when Yao Fei left Fyers' tent. She wanted to leave when she saw him heading in her direction, but something inside her decided against it. The anger she kept from exploding inside her was seeking for a way out and maybe it was time to get it out of her system before she did something foolish.

Yao Fei passed by the truck without noticing her and before she could rethink what she was doing she grabbed his arm and pulled him behind the truck. In the next second she was pinned to the hard metal of the car; Yao Fei's forearm threatening to crush her windpipe.

She fought for air and for a moment she thought he would kill her, but then his eyes widened slightly like he just recognized her and then the pressure on her throat disappeared. Felicity coughed and grabbed her hurting throat while Yao Fei was cursing something under his breath in Mandarin; darkness disappearing from his eyes. Felicity realized that whatever he was talking about with Fyers couldn't be good if it affected him so much that he was ready to attack anyone who touched him.

For a second she was actually afraid of him. But then she remembered she wouldn't have survived for so long if she let the fear control her.

Yao Fei was watching her with the same blank expression she saw on his face the first day. It didn't tell her anything and it was starting to annoy her. Felicity lifter her chin high, not showing him anything as well, but she knew she couldn't hide her anger from him no matter how hard she tried.

"You killed Oliver," she said in the most controlled tone she could muster, but she heard the accusation in her tone anyway.

His jaw tightened at her words and it was the only sign that told her he still had emotions somewhere under that mask, "You knew Oliver," it was more of a statement than a question and for a moment she wondered why he would answer that way.

"I met him the first time he was captured. I wanted to help him," she said like it was the most obvious thing to do back then.

"You are the one who gave him the knife," he said and she could see as understanding fell on him.

Right, the knife. She'd already forgotten about that. Out of nowhere she wanted to hide or walk away from him. Her talking about Oliver to Yao Fei was like plainly admitting that she cared about him somehow and that wasn't the point at all. The way he looked at her now wasn't helping her to stay calm. He looked at her like he actually felt sorry for her, for losing him or for being stupid enough to feel some kind of attachment to him - she wasn't sure which one it was.

It only made her straighten her back and take a step closer into his personal space, showing she didn't have anything to hide, "Why did you kill him?" she asked, "Why would you kill the only person who came for you, who wanted to help you? He trusted you!" she hissed at him and maybe she wasn't that good at hiding her emotions.

"You have no idea what you are talking about," Yao Fei said in a harsh tone, not affected by her attempts to intimidate him.

"So tell me then!" her voice was louder than she intended it to be and she looked to the side quickly to see if she wasn't attracting anyone's unnecessary attention. When she was sure they were safe she turned her eyes back to look at him, "If you want me to trust you that all you're trying to do is to keep Shado safe, explain to me how killing Oliver was a part of it. Tell me how you could kill your friend without thinking twice about it," her voice was shaking a little, but she would be damned if she was weak in front of him.

Yao Fei was quiet for a long moment, watching her with hard eyes like he set his mind on something. It was enough to know he would not budge and tell her what she wanted to hear. It was enough to know he didn't care if she trusted him and that he really wasn't the same man Shado told her stories about.

"I must do what is necessary to keep my daughter safe," he said slowly the same words he said to her days ago and this time it sounded even more rehearsed than before, like he had been repeating those words for a long time now.

Felicity scoffed, shaking her head. She wanted to laugh because she didn't know why she started this conversation in the first place; she shouldn't have expected that he would tell her anything.

"You know what?" she looked at him again with bitterness in her eyes, "Do what you have to do to keep Shado safe," she nodded her head at him, her voice showing him how much she hated those words, "But stay away from me. I don't trust you and I never will," she said harshly. She stepped away from him and moved to go; the anger she felt didn't lessen, instead it ran hot inside her veins. At the last second she came to a halt, deciding to say something that would make her feel better, "Remember what I promised you in that tent..." her voice was strong, the anger giving her confidence to focus on something else, "Because I intend to keep that promise."

She left, her threat hanging in the air between them and she hoped he took her seriously. If he would do anything to hurt her or try to stop her from doing what's necessary he would pay for that. The stakes were too high to let anyone get in her way, no matter who that person was.

* * *

Later that day, when she was eating the same bad tasting stew the news about the explosions at the station by the lake reached the east camp. Half of the mercenary team left to report to Fyers and deal with what happened.

Felicity didn't get the real explanation. Alan told her that Billy Wintergreen's ex-partner came back for vengeance and he got it when he killed Wintergreen by driving a sword through his eye. That he was the one responsible for the explosions and destroying half of their supplies.

She was actually happy that Wintergreen was dead. The only man who managed to break her and turn her into someone she didn't recognize finally paid for his sins. He got what he deserved. But somehow Felicity knew there was more to it than Durand was telling her. She saw how the camp reacted to that news and they wouldn't be so moved if vengeance was all that Wintergreen's ex-partner wanted. It had to be much more complicated than that.

It was unnerving to stay in the dark and the thought that she had no idea why they would keep the truth from her was starting to worry her. Because the only reason everyone would try to shut her out was that Fyers stopped trusting her. But that couldn't be true, right? She didn't give him any reason to doubt her loyalty.

When he came back to the camp it was already dark and he was looking for her. Apparently his satellite radio was damaged in one of the explosions. He didn't look like he wanted to kill her and he didn't look at her in a strange way - he was just the old angry Fyers she knew for a while. That let her calm down a little and she could focus on fixing his satellite phone.

"Thank you for your assistance, Ms. Smoak," he said after she fixed the problem and handed him the phone back, "You were working overtime lately and you contributed to my cause a lot. I am very grateful for that. Go to my tent, there's something waiting for you as a show of my gratitude," the tone of his voice was dismissive, but she furrowed her brows at him anyway, not understanding what he meant.

Fyers never showed his gratitude, no matter what she did to help him. He shouldn't be surprised that she would question his words. Still he didn't explain it to her, he just pointed at his tent and then he turned around and walked away, making the call.

After a moment of watching him talk to his benefactor, Felicity moved knowing that she wouldn't get answers without seeing what he meant. The last time someone waited for her in a tent, she met Yao Fei and it didn't make her feel enthusiastic right now. Whatever it was it served to benefit Fyers and force her to cooperate as usual.

Felicity entered the tent slowly, this time taking it in the moment her foot stepped inside. It looked normal just like the way Fyers left it in the morning, with his files and maps lying around the table. There was only one thing out of place.

A dark-haired woman lying on the floor, facing Felicity.

This time Felicity didn't freeze when she realized who it was, somehow she already knew that Fyers would bring her here at some point. Felicity closed the distance between them in three long steps, her heart beating wildly. She fell to her knees beside her and her hand hovered over the bare shoulder, fearing if she touched her she would disappear.

It was strange, she should be worried that she was here, that she wasn't safe in Hong Kong, but at this exact moment all she felt was relief that she wasn't alone anymore. That she had someone to help her get through this.

Felicity's hand landed slowly on her shoulder, the cold from her skin seeping into her own. She breathed out trying to collect herself and then she asked quietly, "Shado?" her voice was shaking. Why was her voice shaking so much? "Shado," she repeated, "Open your eyes," she squeezed her shoulder gently and Shado's head moved a little, a small groan escaping her lips.

Then her eyes snapped open, fear and disorientation visible in the dark pools. When her eyes shifted and found hers, they widened. Felicity smiled sadly at her, blinking away the tears that were threatening to spill.

"Felicity?" Shado asked and moved to sit up; Felicity helped her up, "Felicity, what is going on?" she asked in a small voice and it was probably the first time Felicity saw her scared like that; her hair falling out from her ponytail, creating a mess that was completely opposed to who Shado was, "You went missing five months ago, I couldn't find you anywhere!" she admitted in a broken voice that showed Felicity how much her disappearance affected her friend.

"I found your father," Felicity stated, but the joy she always thought she would feel with saying those words wasn't there and it only made her remember what kind of a man Shado's father was now, "I found your father and then I was kidnapped by the same men that had him. We're on Lian Yu, the prison island I was looking into," Shado's eyes fell when she understood what Felicity's words meant. They were trapped without a way out and they couldn't do anything about that, "I'm so sorry you were dragged into this," the tears finally fell from her eyes and a sob escaped Shado's lips.

"Why is this happening to us?" Shado asked in a shaking voice, her head bobbing up and down, "Why can't we live in peace?"

Felicity shook her head not knowing how to answer her. Both of them went through so much. So much pain and suffering that clung to them every day, not wanting to let go. Stripping the hope away and leaving them in the dark waiting for another blow to come. How much more could they take before it was too late to come back from the bottom and try to live again?

Felicity didn't know if it was a matter of days or months, sometimes it even felt like one moment was enough to break her in a way she would never come back from. But she fought. She fought to survive another day, she fought to stop Fyers and make her life mean something again. She wasn't giving up even when it would have been so easy to just stop fighting and let the faiths decide for her again.

And if she could do it, if she could get up every day and move forward one step at a time, if she could get closer to finding the peace Shado was wishing for then she would help Shado do this too. She was stronger than her, she was a warrior inside and out and Felicity would rather die than let Shado give up without a fight.

In the next moment Felicity was enveloping her in a hug and both of them were crying, holding onto each other as tightly as they could.

The past few days finally caught up with her, the exhaustion reaching her tipping point, Oliver's death still hanging above her and it was just so good to be held by someone else. To know that she wasn't the only one hurting and that there was someone who could sympathize with her; who could take the pain away for a moment.

Shado was with her and right now she was safe. It wasn't anything she wanted for her, but at least she wouldn't be alone and scared on the Island that could destroy her. At least now Felicity had a chance to help her better, to protect her the way she tried to do from the very beginning. At least she had a chance to fix everything she did wrong when she thought the arrangement was enough to keep Fyers away from her.

It wasn't ideal, but it was everything she would get and she would not waste that chance.

"Shado?" the moment was interrupted when a familiar male voice joined them in the tent.

Felicity withdrew from Shado's arms and looked back at Yao Fei who was watching them like he didn't believe what he was seeing. In the next moment he was moving and then he was scooping his daughter in his arms, embracing her with all the strength he had.

Shado cried, the years of searching for her father finally coming to an end when she had her arms around him. The mask Yao Fei worked so hard to keep on his face finally slipped and his expression was equally broken and relieved. That was the most emotional state Felicity ever saw him in and it made her think that maybe he was still the man his daughter believed he was. Their quiet sobs were filling the tent and they were whispering something in Mandarin, maybe tender words or assurances that everything was going to be okay.

Felicity's heart was beating even faster than before and she might not know what was going to happen next, she might not know if it really would be okay. But in that moment she knew one thing. Every one of them was broken in some way. They were in pieces and it was hard to find a way to fix everything that went wrong; to fix everything that made them who they were now and she wasn't sure if they had enough time to do just that.

But she would try and she would hope that in the end it wouldn't be too late to put the pieces back together where they belonged.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So... Shado is in the game! Anyone excited about that? Because I am!
> 
> Like I said, now the story really starts. The things that will be happening to our characters will even take them by surprise. The chapters will be longer because the storyline didn't let me make them short and everything just gets pretty serious. A lot of developments in Oliver and Felicity's relationship, some great friendships forming and torture coming your way. This chapters will be the most busiest ones I think, a lot will happen in them.
> 
> I hope you liked chapter 4 even if Oliver wasn't present (he's still dead, right?) and please, let me know what you think if you feel like it. I'll really appreciate it! :)
> 
> Find me on twitter: angelica_fit or on tumblr: http://seetheskyaboveus.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or the characters. The idea for this story is mine.  
> Soundtrack: http://8tracks.com/seetheskyaboveus/i-found-love-where-it-wasn-t-supposed-to-be-soundtrack-1  
> You can also read this story on FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11129309/1/I-Found-Love-Where-It-Wasn-t-Supposed-To-Be  
> Warnings: Graphic Descriptions Of Violence, Torture, Possible Mature/Explicit Content In Later Chapters
> 
> A/N: Hi! Chapter Five for you guys! Like I promised - Oliver and Felicity's interactions and some others as well, plus this is the point where the fun really begins, so buckle up - a lot is goint to happen!
> 
> Thank you for your amazing comments that certainly are helping me a lot with writing this story, especially now when I,m stucked in the middle of chapter nine that is actually the last one of season one. I have the worst writier's block that someone can have: I know exactly what I want to write, but I still can't write it. This sucks! I'm trying to finish this chapter seven days already and I'm just really tired. I hope I'll get past this.
> 
> Now, please, move past my rambling and enjoy this chapter. It was hard for me to write it, but there are parts that I really like so I hope it works. A big Thank You to @CahSalvatore who decided to help me and looked this chapter over for me, just like the future ones that will be posted. Thanks Hon, you're the best! <3

* * *

_**Chapter Five** _

* * *

Felicity was surprised when Fyers let Shado stay with her in her small tent. He didn't protest and he didn't take her away after Felicity and Yao Fei reunited with her. He just simply ordered Felicity to help accommodate their new 'guest' in the camp and then he left taking Yao Fei with him.

Despite that things between her and Yao Fei weren't smooth like she wished they would be before she met him, Felicity saw the pleading look in his eyes when he was leaving with Fyers. Yao Fei knew she wasn't his biggest fan right now and yet he begged her with his eyes to take care of his daughter. To keep her safe when he couldn't be by her side. It's not like Felicity wouldn't do that - Shado was her friend, in these circumstances Felicity could even say she was like a sister to her - so of course she would do what she could to protect her. She was doing that for five months already.

They had a few days for themselves before Felicity had to go back to finish the trial tests before the last day of Fyers' operation would come. With every passing hour that brought them closer to the day Fyers was waiting for two years, Felicity couldn't help but feel more anxious and troubled. The doubts were filling her head with everything that could go wrong, with everything that could endanger them and the innocent people who would find themselves on the other side of the missile.

Her plan had to work. It had to work otherwise the outcome would be something Felicity would not be able to handle. Something that would destroy her.

The night before the last trial test was especially weighting on her. She couldn't sleep thinking if her block would work like the day before; if it wouldn't suddenly turn off when she needed it the most. At some point she had to be thinking too loud because Shado woke up and one concern look on her friend's face was enough for Felicity to give a long tired breath and start talking about everything and nothing.

Few days before, Shado told her how exactly Fyers' men got to her and her words only confirmed her suspicions. Shado was caught off guard when the men told her they knew where Felicity was - she didn't see the taser until it was too late. What left Felicity worried was that Shado was on the Island for over a month. A month where she'd thought the agreement was still working, that she had control over the situation. A month where Fyers had been two steps ahead of her, planning everything to leave her without a choice but to help him. It only showed her how much she was unprepared, how sure of herself she was. How much she underestimated him.

A mistake she wouldn't make again.

Tonight Shado told her about home, how nothing really changed under her absence. She told her that she'd contacted with Felicity's mother in Las Vegas and helped her out as much as she could. Shado felt guilty when Felicity disappeared and she wanted to do something to ease the pain she felt in her heart. She'd lost two people she cared about the most - her father and her best friend - Felicity could understand how painful and lonely that had to be for her.

Donna Smoak hadn't been herself after her daughter went missing; losing her job in a casino and getting involved with some shady people was only the beginning of her getting off the rails. Shado had intervened before things got out of hand, but the damage was already done. Felicity's mother had been blaming herself for letting her daughter out of her sight, for letting her go into the world unprepared and unsafe where she lost her.

Felicity wanted to laugh. Her mother started caring about her only after she realized she would never see her again. Before that Felicity was just a disappointment, a reminder of her husband that had left when Felicity was still just a little girl. She would rather spend a whole day serving drinks to spoiled billionaires than spend an hour with her daughter watching cartoons or do whatever a normal mother and daughter did.

Felicity might not get along with her mother, she might even hate her sometimes, but there was a bigger part of her - a better part - which was grateful that Shado was there to help her when Felicity couldn't. She still loved her mother and would do anything to protect her even when their relationship had left Felicity more broken than she cared to admit.

The conversation shifted after that. Felicity didn't know how that happened, maybe it was because Shado brought back the painful memories or maybe she just needed someone to talk to about this, but one moment they were lying there in silence, letting the unspoken memories flow through the space between them and the next moment Felicity was mentioning Oliver.

She didn't think about it, she just open up and the words were leaving her mouth like they craved to be heard by someone. She told her how she met him, how she tried to help him and how he listened to her. And it was so easy and it left her calm. It helped her accept that he was gone and he was just another passing person she met on the Island. Another ghost that would only haunt her memories now.

"Was he handsome?" Shado asked quietly with a teasing edge to her voice and somehow the heavy moment they shared shifted into something else.

"Shado!" Felicity scolded her, but she wasn't really angry with her friend.

"What?" Shado turned on her side to have a clear look at her, "You're telling me how great and perfect he was and you expect me not to ask about the important parts?"

She shook her head at Shado's words, "He wasn't perfect... Far from it actually," she said with a sigh, remembering the story he told her about himself. She didn't have to ask to know he was spoiled and maybe a little selfish and that he used women. But that was before the Island. He was a different person then - just like Felicity - and she couldn't judge him for who he was before, "He had his demons like every one of us and I didn't know him that well to tell if he really was a good man, but..." she paused not sure how to explain how he made her feel.

"But it was enough to make you care," Shado finished for her, her voice full of understanding. Felicity gave a small nod, agreeing with her.

This whole situation with Oliver was making her feel stupid. She shouldn't care so easily about complete stranger, but feeling this emptiness every day in her heart was making it hard to live with herself. And the look in Oliver's blue eyes was enough to make her believe that she could take a leap and trust him. His eyes were good, maybe tainted with darkness, but they showed her that he - like her - was just trying to find his way home. And that couldn't make him look bad in her eyes.

"So... was he handsome? Or not?" Shado pressed again after a moment and Felicity snorted at her persistence.

"He was okay," she said briefly, not wanting to dig a hole under herself.

A couple of months ago her mouth would run away from her and she would tell Shado exactly what she thought about him and how one look from him stirred something inside her stomach, but now she learned to control that part of her. It didn't work all the time, but she could keep her dignity in the most important moments.

"That's it? Just okay?" Shado pressed further, and was that a hint of disappointed in her voice Felicity was hearing?

She sighed, exasperated, "Fine. He was more than okay. Besides the bad haircut he was actually quite handsome," she admitted, rolling her eyes in the dark. This was so not the way she imagined this conversation to go, "He had those intense blue eyes and it didn't look bad when he smiled." She stopped talking for a second, thinking if it was a good idea to say the things she wanted to leave only for herself, but her mouth decided to go against her wishes, "He made me smile."

It was barely a whisper, words said so quietly that for a moment she thought she hadn't said them at all. But then Shado was shifting closer to her and Felicity could feel her gaze on her face and just like that she knew she had said those words out loud. Her admission sounded deeper than she wanted to show and she felt a wave of embarrassment flowing through her, making her wonder how could she care about such a silly thing in a place like this.

Felicity cleared her throat awkwardly, trying to get rid of the heaviness from her voice, "Don't get me wrong, I smile in here, but mostly when I do something better than others," she explained quickly and then searched for the right words that wouldn't make her feel stupid, "Oliver made me smile honestly for the first time in a long time, Shado. He said something funny or completely out of place and it was just too genuine in a dark place like this to not make me crack a smile at him... so there's that."

Her words were hanging in the air above them, making Felicity uncomfortable when she wondered what Shado could be thinking about her now. If she saw that she wasn't the same Felicity she met that day a year ago, if she saw the dark edge Felicity struggled with every second of the day. That she might be broken beyond repair and that maybe Shado didn't want to be involved with someone like her anymore, because helping Felicity could pull her down with her and then both of them would be lost.

It wasn't easy for her to say this. She shared some parts of her life with Oliver, but she didn't really care if he would look at her in a different way. He was a stranger and he didn't know her before, he didn't know how good and bright she once was. Shado knew her inside and out, she helped her get out of her comfort zone and try things she would never try before. She heard her terrible and long babbles and laugh at her when she saw how childishly in awe Felicity was when she learned that Shado knew Ju-jitsu.

And this Felicity was much darker and different from the person she once was.

But when Felicity looked at her and Shado smiled gently with sadness present in her eyes she understood that even if Shado saw all of that she didn't think any less of her. Shado saw her and she accepted her the way she was now and suddenly Felicity didn't know anymore why she would even think that Shado could act any different towards her.

"How did he die?" Shado's uncertain voice broke through the heavy thoughts that crowded Felicity's mind.

The image of Yao Fei choking Oliver and then throwing his lifeless body to the ground made her close her eyes and exhale long, "It's better if you don't know that, Shado."

Felicity might blame Yao Fei and she might be angry at him for what he did, but she wasn't cruel to tell his daughter about this. Shado loved her father beyond anything and Felicity didn't want to be responsible for changing that, for telling her that her father killed people and that maybe she didn't know him that well.

But on the other hand who was she to judge him? Yao Fei was on Lian Yu years longer than Felicity. If Fyers could turn five months of Purgatory into hell for her, Felicity could only imagine what all those years were like for Shado's father. He'd seen death and suffering much longer before she did and how could that not change who he was? She barely recognized herself now so how could she expect that he would still be the same man Shado loved so much?

She couldn't judge him for dealing with this the only way he could, but it didn't make it easier to look at him every day.

"Why do you keep so many things from me, Felicity? You know you can trust me, right?" Shado asked and there was something strange in her voice, like she was afraid that Felicity actually wasn't aware of that.

Felicity's head turned slightly on the old pillow, her eyes watching Shado steadily, searching for something that would explain the inner turmoil her friend was going through. She knew that keeping secrets from her was like telling her that she wasn't worthy of her trust, but Felicity felt like keeping some things from her would make her safe. It wouldn't change her and make her the way Felicity was now. Maybe it was stupid, but it was the only way she knew that would keep her from losing herself to the Island.

"It's not about trust Shado. This Island... this Island changes people," she started slowly. She wanted to make her understand, but she wasn't sure if she was able to do that, "It makes people selfish and at some point they just stop caring. They don't care who they are becoming or what will happen to them because they don't see the point in that anymore. One day it just goes away and you're left in the dark letting everyone else decide for you."

The tent was quiet for a moment and Felicity saw that Shado was starting to understand what she meant. She was starting to see that Felicity was trying to keep her from changing just like she did. That she was only trying to protect her innocence.

"This Island made me someone I'm not proud of," Felicity continued looking at the roof of the tent, "I did some questionable things and I saw some horrible things. People were tortured and killed in front of me. I still hear their screams in my nightmares and sometimes - sometimes it's my screams that I'm hearing," Shado grabbed her hand that was lying on her stomach and squeezed it tightly. She saw her scars the first night they'd shared Felicity's tent and she didn't ask, but she had to suspect how she got them, "I dream about my first days in here, about the pain of being tortured and everything just blurs together. The pain and the emptiness. I feel like I'm losing my mind," she admitted, her voice broken and she was crying again, the tears slipping slowly on the side of her cheeks.

Suddenly she felt angry with herself. What was going on with her lately? She acted like it was her first days in here again - all broken and afraid of everything. And that wasn't her. She wasn't like that anymore. She was strong and she was capable of keeping herself together. There was no room for crying, she had to focus on what still mattered.

Felicity wiped the tears with the back of her hand quickly. She sniffled and took in a deep breath, getting back her composure. She looked at Shado again, but this time she didn't linger to look for something that would tell her what she was thinking.

She cleared her throat before she told Shado the rest, "I'm not going to let this happen to you too. So yes, I will keep some things from you, but not because I don't trust you," she shook her head, "Because this is the only way I know how to protect you." Shado's head bowed and she sighed. Felicity knew that she didn't like her way of thinking, but at least she understood and hopefully she would let it go for now, "When I met Oliver..." Shado looked at her again when she mentioned him, "I realized that I can't live like that anymore. That I need to start fighting for something before it's going to be too late. So I'm doing this now. I'm fighting and I'm going to get you out of here. No matter what it takes."

Shado took her words in, Felicity could see how she was thinking about what she'd said; how her face changed when she understood what she'd meant and Felicity felt relieved when she saw that she wouldn't argue with her about that. But then her eyes changed like she realized something and then her determined face turned to look at Felicity.

"You're going to get _us_ out of here. And I'm going to help," she said firmly, not leaving her a place to argue.

Felicity blinked at her when Shado again proved that she was more perceptive than she let people to believe. She noticed that Felicity mentioned only her in what she wanted to do and she didn't like that Felicity wasn't thinking about herself. But she couldn't tell Shado that somehow she felt that she wouldn't make it off the Island. That she would die here.

Felicity opened her mouth to say something, but Shado simply lied back on the cot and closed her eyes, letting her know the conversation was over for tonight. She watched her for a moment; the shadows falling on her face making her look much older than she was, her breathing slowing down as she was falling asleep like the conversation between them didn't even happen.

So Felicity shifted, lying on her side and closed her eyes as well.

* * *

The next day she was woken up pretty early. Alan barged into her tent with the first rays of sunlight falling through the tear in the tent's material. She had to move to the valley - the final test was coming and then it was just a matter of time before Fyers would use the launcher.

Before she left she decided to tell Shado what was going on - not everything, but the parts she should know about. The tough night she had brought her some clarity, and she decided that if Shado wanted to help she should know what they were up against. So she told her about Fyers operation, about the suspicion of what he wanted to do with the launcher and she told her she wanted to stop him. She told her she had a plan, but she didn't tell her what it was. She trusted her, but she didn't want to risk that somehow Fyers would find out that she sabotaged the ignition chip.

Shado understood that, but she asked Felicity to promise that she would be safe, that she wouldn't do anything reckless and Felicity couldn't lie straight to her face. So she told her the truth and despite that Shado didn't like it, she understood again.

The chip was working without objections when she began checking the launcher. It reset every time she unplugged the circuit board and it activated the launcher every time she granted the access with her code. It looked like her plan was going to work.

Felicity was checking the data on the dashboard when a truck drove to the valley and stopped a couple of feet from the launcher. The team of mercenaries that came here with her moved to unload some crates from the back of the truck. When one of them was passing by her she was able to see the small warning sign on the front of the crate he was carrying.

_Explosives._

Felicity's brows furrowed in confusion. Why would Fyers need explosives if he already had the launcher? Was he planning something else she didn't know about? What if he had a backup plan in case the launcher failed?

The questions were swirling inside her head making her see she wasn't prepared for something like that. She never wondered even for a second what would happen after the launcher wouldn't fire the missile. She didn't expect that she would come out of this alive when Fyers would learn it was her fault, but she didn't expect even more that he could have insurance in case something went wrong.

Felicity looked at the launcher. Somehow it felt like with every second closer to the day everything would end, with every new doubt that appeared in Felicity's head, the dark green metal giant looked even more deadly than before. She looked at the dashboard to see if the new data finished updating, but she was too distracted right now to really focus on the task.

She was trying to figure out what to do about the obstacle in her plan when a yell from up front caught her attention.

"Hey!" a male voice called out and every mercenary in the valley turned to see what was going on, "I found the intruder while I was circling the perimeter!"

Felicity moved from the control panel to see the man who was walking towards them, a spark of curiosity appearing in her eyes because she could swear she knew that voice. It was strangely familiar, but she couldn't remember where she had heard it before.

The voice belonged to a mercenary with balaclava pulled down on his face like the rest of his colleagues. He was leading another man in front of him - the intruder - and his hands were bonded behind his back. The intruder stumbled when the mercenary shoved him to move faster and before she had a chance to take a closer look at him, one of the mercenaries standing close to her turned to his teammates with fury in his eyes.

"It's Wilson!" he hissed and then looked at the intruder, palming his rifle, "You killed a few of my friends, you son of a bitch!"

The curiosity Felicity felt reached its peaks. Standing in front of her was no other than Billy Wintergreen's ex-partner, the man she should be thanking for killing her tormentor.

A self-confident look appeared on his face and she had a second to wonder why wasn't he afraid of what would they do to him, before they heard him say, "And I'm gonna kill a few more!"

She would appreciate the deep raspy voice and the Australian accent he certainly was rocking if his hands - that she could swear were tied up a moment before - didn't move from behind his back, showing two guns he was holding tightly in his grip.

He started shooting to the mercenaries before she even realized what was happening.

Felicity didn't end up with her body full of holes only because the still rational thinking part of her brain knew she should duck when there was shooting involved. She jumped to the side, landing painfully on her back behind the launcher and for the first time she was actually grateful that she was standing close to this piece of metal. The shooting stopped abruptly just as it started; the loud sounds of bullets being fired from the barrel echoing in the valley around her.

Felicity wasn't sure at which point she'd closed her eyes, but when she opened them again she was greeted with the sight of mercenaries lying dead on the ground. She crawled on her back to get away from the sight in front of her, but more importantly to get away from the man who killed the entire team of mercenaries within seconds. If she didn't move he would find her and see that there was still someone his bullets had missed.

She almost reached the other side of the launcher, but she wasn't fast enough. She heard footsteps in front of her and her heart was beating so hard she could feel it in her throat. The panic burst inside her when the man appeared in front of her abruptly and he pointed the gun at her head.

The breath caught in her throat and she stilled, fearing that if she moved even just an inch he would shoot her. She looked into his calculating black eyes, not caring how much fear he had to see in her own gaze. His eyes were moving over her body slowly, probably checking how big of a threat she was. He didn't look like he would shoot her just yet and knowing that let her eyes take him in as quickly as she could.

He was tall and big, his muscles well hidden underneath the thick grey clothing he was wearing. There was a scar running under his right eye making him look more frightening. He had olive skin, thick scruff and black hair that was standing in every possible direction. He was clad in a bulletproof vest and there were various weapons strapped all over his clothing.

Her eyes connected back with his and she was surprised when she saw a smirk forming on his lips. He could easily kill her and yet he was still waiting for something.

"Slade, don't!" the same familiar voice from before rang between them and then a mercenary appeared by the man's side, his hand shooting to the gun that was still pointed at her head and firmly pushing it to the side, away from her.

Slade rolled his eyes at the man beside him and then put the gun back to the holster he had strapped to his side. Felicity breathed out slowly in relief when the main threat was eliminated, but the anxiety didn't left her body knowing that she was still in danger. She still didn't know what was happening and what would they do with her now.

If she was surprised before when she saw a smirk on the Australian's face, she was shocked even more when the man who was threatening her moments earlier was now extending his hand to her like he wanted to help her get up from the ground.

Felicity looked at his outstretched hand warily because why would he want to help her? Shouldn't he want to kill her or something? She heard him chuckle lowly in his throat and that made her look at him again. The look on his face told her he knew exactly what she was thinking, but it didn't make her feel uncomfortable. Something in his face that was equally terrifying and intriguing told her that maybe she could trust him in this particular moment.

When he pointedly looked down at his hand and then at her face again, her hand moved on its own accord, but it paused millimeters from touching his skin. He saw her hesitation, but he didn't do anything like grabbing her hand to end this game between them; he just patiently waited for her to close the gap between their hands. When she finally gathered enough courage and put her hand in his, his calloused fingers closed around her hand without finesse and then he was pulling her up from the ground unceremoniously before she even knew what he was doing.

She pulled her hand back from his grip when she stood steadily on her feet again and she took a step back from him, needing to feel the safe distance between them. He stood without moving, his eyes focused on the mercenary beside him and her own gaze turned to see with who she was up against.

The mercenary's eyes jumped from the man beside him to lock with hers and she stopped breathing because she knew those eyes. But it was impossible; the intense blue orbs she knew were long dimmed by death. She had to be seeing things; the adrenaline was messing with her head that's all.

But when he spoke again, the deep and rough voice she was familiar with reached her ears, her head started to shake from side to side, not wanting to falsely believe that it was possible for him to be standing in front of her very much alive.

"I told you," the mercenary said and then reached for the end of his balaclava, pulling it up on his head to reveal his face to her. She pulled in a ragged breath when the last illusions disappeared as she saw the familiar stubble covered face and blue eyes glued to her, watching her with uncertainty and anticipation, gauging her reaction to what she was seeing, "She's my friend."

Oliver was alive. Oliver was _alive_.

He was alive and he was standing in front of her, watching her like they'd seen each other yesterday, not two weeks ago when she'd seen him die.

She saw a small smile forming on his lips, his eyes sparkling at her like that day in the cage and in the next moment she was jumping into his arms, taking both of them completely by surprise.

He took a step back when she collided with him, the air leaving his lungs on a whoosh. He must have not expect her to jump him like that, but she could care less - she was too happy and relieved to care how it had to look for Slade who had to be watching the two of them now. Oliver was freakishly tall and she had noticed this only now when she had to stand on her tiptoes to fully lock her arms around his neck.

When Oliver finally moved his hands on her back to return her hug, she breathed out and it felt like all the dilemmas, all the mixed emotions she felt when he was gone, disappeared with the air that left her lungs. He smelled of wet forest and sweat, but she didn't care because he squeezed her to his chest and in this moment she felt like everything was going to be alright. She held onto this feeling maybe a moment longer than she should have, but again - she didn't care.

A throat being cleared behind her brought her back to earth and she withdrew from Oliver's arms reluctantly. Slade wasn't looking at her; his eyes focused on Oliver and his lips were turned slightly, forming a cocky smirk like he knew something they weren't aware of. Oliver gazed at him meaningful, silently telling him to keep whatever he wanted to say for himself and Slade only shrugged, turning away from them and giving them some privacy.

Oliver's right hand rested on her shoulder as she met his eyes again and this time his smile was fuller, dimples showing and drawing her eyes dangerously close to his lips where she totally shouldn't be looking at all.

"I thought you were dead," she said breathlessly; her lips mirroring his smile.

"I'm not that easy to kill," his hand squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and then his eyes softened, taking her in and looking at her like he was happy to see her too, "I'm glad you're okay."

Felicity swallowed hard at the gentleness in his voice. Maybe she wasn't the only one who worried, who cared. Her head moved down, giving him a small nod to show she understood. The way his eyes held hers was loaded with something heavy, something that shouldn't be there at all. Something that kept her awake at night, trying to understand what that meant.

If it wasn't for Slade who moved to the crates with explosives Felicity would still stood there, watching Oliver and trying to unravel the sudden feelings she kept discovering while being in his presence. She felt herself blush lightly; knowing that this wasn't the best moment to wonder about any of this and she was sure Oliver noticed that when his eyes lingered on her cheeks for a moment and then he looked her in the eyes again with a knowing look before he turned around from her slowly to join his companion.

It was then Felicity focused on her surroundings again and she realized she still didn't know why they were here and why they had killed the whole mercenary team.

A screeching sound from the side made her look in that direction. Slade was prying open one of the wooden crates and then he took some of the explosives out, handing them to Oliver who stood by his side fidgeting a little. Both of them looked like they were in a hurry to do something she didn't understand yet.

"What are you doing?" she asked them, standing on the side as they emptied the other crates and started placing the explosives around the launcher.

"We're gonna blow this piece of crap before Fyers uses it to start a war," Slade answered her, growling when another crate didn't want to open and he had to break through the wood to get to the explosives.

Felicity looked at him, taken aback. They wanted to blow up the launcher? Well, this certainly would be the easiest and the most effective way to stop Fyers' operation before it was too late. But it was risky and it would definitely catch Fyers' attention because explosions weren't something you could do quietly and without anyone noticing. And staying off the hook was something Felicity was trying to do at least for some time to have a chance to take Shado away from danger.

"Are you gonna help, sweetheart? Or are you going to just stand there?" Slade asked, his raspy voice pulling her out of her thoughts.

Blowing up the launcher was risky, but if someone else would do it, someone who was Fyers' enemy, it would give her the time she needed; it would consume Fyers' all attention and she would have a free hand to do anything she wanted.

Felicity moved, walking up to Slade; her body radiating with determination she hadn't felt before when she was trying to stop Fyers alone. Maybe this would work. Maybe this time she wouldn't feel ridiculous for wanting to stop someone much powerful than her.

Slade had to see that on her face because he grinned self-confidently like before he killed the whole team of mercenaries and then he handed her the explosives, "Place these under the launcher. Do it quickly, backup will be running here any second."

For the next few moments she worked with them, putting the explosives in places the launcher was the strongest, where it had the most important parts. Oliver was working quickly, focused on his task. She was glad to see that. He might not know everything, but his survival instinct was strong enough to guide him through the worst situations. That was good, he was already better than she was when she'd accepted her new life and her role in Fyers' operation. Oliver would do just fine on the Island even if she wouldn't be there to help him.

" _We're sixty seconds out from the launcher,"_ someone said through the radio standing by the dashboard and all of them stilled for a second, looking at the radio like it just destroyed the whole plan they had.

"Set the final charges, we have to blow it!" Slade was the first to move, ducking under the chassis and placing the explosives there.

If the response team was this close to their location, they didn't have enough time to blow the launcher up. Even if they made it in time, the team would see Felicity working with Slade and Oliver and the whole cover would go to hell. They needed to think of something else. What was the only thing that could stop the launcher from working within seconds?

Of course. The circuit board.

Oliver looked at Felicity with question in his eyes when he saw she wasn't helping, but his face changed a second later like he knew she figured out something that would help them.

"I think I have a better idea," Felicity said, opening up the control panel.

Oliver put the explosives back to the crate and moved over, stepping behind her and watched as she moved some wires aside.

"What are you doing?" Slade asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice, getting up from the ground and walking over to them.

He tried to protest when she grabbed the right wire, but she knew what she was doing - she had built this damn thing after all. His protests died on his tongue when she unplugging the circuit board from the panel. She faced him then, his eyes already focused on her and he was gazing at her like she did something wrong.

"Take the circuit board," she told him keeping her voice firm, showing him that she wasn't stupid, but he just kept watching her, stubbornly trying to prove he knew better. She sighed in exasperation and looked at Oliver who unlike Slade watched her with complete trust written in his eyes, "Computers will not work without them and neither will this," she waved the circuit board in front of them to prove a point.

She saw the moment Slade realized she was right. The frown wavering on his face and then his black eyes brightened like she gave him something he needed to feel that they were moving ahead of Fyers.

Slade laughed shortly and then grabbed her shoulders, "Leverage!" he breathed out, pleased with her idea and then grabbed the radio from the panel.

Felicity smiled slightly at Oliver and handed him the circuit board. When she was turning away his fingers closed around her hand, sending sparks down her arm. She looked up at his face, craning her neck. He really towered over her.

"Come with us," he asked urgently.

"I can't," she said, shaking her head at his request. Oliver furrowed his brows at her, not understanding her refusal, "Fyers will know I helped you," Oliver sighed and she could see he didn't like the idea of leaving her behind, but she couldn't risk that Fyers would kill Shado because of her.

"She's right, kid," Slade called from behind them and she slipped her fingers from Oliver's hand reluctantly, "It's better if she stays here, she can help us from the inside."

Oliver watched her for a moment like he saw through her false bravery. She really wanted to go with them. Unfortunately what she wanted and what she needed to do were two very different things.

Slade turned around, ready to leave, but Felicity's voice stopped him in his track, "I need you to do something for me."

Her voice was firm and when he looked at her she sent him a meaningful look, and somehow, the moment he saw the expression on her face he knew exactly what she wanted him to do.

"Oh, hell no!" he protested, his face twisting with disgust at the mere thought of her request, "I'm not gonna hit a woman!"

"What?!" Oliver asked incredulously, his eyes snapping back to her.

It's not like Felicity wanted to take a punch in the face, but this was the only way they could sell this. Fyers would know what happened the moment he saw her alive and without a scratch. He wasn't stupid to believe they left her unharmed without a reason.

"Look," she said to Oliver gently, "No one dislikes this idea more than me, but Fyers will know something's wrong the moment he sees me being the only one alive in the valley," she caught his eyes, when he wouldn't look at her and she said the only thing that could convince Oliver to agree with her, "If you want to help me, one of you has to do this."

Oliver looked at her like she just kicked a puppy. She knew he wanted to help her and right now he would do anything to do that so she used that against him. She knew it was a low blow, but there was more at stakes than caring if she hurt his feelings.

He turned to Slade, their eyes having a silent conversation she wasn't a part of, but whatever they decided on with a couple of looks made Slade walk back to her.

"Alright. I will do this," he said, but his voice and the look on his face didn't leave her any illusions that he wasn't thrilled about what he was going to do next.

Felicity straightened her back and lifted her chin up, readying herself for the pain that was about to come, "Make it believable."

She didn't look at Oliver; she didn't want to see the look on his face right now. Her eyes locked on Slade's and she nodded once, telling him she was ready. His eyes flashed with admiration and maybe even with respect and that were the only things that made this whole idea better for her.

Slade nodded back at her and breathed out sharply, "I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said truthfully and then before she even blinked his fist was flying straight towards her face.

She winced at the pain that shot from her right eye down her face and the impact of his blow sent her stumbling to the ground. She landed on her side, one hand keeping her from fully falling onto the ground and the other cradling her face. She was trying hard to stop herself from crying out when the pain hit her in full force.

"Felicity..." she could hear Oliver's pained voice somewhere close to her, but she couldn't look at him now. If she looked at him she would probably break or do something stupid that would jeopardize this whole plan.

The sound of trucks driving to the valley made her act before it was too late and they caught all of them.

"Go!" she yelled at Oliver, her voice pleading him to do what she asked. She couldn't see his face, but his legs were standing hard on the ground, like he didn't intend to leave her alone, "Oliver, please!"

She yelled again this time looking at him and he had to see how terrified she was now because he sent her last long and full of something she couldn't recognize look and then he was turning and running away with Slade a couple of feet in front of him.

Felicity breathed out in relief at the thought that he would be safe for now and then she winced at the pain around her eye, the tears she was trying to hide from Oliver finally spilling down her cheeks.

It was time to play her part and God help her if she didn't manage to fool Fyers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So... That happened.
> 
> It looks like we have everyone in the game now! I'm excited to show you how things will go from here. How these characters will deal with everything that will be thrown at them, how some relationships will evolve and how some will have to see if they can make it through the worst. Remember this: whenever you feel like it's gonna be okay better prepare for a big drama coming ahead. That's my only warning for you.
> 
> It's funny how everyone knows what happened in the flashbacks but no one beside me knows how throwing Felicity into the mix can/will change them. It can be the little things or it can be the whole storylines and I think maybe that's the most interesting thing about this story. You know what will happen, but yet you're not prepared for some things. At least I hope I managed to write it like that. :)
> 
> Right now I don't have much more to say, especially about Felicity and Oliver, but with chapter 6, and so one, there's gonna come a big storyline for them, things will change so I'll explain some stuff then.
> 
> I hope you liked chapter 5 and please, let me know what you think if you feel like it. I'll really appreciate it! :)
> 
> Find me on twitter: angelica_fit or on tumblr: http://seetheskyaboveus.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or the characters. The idea for this story is mine.  
> Soundtrack: http://8tracks.com/seetheskyaboveus/i-found-love-where-it-wasn-t-supposed-to-be-soundtrack-1  
> You can also read this story on FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11129309/1/I-Found-Love-Where-It-Wasn-t-Supposed-To-Be  
> Warnings: Graphic Descriptions Of Violence, Torture, Possible Mature/Explicit Content In Later Chapters
> 
> A/N: Chapter 6 is here! And with him a warning for you: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF VIOLENCE, TORTURE.  
> As usual, thank you so much for your comments, kudos and bookmarks that helped me get through this week. More notes at the end of chapter and now just enjoy it!

* * *

_**Chapter Six** _

* * *

"Where is she?!" Fyers yelled, throwing the flap of the operation station tent open, entering inside.

The fury was visibly flashing in his eyes and when one of his mercenaries pointed at Felicity who stood in the back with hands moving across her face to soothe the zinging waves of pain, his eyes instantly zeroed on her. His body was oozing with tension like he was moments from snapping and doing something really bad. Felicity immediately knew that somehow he had to learn the truth.

Earlier, when they found her still lying on the ground by the launcher she'd spun the story how Slade and Oliver ambushed the whole team, forcing her to give them the circuit board. She told Fyers that she was alive only because of the response team that arrived to the valley earlier than Slade and Oliver had been expecting, forcing them to flee. To her sincere gratitude it seemed that Fyers had bought her story even if he was extremely furious about this sudden mishap in his operation.

Fyers moved his people to the valley, creating emergency stations where he ordered Felicity to figure out something that would make the launcher work without the circuit board or at least to find a way to track Slade and Oliver. She tried to explain to him there wasn't anything she could do now - without the circuit board they were running behind the schedule as it was, but at this point Fyers didn't want to hear any excuses.

Every mercenary he had under his command was working like never before, searching the forest for any traces of Slade and Oliver. The whole communication station team was brought together to work on finding the alternative output with Felicity in the lead as she was the one who created the major parts of the circuit board. They were at it for hours, it was already dark outside and Felicity hadn't seen Shado since she'd left her in the tent this morning. She worried about her and hoped that she was safe with Yao Fei close by, but she couldn't be sure.

And now Fyers came back from inspecting the launcher on his own and it looked like he might have found things Felicity tried to cover up.

Fyers advanced on her, stepping into her personal space and Felicity had to take a step back to look at his face without being too close to him.

"I warned you to not be so sure of yourself. I told you to not underestimate me!" he yelled at her, getting up in her face, leaving little space between them and he was absolutely furious, "But you always know better. Well, perhaps this time you will learn from your mistakes!"

Felicity was unable to move, fear locking her in place and she could feel as the cold dread filled her veins, "What are you talking about?" she asked in a small and shaky voice.

"I'm talking about this!" his hand was suddenly in front of her face and she could see a small plastic disk held between his thumb and forefinger, "When I brought the launcher on Lian Yu, I took precautions to keep it as safe as possible. There was a camera installed in the control panel," Felicity took in a sharp breath, her eyes widening in horror and there was a glint in Fyers eyes when he saw her reaction, "It monitored everything that was happening around the launcher and imagine my surprise when the feed from the incident showed you handing over the circuit board _willingly_."

Felicity shook her head in shock, her mouth slightly open. She couldn't believe this. How could this be happening? How could she not know about the camera? Fyers knew everything now; he knew she'd helped Oliver, he knew she was working behind his back. She was digging a hole under herself all this time and she didn't see it until it was too late.

"You lied to me, Ms. Smoak!" Fyers hissed at her, his face was twisted in anger and Felicity could only watch him, fearing of what he would do to her now, "You helped Slade; you were helping Mr. Queen since the moment you saw him and don't even try to deny it, your behavior from that night when Yao Fei incompetently killed him was speaking for itself." He took a step back from her, throwing the disk on the table nearby, scoffing when it clattered against a metal box someone was working on, "I made a mistake when I ignored it back then, but now I see everything clearly and I can assure you..." his body turned back to her and she stopped breathing when she saw his eyes. She had never seen him looking so feral and deadly like now when he was piercing her with his dark eyes, "You will regret that a thought to betray me ever crossed your mind."

When his threat reached her ears and her working on high gears brain understood what he meant, she knew she wouldn't get out of this alive.

"Take her!" Fyers ordered someone, and in the next moment there were two strong pair of hands clamping on her forearms, and she only had a second to register two mercenaries stepping behind her before they were dragging her outside the tent with Fyers leading them.

The valley was brightly lit by the lamps connected to the generator and the always burning barrels with fire. Mercenaries were walking around, probably fulfilling some kind of orders and some of them were watching her being dragged behind Fyers, but she didn't care about that. She couldn't understand how things could get out of hands so quickly, how she could think her plan would ever work.

Fyers was going to kill her now, she knew that for sure. She didn't know what would happen to Shado and the thought that she wouldn't keep her promise to get her out of this forsaken Island hurt more than she thought it would. She failed again and now she would die, leaving the only person she still cared about in Fyers hands.

At least the launcher wasn't fully operational; it was the only thing she didn't completely screw up.

Felicity tried to get away from the strong grip the mercenaries had on her; she pulled her arms, she trashed around, but it only made them hold her harder while the panic found its way into her bones. She was terrified. She knew this would eventually happen, but knowing that didn't make it any easier.

Fyers stopped abruptly, the launcher in front of them in its whole damned glory and Felicity was pushed forcefully forward and then to the ground. She landed on her knees, wincing when the gravel on the ground dug painfully through her military pants into her skin. She tried to calm her breathing, but the heart beating wildly inside her chest didn't want to let her.

For a moment Fyers just stood there with his back to her, watching the launcher intently and then he turned; the fire flashing in his eyes even more and she saw as something snapped inside him. He pounced to her before she had time to blink and he grabbed her by the lapels of her jacket, hauling her forward and she would crash into him if the mercenaries weren't still holding her down.

"You think what Mr. Wintergreen did to you hurt?" his hot breath fanned across her face, "You think this hurts?!" he yelled, grabbing the injured side of her face and she flinched, closing her eyes, but no sound escaped her, "I will show you what real pain feels like!"

His voice was full of venom and that made her feel terrified even more than before. Fyers was never like that. He was short tempered, but he had never lost control like now and that couldn't mean anything good for her.

He pushed her away from him and she swayed to the side, whimpering quietly at the new dose of pain she felt under her eye. He stalked away from her, stopping in front of a barrel and he lifted his face towards the dark sky, breathing out heavily like he was fighting some kind of internal battle. He chuckled darkly under his breath then and reached for something that was sticking out from the flames in the barrel.

When Felicity saw a hot and brightly orange lit rebar her breath caught in her throat, her body froze for a second as she understood what that meant. She'd seen that too many times before to not know how agonizing the experience would be.

She started trashing again, grunting when the mercenaries held her down, but she didn't care that she didn't have a chance to escape from what Fyers wanted to do to her. The adrenaline and the great fear she felt was forcing her to try. That was all that was left for her.

Fyers turned back to them, holding the rebar in front of him and watching the hot end of it with strange fascination. Suddenly Felicity understood why she could never tell what Fyers would do next - he was completely crazy, the look in his eyes was enough to tell her that. Crazy people were unpredictable just like him.

"Bare her shoulder," he said loudly without emotions, showing her the monster he really was.

Felicity flinched away from hands that reached for the zipper on her jacket, but another set of hands stilled her movements, twisting her arms painfully. She threw her head to the back with as much force as she could muster and the crunching sound and yelp she heard next were enough to tell her she managed to break the mercenary's nose.

Her satisfaction was short-lived when a pair of hands twisted her arms harder; making her gasp in pain and the other set of hands holding her jacket pulled the zipper down, opening it and moving the left side of the thick material away from her shoulder. The cool air crawled under the unzipped jacket quickly, making her shiver and then the hands were back, ripping the side of her shirt, leaving her shoulder and neck bare for Fryers' eyes. Goosebumps appeared on her skin, but she knew they would disappear the moment the hot rebar would touch her cold skin.

"You shouldn't have helped the enemy, Ms. Smoak," Fyers stalked slowly to her, still focused on the rebar, "Two year operation fell apart because of you. You will pay for that now and when I finish with you..." he shook his head, leaning over to her with a pleased smirk playing on his lips, "When I finish with you, Yao Fei's daughter will be next."

He straightened and moved with the rebar closer to her. Felicity leaned away, still trying to get free from the grip, but the mercenary who ripped her shirt grabbed her neck and pulled her head to the side, giving Fyers easier access to her neck. The rebar was dangerously close from touching her skin now and she could feel the heat that radiated from it.

She knew she should be thinking about Shado and what Fyers said he would do to her, but her mind was focused only on one thing. Her eyes frozen on the bright orange tip moving slowly down on her. Her chest moving heavily up and down from the effort that suddenly was breathing. Her eyes opened so wide that they hurt. The agonizingly slow anticipation of the pain that was about to come was worse than anything else she went through before.

And she couldn't take it anymore.

"Stop!" her terrified yell was heard loudly in the valley and she hated how weak she sounded. She worked so hard to feel strong again and a few minutes were enough to strip her away from that power.

Fyers' hand stilled for a second. A second where she thought he would change his mind. A second where her heart stopped, waiting for his next move. A second where she saw the wicked glint in his eyes and the corners of his lips tipping upwards.

And then the rebar was closing the remaining space between them and the hot tip landed on the skin above her collarbone.

Felicity screamed.

The pain shot through her in long agonizing whips, starting in the place the rebar was burning into her skin. It seeped into her veins and spread like a poison, filling her whole, making her forget about anything else and focus only on the burning sensation. Her skin was sizzling where the rebar pressed on her and the smell of burning flesh made her scream only more.

Fyers was right. The pain was like nothing she ever felt before. It took over her completely and she had no idea what was happening around her, her senses focused only on the raw feeling of the rebar heating her skin painfully.

But then something happened. Somehow a short, barely heard beep managed to break through the agonizing pain she felt and then she heard a voice that in that moment sounded like heaven to her.

"Fyers!" Oliver said through the radio and in the next second the rebar was pulled away from her body.

Felicity cried out when her skin was pulled with the rebar and then it moved back in place on her collarbone. The hands holding her down let her go and she fell forward, barely catching herself before she fell on her burned shoulder. Her breath was labored, the pain still pulsing through her and she could feel tears streaming down her cheeks.

She didn't see how Fyers reached for the radio strapped to his leg, but she could clearly hear as he answered in annoyed tone, "Mr. Queen, I thought I might be hearing from you."

"We have the circuit board," she heard Oliver say and she snorted through the pain and tears.

She pushed her lower body from the ground and sat on her heels, lifting her head up to look at Fyers. He burned her with a hot rebar and he would probably kill her next and yet all she wanted to do now was laugh at him. It might have been too late for her already, but Oliver and Slade were still out there with the circuit board in hand, making Fyers' plan unreachable. No matter how she would end she was a winner in here and from the way Fyers narrowed his eyes at her he had to know that as well.

"I am well aware of that," he answered, still looking at her, "In fact I'm dealing with your friend right now," and to emphasize his words, he swung the rebar and it landed on her skin again, just below the place it was before.

Felicity cried out, her body bending away from the burning sensation. She could hear Oliver yelling something through the radio, but it was dulled by the pain she was feeling. It didn't hurt as much as before, the rebar was cooler than when it was taken straight from the embers and the pressure was short, but it was a significant warning Fyers gave her and Oliver to stop testing him.

Felicity took in deep breaths, trying to think about something other than the burning sensation she felt in two places on her skin. She whimpered when the cool air caressed her wounds, making it easier to breathe through the pain.

Fyers threw the rebar carelessly to the ground and scoffed at her, like she did something to annoy him and then moved the radio closer to his face, "Give me a moment, Mr. Queen, I can't hear you when she's screaming like that."

Fyers turned away from her with the radio in hand and moved, walking away and leaving her on the ground between the mercenaries who still stood beside her. She gave a shuddering breath, feeling relieved that she was left alone for now, but then Fyers stopped short and turned his head to the side.

"Knock her out!" he shouted, "She's still useful. And bring Yao Fei's daughter!" then he moved again, leaving them behind.

"No!" she breathed out harshly and pushed herself from the ground to scramble to her feet. She couldn't let them touch Shado. She had to do something to stop them.

When she supported her hand on the ground to stood up on her feet steadily, the pressure she put on the hand made a sharp jab of pain shoot through her, reaching straight to the damaged skin on her collarbone. Felicity hissed stumbling on her feet and that was enough to give the mercenaries time to grab the rifle and hit her on the nape of her neck with the butt of it.

After that, there was only darkness.

* * *

Felicity woke up with a groan, her brows furrowing and nose scrunching as the pain attacked every part of her body. Her neck was hurting and the injured shoulder was aching and radiating with unpleasant heat. She could feel herself shiver, her body feeling cold despite the heat that coursed through her from her shoulder. She opened her eyes slowly, but she closed them in an instant when the harsh light of the day stabbed at her sensitive eyes.

When her eyelids opened again and her sight slowly focused on her surroundings she realized a couple of things.

Somehow her glasses were still perched on her nose - they were crooked and the left lens was slightly scratched, but they were still alright and she could see everything clearly. It was already a daytime, so she had to be out for a couple of hours and she wasn't locked in a cage like she'd expected. She was in the middle of a forest, surrounded by four mercenaries who stood on guard with rifles, ready to shoot if they had to. The lower part of her body was lying on the cold ground, but her head was resting on Shado's lap and her friend was looking at her with concern, cradling her face between her hands.

Felicity groaned, lifting her head from Shado's lap, "Shado, are you okay?" she asked, sitting on the ground beside her. She tried to cover the wince that came when she moved too fast, but a small hiss escaped her lips before she managed to stop it and Shado could see that she was in pain, "How long was I out?"

"I'm not sure, twelve hours at least. They took me to the valley about ten hours ago and I was with you ever since. You were unconscious the whole time," she answered quickly and then moved the falling jacket into place on Felicity's shoulder. She was looking at her collarbone intently and Felicity knew she had to see the ugly burned skin in there, "They didn't do anything to me, I'm fine, but... what had Fyers done to you?" she asked, her voice full of sorrow and she looked like she was afraid to hear her answer.

Felicity knew all of this was still new to Shado, she wasn't used to so much violence and to see how people close to her or even complete strangers got hurt. Her eyes watched her with sadness and she could see that Shado wanted to help her somehow, to ease her pain at least a little, but that was impossible. She had to bare it alone just like she always had and Shado needed to understand that sometimes she had to focus on more important things to guarantee their survival. There would be time to hurt and process everything after, when they were at least in a slightly safer position.

"Nothing I can't handle," she answered her, giving her a gentle smile that didn't really reached her eyes. Shado's eyes were still locked on the spot on her shoulder so she moved her arms and took a hold of one of her hands, drawing her attention, "It's okay, Shado. I'm alright now."

Shado shook her head and she didn't answer. Felicity knew she didn't believe her at all.

Something dangling between her wrists caught her attention and Felicity's head dropped down, her eyes searching for what it was. There was an end of a white rope dangling loosely between her hands and only now she realized that her hands were so cold because of the rope that was tightly wrapped around her wrists. The hard blow she was knocked out with had to still be messing with her consciousness if she hadn't noticed that her hands were tied after she woke up.

Felicity frowned, her hands moving and trying to free themselves, but a person who bonded her did a great job, the rope wouldn't get loose no matter in what direction she twisted her hands. Her still slightly dazed gaze fell on Shado's hands and she was surprised when she saw that she wasn't bonded like her. Their captors must have thought she was harmless if they had done that kind of a mistake and it sent a thrill of hope through her.

Yao Fei had been training Shado in martial arts ever since she was a kid; he wanted a son as Shado informed her once, when they had been drinking at a bar, drowning their sorrows in alcohol. Thanks to her father, if she wanted she could take down half of the mercenary team before they even realized what was happening. If Fyers was not aware of that then maybe they could use it to their advantage. Maybe they still had a chance to escape.

But they would need a plan first.

"Shado, where are we?" she asked quietly so that only Shado could hear her; her eyes taking in her surroundings, assessing if they had a chance to escape.

Besides the four mercenaries that stood on guard near them she saw trees - a lot of trees actually. Small slopes covered with moss and grass, a couple of bushes, but nothing that could serve as a hiding spot if they had to run. The slopes were enough to duck if someone was shooting at them, but that was it. They would have to improvise and run really fast.

"I don't know," she answered, watching her like she knew there was a plan forming in Felicity's mind, "We were walking for an hour from the camp with Fyers and a couple of mercenaries up front and then about ten minutes ago we just stopped. Fyers is talking with someone now."

Felicity's head whipped to the side, her eyes searching for Fyers, and she would have regretted her sudden movement, as the still sensitive skin under her eye pulled and stung, if she didn't catch the sight of Fyers' team and himself standing a couple of meters away from them, talking to the two man she thought she wouldn't see again.

"Oh, no," she sighed and Shado sent her a questioning look, hearing the worry in her voice.

"What?" she whispered, moving closer to her, "Do you know them? Who are they?"

Felicity didn't answer her at first. She watched as Oliver and Slade talked with Fyers. She could see their faces easily even from a distance like that. Slade looked determined and confident, but Oliver was a little uncertain, like he wasn't sure if whatever they were planning could work. Felicity instantly wanted to know what they were doing. They had the circuit board so why did they come back?

She broke her gaze away from them to glance at Shado, "It's Oliver and Slade Wilson."

"What?" her brows shot up in surprise, "But you said Oliver was dead."

"Believe me, until yesterday I thought he was," she stated quietly. Her eyes jumped back to the sight in front of her, her brows furrowing deeply in thought, "We need to get to the front; I need to know what they're talking about. They can help us," Shado nodded and Felicity was grateful that she was agreeing with her. This would get a lot harder if they had to argue about what to do.

Out of nowhere they heard Fyers' yell of command carrying through the forest, "Men!"

Felicity didn't have a chance to do anything before she was grabbed under her armpits and the mercenaries hauled her from the ground, violently.

She grunted and tried to snatch her arms from their grip, but her injured skin made her yelp in pain when it was pulled in her rapid movements. She slumped in their grip, knowing that she didn't have a chance to escape right now. They were practically carrying her; her feet in combat boots dragging across the ground. She heard Shado's small yell of distress and she knew that the other pair of mercenaries was carrying her not far behind her.

"No!" someone breather out and her head shot up in the direction of the terrified voice. Her eyes met with Yao Fei's wide eyes when he saw her and his daughter being dragged to Fyers. Felicity didn't even know he was here and by the shocked look on his face she could tell he didn't know about them too, "No!" he yelled, moving to stop them, but a mercenary who stood behind him hit him with the butt of his rifle.

"Hey!" Oliver took a step in his direction, seeing the hit, but Slade stopped him. Yao Fei fell to his knees wincing and then he was cuffed by the mercenary who hit him.

The mercenaries who carried her threw her to the ground and she fell on her still tied up hands, wincing in pain. Shado landed more gracefully on her knees beside her and she was breathing heavily, looking at her father.

"You will deliver back to me the circuit board or I'll kill Yao Fei's daughter and your dear friend Ms. Smoak," Fyers declared and his voice was strong enough to let them know he wouldn't hesitate to do so.

Felicity looked up at Oliver, but his eyes fell down to the ground and he was thinking about something thoroughly.

"So I wouldn't leave," Oliver said finally, realization drawing on him and just like that Felicity knew why he'd come back.

Oliver and Slade had to make a deal with Fyers that they would give him the circuit board back if he arranged them a way to get off the Island. It looked like Oliver took her advice to the heart and he wasn't going to give up. Felicity shook her head.

This plan would be good if Fyers was actually willing to help them, but she knew he would never let them leave, knowing everything they did about Lian Yu and his operation. He tricked them and bringing her and Shado here was his way to have leverage against them, something that would make sure they would cooperate. The only problem was that Felicity wasn't sure if Oliver and Slade cared about her enough to sacrifice their only way off the Island because, let's be honest, they barely knew her and like Felicity had once told Oliver - he shouldn't trust anyone on this Island so why should she trust them with her life?

Oliver could seem like a good guy, but Felicity couldn't hope that he would choose her instead of something he really wanted.

"I can't imagine you want a death of an innocent young woman on your hands. Not with your principles," Fyers said in a mocking tone and then turned his body to the side, pointing at Felicity, "And what about her?" he took a step closer and Felicity gritted her teeth feeling angry that she always had to end up in a shitty situations and this time wasn't any different, "You'll let her die after she sacrificed her safety to help you? After she was tortured because of you?"

Felicity's eyes moved slowly from the ground and she hesitantly looked at Oliver only to find him already watching her. Their eyes met and she could see the struggle in him; he wanted to help her and he wanted to get off the Island. He didn't know which option he should choose. She wouldn't blame him if he chose the latter; this wasn't an easy thing to sacrifice.

"Let the girls go," Slade's demanding words made her look at him and it seemed like he made a decision Oliver couldn't do. A smirk appeared on Slade's lips as he aimed the gun at Fyers face.

She couldn't help when a small relieved sigh escaped her and Oliver looked like he was relieved too, but she could easily say that it was for a completely different reason than her.

"No deal?" Fyers asked, giving them a second to elaborate on their decision, "Very well," he turned around and retreated, making his way to the place she and Shado were waiting, "Kill them!"

"No!" Yao Fei yelled, elbowing the mercenary behind him as he tried to break free.

Felicity had a split second to see the sideways look Shado was giving her and she knew things would get pretty interesting in a moment. It was the same look she had on her face so many times before when some creeper in a bar was bothering Felicity and she introduced him to her martial arts skills from up close and personal.

In the next second Shado grabbed the gun that the mercenary was aiming at her and she twisted his hand, making him fall to his knees. She took him by surprise, maybe that's why the other one reacted slower than was expected from him and Shado used that to hit him and then support her weight on his shoulders as she jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his head. She kicked her legs to the side, wrapping them around the head of the first one and he grunted as she twisted her legs and all three of them fell to the ground.

All of this happened in a short moment where Felicity could only watch her awestruck, her mouth falling slightly open. She'd never seen her fighting like that and all she could think about was that her best friend was a badass. With Shado by her side she would definitely get out of this situation alive.

Slade started shooting to the other mercenaries then and Oliver attacked the one close to him. From the corner of her eye she could see Yao Fei choking someone with his legs, but she didn't pay too much attention to things that were happening away from her. She was too busy watching as Shado threw a knife at her feet and then jumped back to action, taking care of the other two mercenaries that were still a threat to them.

Felicity lunged for the knife, grabbing the handle so the blade was facing downwards and she started cutting the rope tied around her wrists. It wasn't as easy as she thought it would be, especially in a moment when she had to work quickly and adrenaline was starting to rush through her body, making her hands shake in frustration at her own incompetence.

Chaos surrounded her; shouts, grunts and yells from a fight were reaching her ears, the loud sounds of shooting were echoing around the woods. She was breathing hard by the time she was almost finished, one last stupid little rope that wouldn't let go.

She heard an audible click as the safety of a gun was released and her eyes shot up, meeting with Fyers holding a gun pointed at her head.

For a second she thought his narrowed and cold looking eyes would be the last thing she would see before she died, but then Shado appeared out of nowhere and blocked his hand with the gun, hitting him in the throat, his face and then jumping on his shoulders. Her legs wrapped around his head and she made a backward somersault, sending Fyers flying and then landing on his back on the ground.

This time Felicity didn't freeze as she watched her do that. She started cutting the rope again and after a moment it finally let go, falling loosely around her wrists. She threw it to the side, looking around, not wanting to be caught off guard again, but to her luck there weren't any threats nearby.

She caught a sight of Slade watching Shado with intrigue and maybe a little bit of surprise written on his face. His mouth was slightly open and his brows furrowed as he put one of his guns back to the holster, not taking his eyes off of Shado even for a moment. Felicity couldn't help but smirk at that.

Shado punched Fyers with a couple of strong hits to his face and then she jump to her feet, grabbing Felicity and helping her get up from the ground. When she was steady on her feet they started running in Slade, Oliver and Yao Fei's direction.

"Well that was unexpected," Slade threw at them as they were passing by him and Shado only smirked at him.

"There's more to her than the eyes can see," Felicity said, not haltering the quick steps she was planting on the ground. Her voice was a little breathless but also proud of her friend. She knew Slade probably thought that she and Shado were inexperienced and she was happy to show him how wrong he was.

At least in Shado's case.

He scrunched his nose at Felicity, trying to hide the fact that Shado impressed him, when he saw her sending him a short self-satisfied look.

"Fyers!" Oliver yelled abruptly, looking at something behind them.

They looked back, alarmed and saw another team of mercenaries heading their way through the forest to back up Fyers. In the short time that took Felicity and Shado to get to Yao Fei, Fyers managed to recover from Shado's punches and he was on his feet now, heading their way with a gun drawn at them. He started shooting with the rest of his team then and they had to run if they wanted to get out of this alive.

Shado grabbed her father, helping him get up from the ground as Oliver jumped to Felicity, grabbing her arm and dragging her with him. Slade started shooting to the team, giving his friends some time to retreat and then he was backing away, without stopping to shoot for a second.

Oliver's grip on her arm was strong as they were running away, trying to dodge the flying bullets, and she could bet that there would be bruises on her skin, seeing as it wasn't the first time in the past twenty-four-hours when she was manhandled like that. If she didn't know any better she would say that he was actually afraid to leave her behind or lose her from his sight now, when all of them were almost free and safe.

A grunt of pain made her look behind and she saw Yao Fei stumbling on the ground with Shado trying to lift him up. Oliver and she ran to them instantly, seeing that Yao Fei got hit in the leg and it would be hard for Shado to carry him by herself.

"Come on!" Oliver grunted, helping him up and supporting him on his shoulder. They dragged him behind the nearest slope and ducked down when the flying bullets were getting closer to hitting one of them again. Slade hid behind a tree still shooting to Fyers.

This didn't look good. They were trapped and it was getting harder to escape. Felicity looked at Shado then Oliver and Yao Fei. Every one of them was panting, tiredness and distress present in their eyes, looking around and trying to figure out a way out. Felicity knew she had to look the same. They had no idea what to do now.

"Take her to safety!" Yao Fei yelled at Oliver, making all of them look at him, "Now! I'll only slow you down!"

Shado started to shake her head with a panicked look at her father's words and Felicity understood then what Yao Fei meant. He wanted to sacrifice himself so they could escape. Even if that meant Fyers would kill him.

His sure eyes locked on hers and Felicity heard his voice inside her head.

_I must do what is necessary to keep my daughter safe._

Everything he ever did, every right or wrong was to keep Shado safe and they couldn't oppose to the only thing he ever wanted. Felicity pressed her lips in a firm line. She didn't like this, but it was the only way they could survive this and Yao Fei knew that.

"Go!" he yelled again.

Felicity made a decision then.

She grabbed Shado as she was still shaking her head, not wanting to leave her father behind and she would probably break away from Felicity if Slade hadn't run up to them, ducking behind the slope and pulling at her shoulders, yelling at them to go. When Oliver finally helped Felicity and they could drag Shado away, Felicity met Yao Fei's eyes for the last time.

His eyes were pleading with her to keep Shado safe and she couldn't do anything besides giving him a small nod before Slade was pushing her to move faster and they were running again, away from the danger.

* * *

Felicity had no idea how long they were running. It must have been a couple of hours before Slade stopped, intently looking around for something; the light from the flashlight he was holding, illuminating the dark forest around them.

Felicity slumped down on the cold and wet ground, trying to catch her breath. Her lungs were on fire, her lips dry and she didn't know when was the last time her body was put through that kind of treatment. The adrenaline from the fight was still kicking through her veins, not letting her raging heart to calm down. Her glasses were slipping down her nose, her hair falling from the ponytail she put them in a day before, her shoulder still throbbing uncomfortably. She knew she had to look like hell and she didn't smell too pleasant, but what was she expecting after the day she'd been through?

Shado fell on the ground beside her, panting hard and brushing away the black strands of hair from her face. The small drizzle that started some time before made her hair and the mercenary clothes she'd gotten from Fyers damp. She looked tired, but Felicity could tell it wasn't because of their intense 'workout'. She was regretting leaving her father behind and it weighted on her. It wasn't easy to see her that way and not for the first time Felicity cursed the Island for what it did to all of them.

Oliver exhaled heavily, running his fingers through his damp hair, looking around like Slade. Felicity watched them curiously; Slade moved closer to them, illuminating the piece of map he was intently studying and Oliver took a double take at some large tree trunk a couple of feet away from him. Recognition flashed across his face and then he was moving, crouching in front of the trunk, using his flashlight to lighten the hollow of the trunk. What was he doing?

Shado got up from the ground, taking a step to Slade to see the map he was looking at. When she looked back to Oliver, he was getting up from the ground, his posture stiff like he discovered something he didn't like.

"Slade?" Oliver slowly turned his body to look at him and Slade did the same, flashing his flashlight at him, "The circuit board is gone."

Felicity sucked in a breath, understanding everything in an instant. They hid the circuit board in here so it would be safe in case Fyers was trying to trick them, but somehow they didn't think of the fact that Fyers was always two steps ahead of everyone. He had to send a search party when they were negotiating with him.

Slade stared at Oliver for a moment like he didn't get what he was saying and then he lunged forward to the tree trunk, shoving Oliver out of his way and checking the hollow himself.

"Damn," he sighed, "Fyers played us," he sent them a sideways look and Felicity slowly stood up from the ground, sensing his struggle to stay calm, "While he was screwing us around, his men were covering the woods for it," he moved and grabbed the lapels of Oliver's jacket with one hand, blinding him with the sharp light of the flashlight he held in the other, "Now his missile launcher is fully operational!" he hissed at his face and shook him like it was his fault.

"He was never going to let us out of the Island," Oliver said, shaking Slade's hands off of him in annoyance, "I get it!"

They were leveling each other with harsh looks, their eyes saying every bad word their mouths kept for themselves and this was so not the time for this. This was not the time for blaming one another and causing problems when they should stick together if they wanted to survive all of this.

Felicity took a step in their direction, her mouth opening to say exactly what she was thinking, but Shado was faster than her.

"Of course he wasn't gonna help you. He couldn't chance you getting out of here knowing his plan!" Shado shouted, showing her frustration at them, but Felicity knew it was also much more than just that. She finally snapped, talking for the first time in hours, letting the anger for sacrificing her father speak for her.

Oliver sent her a strange look and then he shook his head, exasperated, "She speaks English," he said in a tone she couldn't recognize and that made her look at him in surprise.

Slade flashed his flashlight at Shado like he was seeing her for the first time and Felicity had no idea what was their problem. Everyone was angry right now, letting their emotions speaking for themselves and arguing about everything wasn't helping anybody.

"Yeah, well guess what, neither one of us have any idea what his plans are," Oliver threw at Shado, clearly annoyed.

Shado sent him a long look, her eyes narrowing, but she didn't say a word. Her head tilted to the side and her eyes locked with Felicity's. She studied her for a moment, her eyes telling her everything she wasn't saying.

Shado wanted to tell them everything about Fyers' plan and Felicity knew it better than anyone in here. They were free now; Felicity could succeed in stopping Fyers better than when she was on her own and besides, if telling them about everything she knew would make the tension that was clearly visible between them disappear she would do it.

Felicity sighed and nodded her head, giving Shado a free hand to say whatever she needed to say.

"She does."

Oliver and Slade exchanged a look, hearing Shado's simple statement. Slade looked at Felicity then, saying in the most obvious tone of voice, "Of course she does. She worked for him."

"Not by choice!" Felicity said quickly, feeling the need to remind them of that.

When Oliver's face lightened a bit from its grim look and he sent her his barely-there smile, like he wanted to assure her they knew she didn't have a choice, she breathed out slowly, feeling more at ease and she gave him a grateful look. Then she remembered about the problem that put them in this situation in the first place.

"And you're wrong," she said and they frowned at her. Felicity pushed her slightly askew glasses back on her nose, searching for the right words so they could understand exactly what she meant, "The launcher will not work even if Fyers will connect the circuit board back to it. I created a special block and put it on the ignition chip. The launcher won't turn on without a special access code and I'm the only one who knows it."

Slade and Oliver were staring at her for a long moment like she'd said something crazy and then Slade's shoulders dropped, tension leaving his body and it was probably the first time she ever saw someone grin so widely at her.

"I knew I liked you for a reason, sweetheart," he said teasingly in a deep voice. His eyes were full of something she couldn't name yet and he looked like they won after all even if they still didn't find a way off the Island. He glanced at Oliver and then back at her, determination visible on his face, "Let's stop this son of a bitch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A lot happened in this chapter and first I wanted to apologize for what happened to Felicity, but it needed to be done. Unfortunately it wasn't the first time she was tortured and it wasn't even the last time. More pain coming for Felicity in the future and I really hate writing scenes like that, but this story needs it. It's not sunshine and unicorns as you know from the show's flashbacks.
> 
> Now as Felicity and Shado are free, a lot of developments will come their way. Some bad and some good and some surprising. The moment in the forest when Oliver hesitated between choosing Felicity or freedom will play a big role in the next two chapters. Some trust issues will be adressed and hopefully you will like what I will do with that particular problem. The bond between them grows from now, the feelings (or no feelings) will be explored leading us straight to the moment where their emotional journey will start the way you're probably waiting for. So a lot of big moments ahead.
> 
> Righ now I just finished chapter 9 that is the last one of Arrow season one's flashbacks. It was long and painful so I can't promise you any happy endings for season one finale. I had some problems with writing this chapter, some serious problems to be honest. I finished it after whole two weeks and I'm just so tired of it that I'm not sure how well I did with it. I hope it doesn't suck complitely, but I will know that only after you'll have a chance to read it in three weeks.
> 
> When chapter 9 will be posted I'm taking a short break with this story, a week or two tops, to regenerate, catch up with some chapters and actually focus on my health for longer than I definitely do now. I need a clear mind to write it well and not destroy my own story in the middle that is the most important part. And right now I'm overloaded with drama and angst so much that I can't focus on anything. I'm writing some happy prompts I'm getting on tumblr to get in the zone again and working on the smut series I told you once about. Let's hope it goes well and I can get back to working on this story!
> 
> Thank you for your support here, on AO3, twitter and tumblr, it really helps me with everything I'm going through in life and while writing this story and your reviews definitely push me towards writing more! So if you have some time and want to see more of this story, to see that I'm not struggling with writing it, maybe drop me a line if you can? :) It would definitely make wonders!
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter and thank you for reading it and/or my rambles!
> 
> Find me on twitter: angelica_fit or on tumblr: http://seetheskyaboveus.tumblr.com/


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or the characters. The idea for this story is mine.  
> Soundtrack: http://8tracks.com/seetheskyaboveus/i-found-love-where-it-wasn-t-supposed-to-be-soundtrack-1  
> You can also read this story on FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11129309/1/I-Found-Love-Where-It-Wasn-t-Supposed-To-Be  
> Warnings: Graphic Descriptions Of Violence, Torture, Suicide Attempt, Possible Mature/Explicit Content In Later Chapters

**A/N:** Chapter 7 is ready for you, guys! But first I feel like I need to say some things for people (not from AO3) who weren't reading my A/N's and warnings since chapter one, which were really important for you to know what I'm gonna do with this story, where will I take those characters and on what journey will I send them before they can just be together like all of us want them to be (believe me, I really, _really_ want to finally write that chapter). Chapter 6 was a perfect example of what awaits for our favourite characters in this story. Torture, dark stuff - on emotional, psychological and physical level - drama and all the trigger warnings.

This story is dark, really dark and if you spend some time to actually understand the flashbacks and not see them only as a action sequences, but look at the psychological side you'll see that all this time spent on Lian Yu really was a hell on earth for Oliver. I never understood why they were talking about it like that, why that was his worst and the most changing period in his life until I had to look deeper and write that myself. Write stuff I have never written before. It really was a nightmare, what all of them had to do to survive, how many times question their own life and choices, how many times they wanted to give up. This story is really hard to write. I need to put myself into a certain headspace that pulls me underneath and as I'm writing, it puts me into this dark mood and I don't want to do anything. I feel like something is weighting on me all the time, I am tired and I feel really sad all of a sudden. And this makes me angry because I can't focus on anything. It's hard to write this story because I have to show all of the things the writers of the show told us Oliver went through, but this time it's even harder because I'm throwing Felicity into the mix. Many times I feel like I'm not doing it justice, like I'm not trying hard enough. I have to go to an intense place to write those kind of scenes, to feel what the characters are feeling at that moments. And that's why I always say it's gonna be worse before it will get better but it looks like some people don't really understand that or just are not really paying attention to the notes and warnings I said I would put before every chapter to remind some of you of that, and later, when something powerful like torturing Felicity happens some people are moved and feel offended I dared to do something like that to Felicity. First things first, let me tell you this: I am definitely **not enjoying** writing Felicity being tortured or hurt in any way. I didn't write this because I wanted to. I am writing this because the story calls for it, it is pivotal to Felicity's journey on the Island and it's not pretty. It has changed her and it will continue to change her. It's funny, when Oliver was tortured in the show or in chapter one of this story (even if it wasn't graphically described) no one felt offended, but the moment I put Felicity in that position it's not right.

I'm going to quote my friend who reads this story and understands the things I wanted to show perfectly:

_"At the beginning of the story we see Felicity **after** the effects of torture. That's one of the main reasons why she's almost in zombie-state, just going on along with what Fyers wants and it's Oliver coming into the camp that breaks her out of that. We **needed** to see that so that not only we can understand **why** Felicity was doing what she was doing at the beginning of the story, but also, so we can see how **important** Oliver's effect on her is. You showed us a glimpse on **what** was done to her in the past (torture) and **that** also lets us know her **strenght** , and what it took for her to volunteer to stay behind, because she knew that something like that could happen. You didn't shy away from what needed to be shown just because she was a female character. No, you went out and did it! Felicity is tough, women can be tough, and you showed that she doesn't need to be treated with "kid gloves", nor do **any** female characters."_

This is exactly what I want to show in this story. To show the hard angles, the intensity of the horrible things that had happened to her, but also the good stuff that **will** happen in between. When I decided to write this, I promised myself I'll do it good - no shortcuts, and that meant study the characters, understand them, think about how some things could impact on them, what could change them and definitely don't hold back when it comes to hard stuff. This was supposed to be realistic, believable and true so people could remember it. I'm basically writing my own version of the show so I can't do this halfway. So even if stuff are hard I need to pull through that so I can reach the moment when they finally can be together and be the grown, experienced characters I see them at the end of this story. There will be issues and more drama than actual lighter moments, but everything will work out, romance will start. Remember when in season one we could see Oliver with PTSD? And then it suddenly was brushed off, almost forgotten and then people didn't know why Oliver acts like he acts. That was the issue - writers told us a story that he went through hell and back and then they expected us to understand what he went through without showing his emotional state to us. And I'm not gonna skip this because this is the most important thing that creates the character - stuff that have impact on Felicity in this story. Then we can really feel connected to her character, not only see things through her eyes.

So yeah I'll do the shocking things, I'll keep writing Felicity as a strong woman, Oliver and Felicity will get together eventually, but it's not gonna be pretty, not at first. And what I'm going to write now (chapter 10 and so on) it's gonna be the hardest journey in Felicity's life. So far I showed you Felicity post torture, how changed she was and what it took to get her back on track, to be the person she is to this point. Now I'm going to take you to place that is going to be more powerful than anything you have seen so far. And it will break her. More than she'd been broken by Fyers before she met Oliver, and you'll experiance that with her. You will see firsthand the psychological aspect of how much this will be changing her, breaking her - not like in chapter one when she was already past that. This will hurt you to read, but it will also hurt me to write, that's why I'm postponing working on that chapter as much as I can, because I can already see how much of a toll it will take on me. But again - after that Oliver is going to be there to help her get up and put the pieces back together, to take that pain away and **be** her strenght when she will feel like she can't do this anymore. And this - **this** is going to be the moment that will change everything for them forever. After that, the story is going to flow like crazy, Oliver and Felicity will be inseparable no matter how much she or he will try to deny that.

The point of this whole story is to be emotionally powerful but entertaining as well and I'm going to try my best to deliver.

I hope I didn't offend anyone, but I just feel like this needed to be said for **the last time** , so it would be clear it's not going to be a typical Olicity love story. If you feel like you can get through even more angst, stick with me, I promise all of this will pay off! If not, thank you for reading previous chapters, I'm sorry it wasn't your cup of tea.

I need to make myself clear: this was written for all of you, so you could understand where I'm taking this story, but it was written more for these few people that came to me with complaints. Of course AO3 crew - I don't mean you at all. You were actually amazing! I can't belive in the positive response I got from you guys that made me so happy I have no words to describe what I was feeling while reading your comments. Thank you for that!). I feel like you actually understood what I'm trying to do with this story, so thank you again!

I hope this wasn't too much, but as I said, it was needed. I hope now everything is clear and you can enjoy chapter 7 without any more words from me. :)

* * *

_**Chapter Seven** _

* * *

Slade took them to the plane he'd been living in for the last couple of months. Apparently, when he and Billy Wintergreen were flying to Lian Yu Fyers shot them down from the sky. Felicity still didn't know the reason he'd done that though. Slade might be talkative, but he stayed away from personal subjects for as long as it was possible.

The plane was huge, one of the cargo ones and despite that most of it was damaged during the crash it still could function as a shelter. There was a masking grid thrown over every functioning exit the plane had, the ivy vines were falling through the holes in the roof, all the electronics in the plane were busted to Felicity's displeasure and disappointment, and if Slade would get rid of every unneeded item clattered around the plane it could actually look cozy.

There was a lot of place to sleep - that was one of the things she liked the most about it. The tent she had in Fyers' camp was so small that she could barely fit in there, not to mention how limited the space become when Shado had joined her.

When they got to the plane, Slade threw a blanket at her and told her to pick a corner for herself and Felicity was actually torn between the choices she had. Eventually she'd picked a place in the far corner of the plane where the roof of it was slightly torn off and she could see the stars on the dark sky - something she hadn't been able to do in a long time.

No one talked after that, maybe they were too exhausted or maybe they didn't know what to say to each other - no matter what it was, they were just silently lying on the floor and sometime during the night, the faint sounds of Oliver's even breathing she heard from her right side lolled her to sleep.

She woke up the next day later than she was used to; the throbbing pain in her shoulder reminding her of what happened two days ago. The sound of grunting and light banter between the rest of her companions making her realize that she'd slept in longer than she probably should have.

Felicity sighed loudly, a shiver attacking her body as the thin, grey blanket that was wrapped around her body fell and polled at her waist. She was still wearing the torn shirt and the jacket from two days ago, but underneath the thick material of the jacket there was something wrapped around her shoulder that definitely wasn't there when she was falling asleep.

"How are you feeling?" Shado asked gently and Felicity's head shot up, hearing her voice so close to her. She didn't even hear her coming up to her.

Her eyes moved quickly around the plane and she was met with Oliver's concerned eyes watching her from a small trunk he was sitting on not far in front of her. Slade was covered in sweat, panting slightly and he was drinking water as his eyes swept her body for any potential signs of something being wrong with her.

Felicity scrunched her nose, not understanding their examining looks and she looked back at Shado, "I feel fine," she said simply, "A little bit weaker than I was feeling yesterday, but I think that's just everything that happened to us finally catching up with me."

Shado crouched beside her, handing Felicity her glasses and she put them on slowly, instantly seeing everything better.

"Well, it caught up with you good," Shado said and Felicity's eyebrow lifted in question, "You were running a fever," she answered, unzipping Felicity's jacket, "I woke up before the dawn and you were shivering, covered in sweat. I think you worked yourself too hard in the last few days and your shoulder didn't take it well."

Felicity watched as Shado moved the jacket away and she was able to see small gauze covering the burned skin on her shoulder. She definitely didn't put it in there.

"We gave you some herbs Yao Fei showed me and it helped with the fever," Oliver said when she was inspecting the piece of gauze, "I think it helped with the pain too because you slept well for the last few hours."

Felicity looked at him slowly. Oliver was standing now, his hands fidgeting by his sides like he didn't know if he should come closer or keep his distance. He was glancing at her gauze covered shoulder with a tormented look on his face, like he was blaming himself for what had happened to her.

Felicity tilted her head to the side, not understanding his reaction. It wasn't his fault. Fyers would have hurt her even if she wasn't helping Oliver. That was just the way he kept his people in line.

Felicity zipped her jacket so her shoulder wasn't visible anymore and her movement dragged Oliver's eyes back to hers, "Thank you," she said slowly, so he would understand she really meant that. He studied her for a moment and whatever he saw made him relax slightly and the dark edge disappeared from his eyes, "I don't remember being in pain or running a fever. Like at all. So I think it helped."

She was telling the truth. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep to the sounds of Oliver's breathing and she slept like a rock after that; she didn't recall any pain she should feel with that kind of burns and the herbs had to work wonders if all she felt right now was just an uncomfortable throbbing, spreading around the skin of her shoulder.

Oliver dipped his head, one corner of his lips twitching and he looked at Slade who was silently watching their exchange with curious eyes.

"You sure you're feeling better?" Shado asked, bringing Felicity's attention back to her.

"Yeah," she smiled at her, reaching for her hand and squeezing it in gratitude, "Thank you for taking care of me."

"Always," Shado squeezed her hand back, something light dancing in her eyes.

It was good to see her like that, away from danger and pain, in a place where she could be herself for a moment. She was flushed, the heavy jacket shed away from her slim frame, leaving her in a grey thank top. A thin layer of sweat covering her face and for a moment Felicity regretted that she missed the sparring session she and Slade certainly had to have. She would love to see Shado kicking his ass.

Then she scrunched her nose again, this time because of the unpleasant feeling of sweat sticking to her skin, "I could use a shower," she said, looking from Shado to Oliver and then Slade, "I think the three layers of sweat sticking to my skin right now is enough before I kill someone with my smell."

Slade snorted loudly, choking on the sip of water he was drinking when she said that and Oliver grinned widely, whatever was troubling him a second ago disappearing for a moment. She wasn't sure if it was because of her words or Slade's reaction.

Slade covered his reaction with a cough and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He tried to look unaffected, but amusement was dancing in his eyes when he lifted one eyebrow at her comment and well, it felt good to actually make a joke without feeling like Lian Yu wasn't a place for that.

"That's a good idea," Slade said gruffly, putting away the metal bottle with water, "Everyone could use a bath. There's a river not far from here, secluded. We can go there later after some more training; I can give you some spare clothes I have if you want to wash yours."

A bath and a set of fresh clothes? Well, if that didn't sound like heaven Felicity had no idea what would. Back in Fyers camp she could shower in one of the makeshift stalls and the cold water from the tank was limited. She also had to be careful and quick to not attract anyone's attention; god knows what the mercenaries would do to the only women in the camp if they had seen her naked. The perspective to actually have a bath where she could take her time without fearing that someone would attack her the moment she looked away sounded wonderful.

Felicity bobbed her head lightly, sending Slade a grateful look for his offer, "That would be great."

Shado stood up, straightening from the crouch then, brushing the loose damp strands of hair from her face, "Speaking of training..." she turned and looked at Oliver as he was still grinning slightly at the earlier situation, "We should start now. The sooner the better."

The grin dropped from his face the moment he heard her words and he sent Shado exasperated look.

"You're going to train him?" Felicity asked confused, looking between them. She had to miss a lot while she was sleeping off the fever and pain.

Both of them looked at her; Shado with a very confidant expression on her face and Oliver looking a lot less convinced that this was actually a good idea.

"I'm going to teach him how to shoot a bow," Shado clarified.

"Good luck with that," Slade grumbled under his breath, grabbing a piece of cloth to wipe the sweat from his face.

Felicity watched them dumbfounded. Shado looked like she was ready to prove Slade wrong; that she could do this just as easily as she could kick his ass in hand to hand combat. Slade was certainly amused and he clearly didn't believe her; he had to know something about Oliver's level of skills, or more correctly about the lack of it, if he was so sure that Shado wouldn't manage the task she brought on herself. Oliver just stood there, with a slightly annoyed look on his face, clearly not happy with the perspective of being Shado's test subject.

Felicity shook her head. She couldn't find more stranger companions to take Fyers down with.

Oliver looked down for a second, his hands fidgeting by his sides and then he took something out of his pants pocket. He moved slowly, closing the remaining space between them; he outstretched his hand close enough so she could see and reach whatever he was holding in his hand.

Her knife.

"Here," he said, "I, uh... I forgot to give this back. You were right - it actually saved my life once."

Felicity looked at him, her mouth slightly open in surprise because... well, she had already forgotten about that. Oliver had this gentle smile on his face and despite that there was something dark in his eyes when he looked at her and she could see the darkness even clearer when he mentioned using the knife in self-defense, she could see as well that he was grateful she helped him and gave him the knife that first day she saw him.

She reached for the knife slowly, still looking him in the eyes, "Thanks for not losing it."

Oliver nodded in acknowledgement, pressing his lips together. She eyed him curiously, seeing his strange behavior from before coming back in full force. He was acting like he didn't know how to behave around her; how to approach her now when they were away from Fyers' camp. Like he thought she wouldn't want to have anything to do with him when he didn't need her help anymore.

She had no idea why he would act and think like that.

Shado grabbed an empty bucket standing in the corner of the plane and handed it to Oliver. He took it reluctantly, eyeing it for a moment and then looked back at Shado, who took a hold of an empty wooden bowl and headed straight to the plane's exit.

"Come on, we will need water. Lots and lots of water," she said and stepped outside.

Oliver didn't have a choice but to follow her, although he managed to give an exasperated sigh as he was leaving, showing that he didn't like this - whatever it was - at all.

Felicity watched the exit they disappeared in for a moment; the pose she was sitting on the floor, making her legs cramp uncomfortably. She moved slightly, changing position and her eyes skipped from the exit to the only person who was left with her in the plane.

Slade was staring at her. He was standing, leaning against the table behind him, with his arms crossed on his broad chest and he was shamelessly staring at her with his eyes slightly narrowed like she was some sort of an exhibit he could study.

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

Slade didn't take his intense gaze from her even when she sent him the most stubborn and challenging look she could muster. Finally, he pushed away from the table, taking few steps closer to her and asked the most incredulous question that made her snort at him.

"Can you fight?"

"Please," she said with a laugh, "You really don't want to see me trying to take someone out. I might take myself out by accident."

He threw her a look and started pacing in the space he and Shado were training earlier, "Well, you have to know something."

"I know computers," she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Slade stopped in front of her and pointed at the knife she was still holding in her right hand that was lying on her blanket covered lap, "Your knife. What can you do with it?"

"This?" she asked, furrowing her brows and looking at the object of interest. She shrugged then, "It was just a safety net in case someone was going to try something."

Slade gave a long breath, looking to the side and Felicity thought he might be slightly annoyed with her. He had to be wondering how could she survive on the Island for so long if she had no clue about basics self-defense that could save her ass in an extreme situation. To be honest, she had no idea how she had survived all this time too.

His dark eyes jumped back to her and the look on his face was enough to tell her he'd set his mind on something, "Well, you already have a knife so we can as well use it."

* * *

Slade took her outside of the plane to the small clearing where - as he'd explained to her before - he practiced throwing things at targets. She cooked an eyebrow at him, not impressed when she saw his makeshift shooting range that in fact was just a pile of high tree trunks spread around the border of the clearing in a patterned arrangement.

Apparently, Slade wanted to teach her how to throw a knife.

"I don't think this is a good idea," she said, staring at the silver balanced knives he took from a trunk with weapons in his plane, "I could hit you by accident."

This was not a good idea at all. She was the clumsiest person in the entire world. Even Shado gave Slade a strange look when she'd heard what he wanted to do. Oliver just stood there, observing them as they talked, making her more confused with his behavior, but she didn't have time to wonder about it because Slade dragged her outside, leaving Shado and Oliver in the plane.

"That's why I'm gonna stay behind you," Slade said, not taking his attention away from the knives he was preparing for her to use.

"I wouldn't be surprised if I hit you anyway," she huffed, fidgeting on her feet.

"Stop whining, sweetheart, and do what I told you when we were walking here."

Felicity huffed again at his commanding tone which sounded really annoying with his accent and the gruff in his voice as he called her 'sweetheart'. Slade threw her a look, clearly not affected by her childish behavior and she rolled her eyes, taking a hold of one of the knives displayed in front of her. She turned on her hill, gripping the knife by its blade in her right hand and at first she just stared at the huge tree trunk in front of her. It already had some holes in it and she was almost one hundred percent sure she wouldn't add any new ones.

She tried to remember everything he told her about technique and correct order she should make every move. She rolled her eyes again and placed her weight on her right leg, resting her left one a step in front of her, wanting to be over this already.

She raised her hand with the knife in it, slightly bending her wrist back towards her forearm. She was holding the knife on the side above her head and in this position she didn't have to worry about cutting herself in the process. She could feel Slade's presence on her back, breathing deeply and waiting for her to make a move. He created a tension she didn't need to feel in that moment, but she wouldn't be herself if she didn't act even when she felt uncomfortable.

Not thinking any longer Felicity switched her weight to the leg in front of her, creating a momentum and at the same time she swung her forearm forward in a line straight from her elbow, releasing the knife. Her eyes closed on their own accord, not waiting to see how bad it was.

There was a light whoosh heard in the air when the knife was set free from her grip and Felicity bit on her lower lip, waiting for the soft thud that would tell her that she at least managed to hit the tree trunk. When it came, it was barely heard and she kept her eyes closed thinking that she had to imagine it. Slade shifting behind her back and letting out a strangled sound made her eyes pop open again.

The blade of the knife was sticking out from the side of the tree trunk. It was slightly askew and she didn't hit the bull's-eye, but still - she actually managed to hit the target and the knife was embedded deep enough in the tree to not fall away from it.

Felicity's mouth fell open in shock, eyes going wide. She actually did it. She hit the target! She didn't suck at it as she thought she would!

Slade had to be shocked too because he took a step closer, bumping his shoulder into Felicity's in the process, checking if he wasn't seeing things. He stared at the tree trunk with his eyes slightly narrowed, like he was trying to understand how did this happen. His mouth was slightly agape and it looked like he wanted to say something but no sound escaped his lips.

"Huh," he finally huffed after a long moment and his eyes were still glued to the knife sticking out from the tree trunk, "I thought you told me you never had a target practice before."

Felicity closed her mouth with an audible click, staring at the tree just like Slade. She pulled a face, shrugging and said slowly, "If throwing circuit boards at technicians who wouldn't listen to me can be considered as a target practice then you can say I had."

Slade looked at her with raised eyebrow, "Maybe you just have a good eye," he said looking her up and down.

"Oh, yes," Felicity snorted, looking at him. The corners of her lips tipping upwards, "My eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses can definitely agree with you."

"Again," he told her after a moment, breaking out from the daze her surprisingly awesome shot put him in, "This time push on the knife harder and try aiming in the middle."

Felicity gave a breath and reached for another knife with her left hand. She didn't think that through though, moving her hand with a little too much force and making the muscles on her shoulder pull with her move. The burned skin sent a flash of small pain through her and she winced, closing her eyes for a second as she shook her head at herself.

Shado told her to be careful, to give her body time to heal, to let the scars set. Yet she kept forgetting about that, especially when emotions other than worry took over her.

When she opened her eyes Slade was already watching her with wariness visible in his eyes.

"Fyers did a number on you, huh?" he said, trying to sound causal, but he couldn't really mask the worrisome she heard in his voice. It surprised her, if she was being honest.

Felicity sent him a short look, grabbing the knife from the wide stone he put them on into her right hand. Her lips were pressed into a thin line for a moment as she was thinking how to answer him without feeling week. She didn't need his pity.

"It wouldn't be the first time."

Slade scoffed at her reply like he already knew that, "Let me guess. Billy fucking Wintergreen," he spit out the name of his former partner and friend.

Felicity's eyes skipped back to his and it was enough for him to confirm his words. His face twisted in anger and he muttered something under his breath, but Felicity couldn't hear what it was. She faced the tree trunk again, standing astride as her fingers played around the edges of the blade.

"I know it sounds awful," she said slowly, looking down to the wet grass for a second, "But I'm not sorry that you had to kill him. I know he was your partner once, but he was a monster to me."

Slade took a step closer to her and she looked at him hesitantly, not sure of what she would see when she looked at his face after he heard her words. When she was finally able to see him she didn't find hatred directed at her as she expected. Slade looked at her with a mixture of determination, exasperation and a little bit of anger, but hatred was far away from the emotions that were swirling through his face.

"Our mission here," he said, his husky voice low and focused so she would understand him once and for all, "Was to extract Yao Fei from the Island and take care of the bad guys. The mission doesn't change just because Billy decided to switch sides." He shook his head and then looked away from her, scoffing, "He was like a brother to me. He was a godfather to my son," he was tense as he fell deep in thought, clearly remembering something, "I thought I could always count on him, but all it took was just a little bit of money and he sold me out," he shook out of the memories then and turned his head slightly so he could look her in the eyes again, "It's not easy to trust someone, when people you think you know betray you like that. So yes, Billy Wintergreen was a monster."

Felicity eyed him for a moment. Slade clearly was something else. She thought she understood him, labeling him and putting him in a selected box. She thought he was just a man seeking revenge on people who betrayed him so he could find a way off Lian Yu and she was wrong about that. Slade Wilson was a lot like her. He'd been through a lot of horrible things and he never stopped fighting for what was right. He was capable of sacrifices and he was a good enough man to chose strangers' life before a way that would took him home. Despite that he'd witnessed so many horrifying things and that he killed to survive, he still saw good in people and he was ready to take that risk. That kind of made her respect him.

She was lucky. He was the best man she could find to take Fyers down with.

Felicity bowed her head a little, acknowledging his words. Then she turned back to the tree, taking in a deep breath and readying herself for the next move.

"You know, I was wondering why Fyers never tortured people himself. Why Billy was always the one to do that," she said as she was lifting her arm up into a correct position, "When he burned me with that rebar I realized that he used someone else to torture people because he wouldn't be able to stop," her hand hung in the air as the memories of that night were fresh again in front of her eyes, "You didn't see his face," her voice wavered a bit, "The pure rage and fury in his eyes. It's like he wasn't himself anymore. If Oliver didn't call on the radio, he wouldn't stop on only one shoulder," she looked at Slade and his face was set, but his eyes full of understanding, "He's unpredictable, capable of doing anything. We need to stop him before something way worse happens."

Slade watched her for a moment, searching for something on her face. He stood close to her and it was the first time she really acknowledged how much older he had to be from her. He had to be at least thirty-five and she could see small wrinkles around his eyes. He had to laugh a lot before the Island, she could bet he had a nice laugh considering the deep and gravelly voice he had.

After a moment he sighed deeply and turned his body to the tree trunk, "You better start throwing the knives then. We'll need every skill we can think of to stop Fyers."

So Felicity threw the knife.

* * *

Target practice was a training session she really, _really_ started to hate by the time Slade took pity on her and decided to call it a night. She was throwing his stupid little knives for at least a couple of hours and it didn't go as smoothly as it started.

Apparently, Felicity started thinking and as Slade had told her, thinking shouldn't get in the way of throwing. She should do it quickly, precisely and on instinct - not try to recreate her first successful throw, thinking about every single detail of it.

And if there was one thing Felicity was bad at, it was shutting her brain off.

Slade hadn't talked much after their first heart to heart conversation. He observed her a lot, corrected her stance silently or threw some pointers when she made a mistake and the knife ended up on the ground instead embedded in the tree trunk. He stayed silent for the most of their way back to the plane, but he kept throwing her glances like he wanted to tell her something, but he wasn't sure if he should. At one point it got pretty annoying and Felicity threw him a long look, lifting her eyebrow in question and finally making him talk to her.

"Sorry for your eye again," he said, gesturing to the swelling on her face that right now was probably in a deep purple shade. She had to look _really_ fancy, "If I'd have known that Fyers would find out you were helping us, I wouldn't have agreed to your idea."

"It's okay, it will heal in a couple of days. Better safe than sorry," she said dismissively, not caring about that anymore as she eyed him again.

Slade didn't look like he just wanted to apologize to her. He looked unsure and a bit tense, his jaw set like he was just prolonging the moment until he told her what really was bothering him.

They were walking silently for a moment again and when she thought he wouldn't tell her what was on his mind, he broke the silence abruptly.

"You and me, we're more alike than anyone can see," his voice was firm, but there was an undertone to it that told her something else. Slade wasn't completely comfortable with the subject he wanted to discuss with her, "We'd been here long enough to know the real side of the Island. We know that the first thing on your mind is to survive; that mercy is the last thing we should show to other people, not to mention trust," he paused and Felicity was starting to feel really curious about where he was going with this, "Trust isn't something that can be gained easily, it can't be bought. It takes a lot to feel that you didn't make a mistake with putting your life into someone's hands and believing that you wouldn't be stabbed in the back in return."

Felicity bobbed her head, silently agreeing with him.

The Island taught her a lot of things, but the most important one, the one she had to remember every day was to don't trust anyone. To be on alert every second of the day waiting for someone to betray her. It was cruel to not have faith in people, but in a Purgatory like this you couldn't afford to make that kind of mistakes because the price to pay would be your own life. Felicity lived like that for a long time, but when she met Oliver and he opened her eyes, she was finally able to see that sometimes she could let her guard down and take the leap with trusting someone unconditionally.

So far she didn't regret it.

She was far away from Fyers camp, away from his rage and torture, she was as safe as she could be in a place like this and she had three people by her side that had the same goal as her: to stop Fyers and his operation. To come home.

Maybe letting her guard down would actually make some good for once.

Slade cleared his throat, catching her attention again and she side eyed him, still waiting to hear the point of his speech, "Oliver is still learning that," he said, making her eyes snap to him for a longer moment, curious why he brought him up, "He might seem like he's starting to understand the way everything here works, but he's still struggling inside."

"I know that," she said, accenting her every word. She knew Oliver was new to all of this and she didn't expect anything from him. He had to find his own way to learn how to deal with everything.

"So I hope you know he wouldn't set you up when Fyers proposed the exchange."

His words brought Felicity up short. She looked at him as he stopped, turning his body towards her and his face told her all she needed to know.

Oliver's strange behavior towards her since she woke up today, his keeping himself in a safe distance from her, the tension and not telling her more than a few sentences wasn't something she thought she just imagined.

Oliver was blaming himself for hesitating in the forest when Fyers told him to choose. He probably was blaming himself for what Fyers had done to her, seeing as he kept throwing glances at her injured shoulder whenever she was in the close proximity to him. Who knows what he had to be thinking when she was fighting with fever at night, when Shado was tending to her injuries. He had to be thinking he broke her trust when she already did so much for him; he had to be thinking she didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore.

Slade observed her as she gaped at him, completely speechless. She would never thought that Oliver could care enough to feel this way about everything that happened, that somehow he cared about _her_ \- a stranger that helped him a handful of times - and now he felt like he lost her trust because of the selfish side of him that wanted him to pick the freedom he would never have anyway.

She shook her head, thinking how stupid he was thinking that any of this could be his fault, that she could hate him for wanting to choose himself.

"He might still be the selfish kid that washed up on this Island, but I can see how he's changing," Slade continued when she couldn't answer him, "He said he met someone when he was captured for the first time," he held her gaze and she knew he was talking about her, "Someone that told him he should fight. That he shouldn't give up if he wanted to come back home, someone that helped him see the light when all he saw was darkness. He told me that I should take that advice like he did."

Something fluttered in her stomach, making warmth spread through her body, filling her with a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time now.

Oliver talked to Slade about her, she had no idea how much he'd told him and it should make her feel uncomfortable, but all it did was make her feel appreciated. _Cared for_. Oliver could have thrown her advice away, he could have laughed at her and call her crazy, he could have told Fyers she tried to help him that first day to get into his good graces, but he did none of that.

Maybe Oliver was exactly the good man she imagined in her head when she was thinking about him. Maybe she was just too afraid to admit that to herself.

Slade snorted then, bringing her back from her thoughts and he was shaking his head with a small smirk playing on his lips when she looked at him again, "That was a helluva pep talk he gave me, considering how I kicked his ass in training a few hours earlier," Felicity's lips tugged upwards imagining that sight, "That's when we decided to really try to stop Fyers, so I can say that you sure as hell know how to inspire, sweetheart."

Felicity felt her cheeks get warmer and the way Slade's smirk deepened when he saw her reaction was enough to tell her he knew how his words affected her. How Oliver's opinion about her affected her.

Slade moved, continuing walking again and Felicity followed. It was late afternoon and the air was getting colder as it seeped under her jacket, cooling her flushed after practice skin. She hoped it wouldn't be too cold when they could finally take a bath and wash their clothes like she was dreaming for the whole day.

They walked for another two minutes and they could already see the plane when Slade turned his head to her and said, "I think you should talk to him. You haven't seen his face when we heard your screams in the valley," he shook his head with a distant look, "Hell, I barely managed to stop him from running there unarmed just to save you," her body stiffened as she realized they had to be close by when Fyers was torturing her if they could hear her scream. She couldn't even think about what had to be happening in Oliver's head to make him react impulsively like that, "I think what happened in the woods only made it worse. Kid is beating himself up with the guilt and he won't stop if you two won't talk about this."

"He shouldn't feel that way," Felicity sighed, putting her hands inside the jacket pockets, "What Fyers did to me was not his fault and anyone in his shoes would consider taking an out. I am just a stranger to him."

That was all true, yet she couldn't help but feel like there was something more to it than she was seeing. The way he took all of this as his personal failure, as something he had to be regretting very much as she could gather from what Slade had told her and from what she had seen herself, she just knew there was more. But she couldn't understand _what_ it was. Why all of this had made him feel like that, why he was ready to run straight to the enemy's camp because she was in danger.

She could just simply brush that off as something every person would do if someone was in danger, in pain. But it wasn't true. Not on Lian Yu - place where everybody cared about themselves, place where you shouldn't seek out friends because you could find enemies instead.

The only answer to her burning questions she could come up with at this moment, was that Oliver might have become attached to her just like -in a surprising way - she was to him.

And she didn't know how to feel about that.

"Just talk to him," Slade said in a tone that suggested he knew something, but he wouldn't tell her what that was, "See what he has to say."

Felicity nodded grimly and kept her eyes focused on some tree in front of her.

This was getting harder - the caring part she buried inside her a long time ago. Now, when it was the integral part of her again, it complicated a lot of things. She was thinking too much about people and _feelings_ when she should be focusing on the mission. It messed with her emotions, forcing her to rethink a lot of things and somehow she was afraid that it would cost her more than she was ready to sacrifice.

Oliver complicated things.

Felicity sighed, trying to chase away the thoughts she didn't want to analyze now. She wasn't ready for that yet. Right now she needed to focus on fixing this thing - whatever it was - between her and Oliver. He needed to know she didn't blame him for anything. They needed to start with a clean slate so they could focus on coming up with a plan.

Felicity nodded to herself, her mind already set on what she should do first.

This would work; it _needed_ to work. Otherwise she had no idea where would that leave them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, how did you like this chapter? A lot of Slade/Felicity bonding which I really like. I feel like their friendship will be pretty awsome in future chapters, so I hope you'll enjoy it. Slade is the guy that knows what needs to be done, and right now he knows that things needs to be fixed between Oliver and Felicity. I said that what happened in the forest will have a big impact on how the things will go later and now the later has come. :) Felicity knows there's something going on between her and Oliver that maybe shouldn't be going on now and never. And she prefers to shut that out before it grows into this little monster that will not want to leave her alone later. But as many people know, when there's something you try to bury deep inside you, it will only come out sooner or later, and in this case it will keep poping out until the door that were supposed to be locked, turns out to actually be ajar all this time, and then Felicity won't be able to ignore some stuff anymore. We're getting into the Oliver/Felicity emotional aspect of this story and it's going to be awsome. I like how Felicity tries to deny stuff only to have them blow up in her face later. It's a great and a tricky thing to write.
> 
> Again, thank you for your support and I hope all of you'll continue to read this story even when things don't look bright and happy. I said that before, but maybe I should tell again that if you want to get in the mood while reading, check out my playlist for this story that is perfect for it. If you listen closely to some songs you'll even find spoilers for future chapters, just saying. :)
> 
> Please leave a comment if you feel like it, I'll definitely appreciate it, I enjoy talking to you guys. :)
> 
> P.S. One more thing. Now, that winter is over I have so little time to write anything, maybe an hour a day if I don't want to pull all-nighters. I'm writing two stories at the same time (one that wasn't posted yet) + prompts from my tumblr, and I don't know how much on schedule I can be after chapter 9. I post chapters every Saturday, but that can change if my time won't let me to write. I'll try my best to keep up with the updates the way it was, but if I won't be able to make it, I'll tell you, guys. I hope you can understand it. :)
> 
> Thank you for reading everything, I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Find me on twitter: @angelica_fit or on tumblr: http://seetheskyaboveus.tumblr.com/


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or the characters. The idea for this story is mine.  
> Soundtrack: http://8tracks.com/seetheskyaboveus/i-found-love-where-it-wasn-t-supposed-to-be-soundtrack-1  
> You can also read this story on FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11129309/1/I-Found-Love-Where-It-Wasn-t-Supposed-To-Be  
> Warnings: Graphic Descriptions Of Violence, Torture, Suicide Attempt, Possible Mature/Explicit Content In Later Chapters
> 
> A/N: Thank you everyone for understanding my long note in the last chapter. I'm glad no one felt offended and that now you see what I'm going to do with this story.
> 
> This chapter originally was supposed to be split in half, but I decided it makes more sense if it's posted as one. So instead of two chapters I'm giving you one, very huge one! Look at the word count: 11,873 - I have to say, I broke my rule when I said that I'm gonna write short chapters. But well, I don't feel bad about it... :)
> 
> Thank you for your comments, kudos and bookmarks as usual, they mean a lot! Currently I'm in a huge writer's block space and it seems like I can't get out of it no matter what I do, and my personal life and health don't help me with that at all. When I was writing this chapter I had a lot of ups and downs to the point that in moments it didn't felt right at all, but then I took more days, when I finished writing season one, and I fixed some scenes and I think it looks better now, more clear on what is happening with Oliver and Felicity.
> 
> Enjoy this one for now, more explainings at the end, and remember - only one chapter left before a short break and we're moving to season two!
> 
> This one was inspired Jaymes Young - I'll Be Good, number 8 on the soundtrack list. :)

* * *

_**Chapter Eight** _

* * *

Felicity woke up with a start, breaths escaping her lips in a short and heavy pants and heart hammering inside her chest. The remaining of her nightmare kept her trapped for a few seconds before it let go abruptly and she could see that she was safe and in Slade's plane.

She breathed out heavily, lying back on the makeshift cot in the far corner of the plane she took as hers. Cool air crawled on the bare skin of her arms, goosebumps appearing and making her shiver. Felicity dragged the blanket from her waist up to cover herself from the chill, she closed her eyes trying to calm down as much as she could.

It wasn't the first time she was dreaming about her time in Fyers' camp, but usually it was just a feeling haunting her at night, making her remember the pain and terror from her first days on the Island. This time it was more than that. She not only felt - she saw as well - _clearly_. Fyers leaning over her as he burned her with a rebar, her screams and unbearable pain and the terrifying feeling that she was alone and no one would help her.

She opened her eyes again, looking at the night sky through the hole in the roof.

It was just a nightmare. She was just reliving those horrible, horrible memories. It was about time for her mind to be in this calm enough state that would let the visions and thoughts of what had happened to her attack her.

It wouldn't be the first time. She was well familiar with that pattern.

A twig being snapped just outside of one of the exits put her on high alert in a matter of seconds.

Felicity looked around frantically, taking in the interior of the plane, looking for any potential threats but everything looked normal. Shado and Slade were asleep on the other side of the plane and the small lantern Slade had had to forget to turn off was throwing a dimmed light on every object inside the plane.

She heard footsteps then. Crushing of leafs under heavy boots made her head snap back to the exit as her gut twisted in anxiety, but before she had time to do anything someone stepped inside.

At first she saw just a dark silhouette of a tall and well built man, but when he stepped further into the plane, the dim light hit his face and her heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach as relief filled her body when she saw familiar features.

It was only Oliver.

Felicity plopped back on the makeshift cot heavily, breathing out through her mouth slightly louder than she intended. Her eyes focused on Oliver as he stopped, seeing that she was awake.

There was a small grin playing at his lips and his face was relaxed more than it was in the morning and the rest of the evening after she and Slade had came back from the target practice and Oliver tried to avoid her. The stiffness in his shoulders wasn't there anymore and Felicity guessed that the reason behind his changed demeanor was his surprising success at being able to learn how to draw a bow in less than a day.

He surprised everyone except Shado who wasn't even trying to hide her smugness that _she_ managed to teach him this and she rubbed her success in Slade's face for the rest of the night, making him even more grumpy than he was on normal basis. Felicity, on the other hand, gave up trying to make a conversation with Oliver after he'd given her a barely visible nod when she congratulated him.

He was giving her a cold shoulder and she didn't like it at all.

Seeing their exchange and the way Oliver acted towards her for the rest of the afternoon, Slade sent her a meaningful look, lifting one of his eyebrows at her in this annoying matter of his, and Felicity knew that everything he'd told her on their way back to the plane was completely true.

Oliver felt guilty and his way to deal with that was to avoid her.

Oliver's grin slipped from his lips when he saw the still slightly terrified look the nightmare had left on her face and she averted her eyes quickly, not wanting to give him any more reasons to feel guilty about. She was stubbornly staring through the hole in the roof, both of them giving each other silent treatment and both of them had different reasons to do that.

The whole way through the forest, to the spot Slade used to take a bath and clean his clothes Felicity tried to wrap her mind around the conversation she had with him earlier. She tried to think of the best way to approach Oliver and about what to tell him, but he didn't make it any easier and Felicity wasn't as good as she was before the Island at talking to people about important matters. She might not babble like she used to, but since she'd met Oliver some of her old habits found their way back to her brain and she didn't want to make this conversation awkward. She had been thinking about what to tell him for a long time, but apparently her genius brain decided to mess with her and everything she thought about sounded stupid or it lacked of meaning.

Felicity decided to leave that problem for later, but now, as the tension around them grew even more thicker from the awkwardness and annoyance, she thought that maybe postponing their talk wasn't such a great idea. She could have just cornered him when they were alone earlier, unleash her inner confident Felicity that put more than one mercenary in place and tell him exactly what she was thinking about his behavior, but she didn't.

The haunted look in his eyes whenever he stopped to look at her, thinking she hadn't noticed him doing that, was enough to calm her growing anger at this situation, she still couldn't fully understand. It was enough to keep her mouth shut and wait for him to come to her on his own terms because she knew she wasn't seeing the whole picture.

She just wished it wouldn't take him so long to make up his mind.

After another _long_ silent moment Oliver finally broke, sighing deeply and she heard him move. She wasn't looking at him so she didn't know what he was doing, but when the insides of the plane turned dark after a second she knew he turned the forgotten lantern off.

She heard footsteps again, this time moving quieter as they got closer and closer to her lying form. She tried to ignore him, but the curiosity got the better of her and her eyes followed his silhouette as he circled her, holding blankets in his hands. Felicity watched him as he - being very focused on his task - unfolded one blanket on the ground, close but not too close to touch her, and then he hesitated only for a short moment before he was lying back on it beside her, pulling the other blanket over his body.

She stiffened for a second, feeling the sleeve of his sweater brushing the bare skin of her forearm and he had to realize that he'd miscalculated the distance between them when his movements stilled. But to her surprise he didn't move away, relaxing into the blankets after a moment and that was when the stiffness let go of her body along with the slight surprise she felt at his sudden change of heart.

It looked like he made up his mind after all.

They were lying there in complete silence, listening to the faint sounds of wind rustling through the trees outside, watching the bright stars that looked especially beautiful tonight and trying to ignore Slade's heavy breathing from the other side of the plane.

It was strange. They were so close to each other, shoulders brushing with every breath they took and yet she could feel the distance between them like they were miles away. The last couple of weeks should pull them towards each other but she felt like she was closer to him when she didn't even know his name. This felt wrong - in fact, it shouldn't be like this at all.

"What do you see when you look at the stars?"

The quiet murmur of Oliver's voice made her turn her head to the left to see him. He was looking through the hole at the sky, his face soft, but it was hard to guess what he was thinking when his face was hidden in shadows and her glasses weren't perched on her nose. But his lips were set like the other times when she looked at them after she realized what was going on with him, and that was enough to tell her he was still thinking about it.

Felicity sighed, turning her head back towards the roof of the plane, knowing she had to be the one who made the next move. Oliver might be willing to talk now but he still tried to avoid the conversation they should be having.

She looked at the stars openly for the first time, taking in their brightness, and she said the first thing she remembered about them growing up, "I see the only place I never felt alone," her voice was quiet like his, but hers was small and a bit shy because saying those words felt too personal. She was surprised that she'd said them at all, but again it only proved to her how Oliver's presence made her feel. How comfortable she was around him and how she wasn't afraid to be open and honest with him either.

She sighed again, feeling his eyes on her for a briefest of seconds, sensing his questions he didn't ask but she didn't feel any pressure to answer them, it was more like a need to share this with him and letting him know he could open up as well if he wanted to. That she wouldn't judge him if he didn't judge her in return.

"Growing up, my dad was out of the picture and my mom loved to blame me for that," she started, not taking her eyes from the stars even for a second, "In high school, when things with her and life got too hard for me to handle I used to take our old car and drove as far into the desert as I could without staying too late outside of the house. I would always end up in the same place, parking on the side of the road and then climbing on the hood of the car and staring at the stars for an hour or so, not caring if it was raining and cold or extremely hot."

Her voice trailed off for a moment, remembering one particular night when she'd let the rain soak through her clothes and clung to her shivering skin and when she'd come back home she was sick for the next few days, making her mother hover over her for the first time in a long time, but Felicity didn't dwell on it, knowing it was only a temporary change of her mother's heart.

"There I was just a girl looking at stars in a huge and dark sky. No one looked at me funny because I wore the same shirt two days in a row, no one judged me for staying home on Saturdays and studying 'till I feel asleep with my head in a book, and no one blamed me for something I couldn't stop from happening," her lips turned into a sad smile and she let her eyes trail downwards as her head tilted to the side and Oliver's gaze met hers, "I should feel intimidated by the huge expanse of it, I should feel small and alone. But instead, in a sky so big I'd found one place where I felt like I belonged and it never stopped to amaze me."

Oliver's eyes were like lasers searing into her through the darkness around them, but no matter how intense his gaze felt it didn't make her feel uncomfortable. It felt like that night back in Fyers camp when he was locked in a cage and he was staring at her with that strange look she couldn't place. It felt like he was seeing her for the first time, like he could see her soul bare and open in front of him and understand her to her very core. And just like that night it made her cheeks fill with color at the sudden attention he paid to her.

The very close proximity their faces found themselves in could have something to do with that too.

She couldn't stop her eyes from flickering down to his lips that were slightly parted and she imagined how little it would take to close the remaining distance between them and taste him.

Felicity cleared her throat, chasing away any inappropriate thoughts her brain was filling with as she looked him in the eyes again and tried to not look anywhere else. She didn't even know where these strange thoughts came from in the first place. She couldn't think about him like that.

"What do _you_ see when you look at the stars?"

She repeated his earlier question and Oliver's gaze lost the intensity it had before, his lips gently tugging upwards in a wry smile as he thought about something. She felt relieved that he didn't notice her blush or any other reaction he pulled out of her.

"I see myself sitting on the balcony in Queen Mansion, drinking into oblivion as I tried to forget what a complete disappointment I was to my father," he said in a bitter tone as he wasn't looking at her anymore, his eyes turning back to the sky and watching it unfocused.

The air shifted around them and Felicity knew something important was happening. Something that could change everything between them. She could tell the subject of his father was something he didn't like talking about, something that had a great impact on how he led his life to this point and maybe it was why Oliver took everything that was happening around him as his personal failure. Maybe that was the reason he was blaming himself for things he couldn't stop from happening.

"Disappointment could be my middle name before the Island. That was the only thing I could do without even trying," he said slowly, his voice so quiet that she had to shift closer to hear him better, "Nothing I ever did was enough for my dad, he always wanted more from me, thinking only about the image the Queen Family had to uphold. So one day I had enough and I became the son he was always seeing."

Felicity lied on her side carefully, not wanting to put too much pressure on her shoulder, and she watched him intently as he was lost deep in his memories that weren't as bright as she might have thought when he'd mentioned that he came from a wealthy family.

"I started partying and drinking. Every night I had a different girl on my arm and the night didn't end for me until my father had to bail me out from a precinct. He always told me how much shame I brought on our family and how he expected more from me and I always ended up on that balcony drinking even more, staring into the sky and wondering why I was never enough."

He paused, taking in a deep breath and his gaze was focused again like he just realized he told her everything that he was keeping all this time for himself.

"Then I met Laurel and everyone thought I would change, but once a playboy always a playboy," he scoffed, moving his hand over his face and through his freshly washed hair, "This business trip to China was supposed to be my last chance to change and start taking my family obligations seriously before my father cut me off, because I was kicked out from another college my parents paid for me to get into. And look how that ended: I took Laurel's sister on the yacht with me to run away from commitment and it wasn't even the first time I'd cheated on her."

Oliver closed his eyes, shaking his head and pressing his lips together like he couldn't believe that this was his life and Felicity took some time to examine him and everything he'd just told her.

This was beyond anything she had imagined when she was thinking about him. The things he told her about what kind of a man he was before should make her feel wary of him, cautious because he could use her like every woman he'd used before. And she saw a glimpse of it that day in the forest when Fyers had proposed the exchange. She saw the hesitation, like his old habits wanted to take control and do what he would normally do: choose himself over everyone else.

The old Felicity wouldn't like that Oliver.

But that was the key to all of this - the old Felicity and the old Oliver. Things left in the past. They were different now.

What she'd seen in the forest that day was just it - the glimpse at his old self that was buried underneath the person he was becoming now. All Felicity saw now was a man with a rough past that tried to be different, that tried to be better. And she couldn't judge him for that.

She didn't know what exactly he was trying to accomplish with everything he just told her, but in a way it felt like he was trying to warn her, to show her who he was underneath the surface so she wouldn't be disappointed if one day he proved to not be the person she thought he was.

Just like his father was disappointed in him for his entire life.

And suddenly Felicity had a huge revelation.

Even when he didn't tell her directly why he was avoiding her she could read him like an open book now. She could finally understand him. Everything he just shared with her made sense now.

But Felicity wasn't going to say anything. She would wait until he was ready and he would take that step himself.

Oliver shifted to his side, mirroring her pose and unconsciously he found himself even closer to her than before. His eyes opened slowly, catching hers, and Felicity's breath caught in her throat at the pain she found in his eyes.

"I got her sister killed and my father - the man who always expected me to be better - told me he wasn't the man I thought he was. He told me to survive and right his wrongs and then he shot himself in the head, hoping that this disappointment of a son he had, for once would do what he asked of him."

Felicity opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it knowing that no words would make it any easier for him. What happened to him was horrible and she couldn't do anything to help him ease the pain that was weighting on his heart.

"This Island made me realize what a stupid and selfish kid I was. That I wasn't a good person at all," he kept looking at her, trying to make her understand what he meant without really saying it and she did. But she still needed him to tell her so she could help him understand that he couldn't take the weight of the world and carry it alone, "It was just easier to blame everyone about my failures than grow up and be responsible for once," his eyes closed and he exhaled deeply and it felt like he was trying to hold it together, to not fall apart in front of her, "My father believed in me, he wanted me to be better and I broke his trust just like that because I didn't like the expectations he had. You have no idea _how much_ I regret that now," he said in a broken voice.

And here they were. The trust issue that put them here in the first place.

Felicity moved up, bending her arm and resting her elbow on the blanket. She could see Oliver clearly now as she was looking down at him and his face full of regret. He still hadn't told her what she wanted to hear and she knew he would need the push she was trying to avoid so he could tell her when he was ready. But she couldn't wait any longer, seeing as this talk was pulling him into the darkness more and more with every minute that was passing by.

"Is that why you were avoiding me?" she asked, voicing everything she thought he was afraid of, "Because you think you disappointed me somehow? Because you think you broke my trust too when you hesitated in the forest?"

Oliver's eyes snapped open and he looked at her quickly, his lips parting in shock at her words and it was enough to tell her she was right. He sat up, putting his right hand on the blanket for support and his knees bumped lightly into her hip.

She watched him calmly, her face open so he could see what she was thinking. That she wasn't mad at him or worse - disappointed like he believed her to be. Oliver pulled in a ragged breath, visibly relaxing when he saw her expression, but she could tell he still felt guilty.

"Felicity," he said her name in this strange way of his like he was telling her whole sentences and not just one word. Like he was apologizing and pleading with her at the same time, "You are the person who helped me the most since I ended up here-"

"I didn't do much, Oliver," she interrupt him, shaking her head. She didn't want him to put her on a pedestal when all she did was give him a knife and a piece of advice. In fact, he did more for her than she did for him. She was free only because of him and Slade.

"You did _enough_ ," he swallowed hard not taking his eyes from her, "You gave me hope and you made me believe that I still have a chance to change who I am, to be a better man. Someone my father would be proud of," he grabbed her hand that was lying on her lap then and he squeezed it, drawing her eyes down to his touch.

It was her turn to swallow hard at the feeling of his warm skin enveloping her own, making her feel things that shouldn't be there at all.

"I need you to know that I would never choose freedom over your life. I need you to believe that."

Her eyes moved from their joined hands following a path over his arm, neck, his face that would get her in trouble one day, and stopping on his blue eyes swirling with so many unspoken emotions that she had to break the eye contact, composing herself to not show him something she would regret later.

This was turning into something definitely more serious than it should be and it scared her.

He ran a hand over his face, his shoulders dropping on an exhale that took all the walls guarding his emotions down, and when she looked at him again, the look in his eyes intensified like he was barely holding the things he wanted to say to her from spilling out of his mouth.

"I should have make you come with us," he said, shaking his head, "I should have insisted because I _felt_ it in my gut that Fyers would learn the truth anyway. When I heard your scream in that valley..." he trailed off, his eyes glazing over and she could see the dark shadow falling over him, like whatever he was thinking right not wasn't anything good, "I don't know what happened then, but I've felt so terrified only once in my life," he paused and she held her breath, waiting for the words that she just knew would change everything, "I felt like that when the Queen's Gambit sank, but now I wasn't terrified for my life or Sara's, or my father's," he shook his head, holding her gaze and showing her everything he felt in that moment, "When you screamed in pain I could almost _feel_ the agony you were going through, cursing through my body, screaming at me to do something, and the next thing I know is Slade tackling me to the ground and stopping me from running to you."

She couldn't look away from him even if she tried and her heart started beating so fast that she thought it could jump right out of her chest. What Oliver was telling her was nothing a stranger could feel to someone he knew only a few weeks. This was much more. This was everything she was afraid of and the worst part was that she could feel it too. And she couldn't understand how this strange connection created between them. How did this happen? Why now and why here?

"I couldn't do anything to help you," he continued, holding on to her with his vulnerable gaze and the hand that was gripping her fingers, like he needed to know she was here, alive and safe, and Felicity could only stare at him, taking in his words and feeling like everything he was saying to her was surreal, like she was dreaming, "After everything you did for me I just stood there and listened to Fyers torturing you and I've never felt so useless in my life," her gaze dropped to their joined hands, his eyes staring right into her soul being too much for her to handle, "I failed my father and now I failed you, Felicity," his voice broke and her head started shaking from side to side - the only way she could show him he was wrong, because her head was spinning too much to form any sentences right now, "I can't change what I did in the past no matter how much I want to, but I need to at least _try_ to fix this somehow," he said almost desperate.

She could see and feel his fingers trembling around her hand, like he was losing all his resolve and Felicity realized that it was probably the first time Oliver really stopped to think about everything that had happened to him, about everything he did. His past and the mistakes he made, the way he was with his father, the Island turning him into someone he didn't recognize anymore - all of this was clashing with everything he was feeling right now.

She could see it in his eyes, the despair at what he had done to everyone around him, at what he believed he was still doing, and Oliver didn't even try to hide that from her.

He felt broken and it was too much for him to handle. Too consuming and too sudden, leaving him in pieces in front of her like he didn't know who he was anymore.

"I don't want to be a disappointment anymore. Especially not to you."

He confessed slowly, the words making her gaze shift back to his eyes and they were so painfully honest, so tired of how this was making him feel that Felicity felt her heart clenching inside her chest, hurting for him.

Since the first day, deep down she knew that he was a good man, no matter who he was in the past. And now she could see it clearly, she could see that he had a good heart and he wanted to follow it to find his way back on the right track and follow the road that was right for him, for who he wanted to be.

But he didn't know how.

Felicity swallowed hard, feeling the heaviness of the moment settling on her shoulders. When she decided to help him, to show him how to survive the Island, she promised herself there wouldn't be any shortcuts. She would do this the right way, give him what she didn't have a chance to have. The help and support, a friend he could lean on in moments like this, forgiveness for what he felt he did wrong. And this was a moment she couldn't fail to do so because he was on the crossroads, confused and lost, not knowing what to do from now.

Felicity pushed herself from the ground, sitting up on the blanket the way he did before and her free hand moved, slowly covering his bigger one that was holding onto her the whole time. When the warmth from his skin seeped into her palm and her thumb started making small, soothing circles over his knuckles, stopping his fingers from trembling, his eyes fell shut on an exhale.

She watched him, the sharp line of his jaw visible more than ever when he finally let it all out, letting her catch him before he fell. His lips pressed together hard, like he was keeping himself from saying even more and her thumb started moving more firmly, to let him know he didn't have to keep himself in line anymore, that she was here and he could say anything he wanted.

He wasn't alone anymore and she didn't even try to understand her desperate need to show him that.

And when he opened his eyes again, the storm of emotions that fought between each other wasn't there anymore. It was a clear blue sky ready to accept everything - the good and the bad. Ready to take in whatever she wanted to tell him.

"Oliver," she started in a soft voice, "You are not a disappointment to me. You didn't break my trust in any way. I don't think you ever could," her hand squeezed his in reassurance when she saw a flicker of doubt appearing in his gaze, "I need you to stop blaming yourself for nothing," she said slowly so he would hear what she really meant, "Anyone on your place would hesitate. It wasn't an easy choice and I understand that. What's important is that I'm here right now."

 _With you_ , she wanted to add, but she bit her tongue in the last second, furrowing her brows at this sudden thought. Where did it come from?

Felicity shook herself out of it quickly, continuing where she left off.

"I don't care about anything else," she shook her head, "Even if you hesitated for a second, in the end you chose a stranger over your way back home and that tells me everything I need to know about you," she could see how uncertain he was. That made her smile gently as she said the words she hoped would help him see himself the way she was seeing him, "You're a good man, Oliver Queen. You did some questionable things in your past, but you have a good heart and it's time for you to listen to it."

And when her honest gaze didn't waver, when her voice sounded as sure as she hoped it would, she could see the doubt cracking behind his eyes and that was enough to tell her he was starting to believe she really meant that. He was willing to accept all his sides and fight for who he wanted to be from now on.

He wanted to try and now he had a chance.

"You're wrong, you know," he said after a moment of silence, making her brows furrow at him in question, "We aren't strangers anymore. We're partners."

Her lips parted slightly in surprise at the honestly of his words and she had to admit Oliver was right. The moment they started working together to stop Fyers they crossed that line, becoming something she couldn't name before. But she had the right word now. _Partners_. She liked the sound of that.

"And I hope that one day you'll look at me knowing that you can trust me with your life, that you can count on me no matter what. And I promise you," his voice turned lower and her eyes closed for a second, but the light caress of his thumb, grazing over her own, made them open again to meet his piercing gaze, "You won't regret that."

She smiled to herself because he sounded so genuine, so sure of himself like from now on he would spent every day on proving that to her. And because if Oliver was selfish before, now he was the most selfless man she'd ever met. He put her first even if he couldn't see that yet, still blinded by his desperate need to fix everything even when there was nothing to fix for him, and despite that he barely knew her, he knew exactly what was important to her. He remembered when she'd told him he couldn't trust anyone and now he wanted to prove her wrong. He had no idea that she'd made an exception and already broke that rule with him.

She didn't need to wait for that 'one day' he was talking about. She already trusted him and she didn't regret that at all.

Felicity chuckled breathlessly, thinking about how clueless he was and at his disoriented expression she shook her head, saying, "I already trust you Oliver and believe me I wouldn't say that if I didn't really mean it."

Oliver studied her intently like he didn't believe her, but she just grinned at him, not giving him any reasons to doubt her. After a moment his stiff posture relaxed completely and the shadows disappeared from his face making him look younger, more boyish, like that night in the cage when he was teasing her. It instantly made her feel this warmth spreading low in her stomach and she had to admit she really liked that look on his face.

"I'm sorry for acting all - you know," he shrugged, rubbing the back of his head and she could tell he felt embarrassed for making such a big deal out of it. She didn't want him to feel like that. He needed this talk, both of them needed it to start fresh, to be stronger together as partners and not make the same mistakes again.

"It's okay, you're forgiven," she said with a teasing edge to her words, not wanting to make him fall into this dark mood again, "But next time try to talk to me before you make any assumptions, alright?"

Oliver gave her a small smile, ducking his head as he was thinking about something and then he looked at her in a way he never did before. His head tilted to the side, his lips tipping upwards as his eyes softened looking almost... fondly?

"What?" she asked a little bashfully, feeling shy all of a sudden and knowing it was because he was looking at her like that.

He needed to stop doing that.

"Nothing," he said not taking his eyes from her. His focused gaze was putting her senses on fire and if he didn't stop doing that soon she would do something she didn't even want to think about, "I just realized that we're both screwed up."

Felicity snorted at that loudly and then her hand shot up to her mouth, stopping herself from making a sound as she heard Slade moving on his cot and mumbling something under his breath at the startling sound she'd made. When she was sure he wouldn't wake up she turned to Oliver to find him already smirking lightly at her reaction.

Felicity blushed, but that didn't stop her from smiling and agreeing with him, "Yes," she nodded, "Yes, we are."

And they were in so many ways. Some of them were different and some were oddly familiar, but it didn't change the fact that both of them were hurt and broken somehow.

Oliver's smirk dropped and instead there was a small, honest smile playing at his lips and somehow the air shifted around them again, charging with something much more serious.

His voice was deep and full of meaning when he spoke again, "But we wouldn't be here now if we weren't."

Her breath caught in her throat when she understood the message hidden behind his words. If those horrible things didn't happen in their lives they would probably never had a chance to meet. And if him, not pointing out this fact didn't let her know more than anything else that he was actually glad he'd met her she didn't know what would. It was enough to make her feel incredibly warm in her heart.

This was dangerous. _He_ was dangerous.

She started noticing that in their previous interactions, but this time somehow it felt more real. It was making her more aware that there was something that perhaps shouldn't be there at all. Her body's reactions to everything he did, his small glances sent her way whenever she was close or like now - his looks and smiles that made her more aware of herself, of the fact that she was a beautiful woman and he wasn't trying to hide that he had noticed that.

She spent a lot of time thinking about him lately. She felt drawn to him since the very beginning, but with time, as she got to know him better, the pull felt stronger and she could feel it slowly stepping into the dangerous territory she should be staying away from.

She had to swallow hard to cage that feeling inside her and she had to admit that the way he was looking at her didn't make it any easier. After a couple of seconds she was finally able to answer him, deciding it was better to not dive into the conversation she really didn't want to have now.

Or ever.

"We better go to sleep now before Slade wakes up," she said weakly, as her eyes were trapped under his like he was trying to make her admit that she liked him too, but if Felicity was good with computers, she was definitely better at denying things until she didn't have a choice but to face them.

And right now she still could run away from whatever this was and live happily ever after in the denial land.

Oliver had to sense that he had to push her too much when she clearly wasn't ready to admit anything yet, and she felt as relief washed over her when he nodded his head, letting her off the hook for the time being, "Tomorrow's gonna be a rough day," he said, clearing his throat with a strange look on his face and then lowered his head, looking at something.

Felicity's gaze followed his move and when her eyes fell on their still joined hands on her lap, her eyes went wide realizing that they were holding onto each other for this whole time.

She slipped her hand from under his and quickly took the other one that was covering his, trying not to think about how cold she felt without the heat of his skin. Not looking at him and mumbling a quiet 'goodnight', she lied back on the blanket and turned on her side with her back to him, trying to calm her hammering heart.

Oliver was silent for a moment. He didn't move nor he didn't say anything, he was just sitting there like he was thinking about something. Then she heard him shift behind her, and when he lied on his back she could feel his shoulder brushing lightly against her blanket covered shoulder blades. She hoped he didn't feel how hard it was for her to breathe right now when she could feel him trying to make himself comfortable behind her.

"Felicity?" she heard him whisper quietly and the air he breathed out fell on her loose hair sticking out from under the blanket, making her shiver because of something that definitely wasn't cold.

"Yeah?" she whispered back, glad when her voice sounded calm and not breathless as she could feel her skin erupting with goosebumps at the feeling of him so close to her.

"Thanks for listening."

She smiled into her blanket, feeling this warmth in her chest again, knowing he was thanking her for more than that - for understanding him and making _him_ understand some things as well. She closed her eyes as she answered him the only way there really was to answer.

"Anytime."

Maybe the denial land wasn't as safe for her as she'd thought. Maybe she just had to admit that she simply liked Oliver and what she was feeling was dangerously close to growing out of the friends and partners zone.

Maybe was a thing for another day, as for now she buried her head under her blanket and she let herself drift into sleep.

* * *

Maybe came sooner than she expected.

She had exactly two minutes after she woke up to pretend that her reaction to what Oliver had told her the night before didn't happen before he woke up very close to her and found her staring at him. He gave her a sleepy smile and turned on his back, stretching his arms as he mumbled 'good morning' in this really hoarse from sleep voice that made her insides swoop, and that was enough to put her brain on high alert as she tried to understand what exactly was she feeling around him.

To her relief she didn't have to wonder about that for too long because Slade and Shado were already up and apparently they'd prepared a small breakfast while she and Oliver were still sleeping. She used that excuse to evacuate and after that there wasn't enough time to really think about it because Slade insisted on another target practice.

That was five days ago and now as Felicity entered the plane after another quick target practice she couldn't help but smile knowing that everything she felt around Oliver was finally sorted out.

Five days ago wasn't the last time she and Oliver had fallen asleep beside one another. It wasn't even the last time they'd spent half of the night talking about everything and nothing as their relationship changed, evolving into something more and she could easily say that Oliver was becoming a friend she didn't know she was missing.

Training with Slade wasn't much successful than the first day she'd threw a knife, but if he was good at brooding all the time, he was even better at giving her advices how to improve her technique and - to her surprise - how to sort her feelings out.

He never said anything directly, but she could see him watching her and Oliver's growing interactions with this always present smirk of his and he liked to tease her about that using only his knowing eyes and witty tongue. But he'd took her by surprise when the second day of their training session he started talking about living in the moment because they never knew how much time they had left before something bad happened. Especially now as they were trapped on the Island.

So Felicity took his advice only doing everything in a completely different way than he probably had meant.

Felicity lived in the moment and every night when Oliver sat beside her she collected every feeling she felt around him so she could do what she did best - analyze it later and come up with a conclusion to her problem.

Oliver told her more about his family. He told her about his younger sister Thea who chased him around the house all the time and he liked to rile her by calling her Speedy. About his mother who loved her children very much and had to live with a man who adored her, but couldn't stay faithful. He told her about his family's company and that he was supposed to be a CEO one day and honestly, she should have connected the dots earlier because she'd heard about his company before. Queen Consolidated had a place on her long list of possibilities of finding a job after she would have graduated from MIT. She didn't believe that this was just a coincidence.

When he started talking about his best friend Tommy she could see a glimpse at the Oliver he had to be back then and he didn't seem as bad as she thought he would be. Yes, he did a lot of reckless and stupid things. Yes, he was selfish and not the best man in the world. But Felicity had a feeling it was his way to show everyone that he didn't care about anyone's opinion, it was his way to hold the facade he took upon himself to annoy his father. And the more he told her, the more she knew he just felt lost and he couldn't find his place in the world because he didn't fit to anyone's expectations.

Laurel Lance though - the girlfriend he had cheated on constantly - was a completely different story. When he talked about her she could see that he loved her, but what she caught on almost instantly was that he seemed to not know _why_ exactly did he love her.

He told her many things about her - she was smart and about to be a lawyer, she was beautiful and Felicity had to agree when she'd seen her picture he always carried in his jacket pocket. She loved him even when he screwed up, cheated on her and did so many different things, and she always took him back, not taking any of the many chances she had to leave him. All of that sounded perfect. Laurel seemed like a perfect girl for a man like him, but it got her thinking that Oliver had a false image of what really love was.

Everything he told her about his relationship with Laurel didn't sound like a relationship Felicity would want to have, and she was almost one hundred percent certain that no one would want to be in a relationship like that. Constantly fighting with each other because you wanted other things than the other, never ending cheating and trying to change the other person - this wasn't true love in Felicity Smoak's book.

This was being in a relationship because of feeling comfortable and used to each other. This was highlighting the flaws and bringing the worst out of each other. This was spending the rest of your life trying to fit into expectations that wasn't anything close to what you wanted or needed.

She was sure that Oliver loved Laurel, but she wasn't so sure that he was in love with her and something told her that he wasn't aware of that yet.

But Felicity didn't say anything directly. She listened to him carefully, answering his questions when he asked for advice, hoping that one day he would realize that his plan to come home and fix everything between them would never work if he didn't face his true feeling. Because he couldn't be that delusional to not see that he wasn't in love with the woman from the picture if he kept flirting with Felicity every night.

And she didn't believe he did that because he wanted to use her like any other women he used before. He wasn't that person or at least he really tried not to be that person anymore. She could see that his desire to change was real and honest, so the only explanation for him to still live in denial was that he just simply wasn't ready to close the chapter he was living in for so long.

Maybe he was scared, maybe it was easier to be with Laurel and only wish to be the man he wanted to be deep in his heart. She didn't know what really was going on inside his head but she knew, when the time was right and he was ready to finally admit that, everything would get much more clear and better. Nothing and no one would keep him from reaching for the future he wanted for himself.

He just needed to be ready to take that step.

* * *

In these short five days they'd spent in each other's company she had learned a lot about him just like he'd learned about her, and the fifth night when it was cold and it was raining heavily they had to move from their usual spot under the hole in the roof to stay dry and safe from getting sick.

They were sitting with their backs leaning against one of the plane's metal walls and they talked in hushed tones to not wake their companions up. It wasn't anything unusual for them but somehow this night was the night when everything fell in place in Felicity's head and heart.

Oliver was a man she felt attracted to both on physical and emotional level.

Since the beginning she didn't hide the fact that she thought he was an attractive man, but when she saw him training hand to hand combat with Slade she finally could see the reason why so many women were so eager to spend their nights with him.

When she liked his icy blue eyes, his height, dimples that showed whenever he truly laughed and the scruff on his sharp jaw which already made him handsome, combining his impressive physique with all of this made his looks almost a dangerous combination.

He had muscles she could easily see when he was training without shirt on and his arms might not be as big as Slade's but they still were quite impressive. She'd seen much more experienced in fight men than him, but he still managed to move his body in a way that had her gaping at him when no one could notice her staring and maybe it sounded wrong, but the scars he'd got since he was on Lian Yu only made him look stronger and more attractive.

Felicity could say that she was on a dry spell for far too long, considering that the last time she was with a man intimately was in high school and then there was Cooper in the first year of MIT, but that didn't go far because of her leaving for the internship. She could say that finding someone attractive didn't have to mean anything, but why would she lie to herself?

She felt the physical attraction and that was blending with something more, something that wasn't strictly platonic and maybe involved feelings. The way he made her feel every time he smiled at her, this warmth spreading through her entire body when he was teasing her to make her laugh, only proved there was something more to that. And she knew that she wasn't reading the signs wrong, that it wasn't happening only in her head when he sent her one of those long and full of something looks, when he listened to her carefully like he wanted to catch every word that fell from her mouth or when she felt the connection that only grew since that first day they'd met.

She easily picked up when his teasing turned into flirting, when his touch started to linger more than maybe it should. At first his attention flattered her, but then she realized it wasn't only confusing her more than she already was confused but it was also confusing him.

Oliver was still trying to find himself on the Island. He was still trying to settle with what had happened to him and how it forced him to reconsider every choice he ever made in his life. He just started trying - really trying for the first time in his life and she couldn't be the one who would sabotage his chance to be better.

If she was someone else she would probably throw herself at him the first chance she got, but Felicity wanted to mean something more. She wanted to help him get through the Island, to be a friend he clearly needed and that meant she couldn't flirt back. She couldn't tease him like that and push him closer to throwing away everything he just started working on.

That was the most important reason for her to shove any growing feelings to the back of her mind when they still were something she couldn't define yet. Him loving another woman was a second good reason to do that, but she had a third one that was pretty important to her too.

All this late night talks they had, this bonding over stories from their life and talking about things they liked, hated and missed the most. Getting close to each other and building a trust and connection that could be really strong one day. All of this made her realize that Oliver was something more than a man she was attracted to, that he was definitely more than just her partner.

Oliver was her friend and that meant so much more than anything else she might be feeling.

This building friendship, the bond between them, wasn't worth any potential complication that could come if she focused only on the physical aspect of their relationship. The emotional part of their connection made her feel comfortable and like she hadn't felt in a long time.

Felicity didn't think there would ever be a time again when she could really laugh after everything she'd been through on Lian Yu. She didn't think she would have a chance to feel safe and at peace in a place like this. She didn't think she deserved that. But all it took was meeting this one right person who'd turned her whole new life upside down and she again started seeing perspectives. She started believing that maybe there was still a chance to save not only Shado but herself as well.

Meeting Oliver changed everything for her so why would she jeopardize what they had?

When she sorted all this out, when she closed the door that weren't needed anymore, everything she felt wasn't that complicated any longer. She didn't feel confused when she looked at him, she didn't feel bad when he talked about Laurel and then joked with her like every other night, and she didn't feel perplexed when Slade started teasing her that she ogled Oliver as they worked out. She could easily admit that she just simply admired his physique like she admired Slade's and that finally made him shut up.

All it took was realizing that friendship with Oliver was more than enough for her and she already felt lighter somehow, better.

After that she felt a bit silly thinking that maybe she'd exaggerated with everything. Maybe there wasn't anything to analyze at all and she was just simply afraid that admitting she was attracted to Oliver would somehow change things between them. But it didn't change anything, it only made her more comfortable around him and now she had no idea what she was so afraid of.

One thing was sure though - since the moment she'd met Oliver she knew he would bring her trouble. And she wasn't wrong about that.

* * *

The change in her attitude towards everything didn't escape Slade's attention as he not so subtly pointed that out the fifth day, when he finally joined her in the plane after their target practice and found her smiling to herself. But Felicity brushed him off, telling him he should be glad that she finally started making progress in throwing knives.

She had to admit he was right that first time when he'd told her she was thinking too much. When she added all those mixed feelings into this it was even more harder for her to concentrate. But now, when her mind was clear, she could focus and listen to her instincts and everything was working like she wanted it to.

"Are they back yet?" Felicity asked as she put the knives back to the case.

Oliver and Shado were working overtime lately. Where Felicity's throwing skills were improving, Oliver's ability to shoot a bow not so much and it was creating tension between him and Slade who wanted to raid Fyers' camp any day now.

It was six days after they escaped Fyers and according to Slade it was six days too long they had spent in hiding. They needed to make a move before Fyers' team would finally found the wreck of the plane.

Slade was sitting on a wooden case with his back to her, sharpening one of his machetes and he didn't stop in his work to look at her as he answered, "Still in the woods, buying time as usual," he scoffed, "He won't hit the target today and Shado knows it. She'd rather sit in the woods all day than admit that I'm right."

Felicity frowned at his back, wondering why he got into such a bad mood all of a sudden when he was fine before. She knew he was still hung up over the argument all of them had a day earlier, she just couldn't understand why it had affected him that much.

Everyone was tense trying to come up with a perfect plan to rescue Yao Fei and stop Fyers once and for all. It took a toll especially on Shado as she shut everyone out and studied Slade's intel photos of Fyers' camp all the time when she wasn't training Oliver. Over those last days Felicity felt like she'd gained one friend but lost the other and she understood that Shado just wanted her father back, but what she was doing wasn't healthy and arguing with Slade over everything didn't help anyone.

The heated conversation from the day before was still ringing in her ears as she shut the case with the knives.

_They were inside the plane; Shado bent over a box, looking over the photos and maps again as Felicity cleaned the cut Slade left on Oliver's forearm after a particularly intense workout. The silence they were sitting in was interrupted by heavy footsteps and then Slade stepped into the plane, throwing his machetes carelessly on one of the boxes._

_"Do you have the plan already or not?" he asked harshly as he came over to Shado and looked over her shoulder at the map she was studying, "Rescuing your father and stopping Fyers is not gonna be some walk in the park and you know this. They're not gonna allow us to just stroll on into their camp," Slade told her, annoyance clear in his voice and that made Felicity stop her movements to look at him with a raised eyebrow._

_Slade had become a great friend to her in the days they'd spent together, but whenever the topic of Yao Fei or Fyers came up he was acting like the only way he could get through a conversation was to piss off everyone around him. It made her want to smack him in the head every time._

_Shado ignored his attitude, answering him calmly, "Which is why we'll need cover."_

_Slade shook his head at her answer, "If both of us are infiltrating, who will provide that?"_

_"He will," Shado nodded her head at Oliver._

_Oliver glanced up in surprise when everyone looked at him and then locked his gaze with Felicity for a second, "Me?" he asked in confusion._

_Felicity looked at Shado equally surprised. Oliver might have been training with Slade hand to hand combat but the level of his skill was still questionable. He wouldn't be able to handle the very well trained mercenaries Fyers had on his team._

_Slade laughed at Shado's suggestion and looked at her, "He's not ready and the assault rifle is flushed. It's useless."_

_She put her hands on her hips and sent him a stubborn look, "We have a bow, arrows-"_

_"And no one capable of using them! You just stared training him," he interrupted her and then glanced at Oliver who, just like Felicity, was watching their exchange dumbfounded, "No offense, kid."_

_"No," Oliver shook his head with a full of understanding look on his face, "I was gonna say the same thing."_

_Felicity frowned. Both of them were right, but Oliver was actually starting getting better with the bow. He still couldn't hit his target, but at least his aim was closer to it than before. He started practicing with the bow only a day ago, thanks to Slade who occupied all of his free time with hand-to-hand combat. Maybe a couple more days of trying and he would succeed?_

_She wasn't going to lose her faith in him and Slade shouldn't do that too._

_Slade looked back at Shado, clearly ready to talk her out of her idea, "I think we should be spending our time trying to devise a plan, not lower our already slim chances of survival, " he shot Felicity a look then, his lips tilting into his trademark smirk and she instantly knew whatever he was about to say couldn't be anything good, "Felicity will be our cover," he said with confidence and she gasped soundly at his idea just when Oliver tensed beside her, "She's getting better at throwing knives and she knows how Fyers' team works on perimeters. She can handle a few grownup boys."_

_Shado looked at him like he was crazy, muttering something in Mandarin under her nose and he was ready to argue with her again, but then Felicity had enough of this ridiculous conversation and she used her loud voice to stop them from talking._

_"Hold on a second!" she practically yelled at them, her brows twisting with confusion and when Oliver wanted to say something, she grabbed his arm successfully keeping him silent, "Why don't you all calm down and let me talk for a change," Slade clamped his mouth shut and sent her annoyed look, but she stood her ground and stared at him and Shado as she got up from her place beside Oliver, "Good. Now listen to me carefully because what you're saying doesn't make sense at all," she said, running her hand over her face in exasperation, "First of all, I'm getting better at throwing into_ _**a tree** _ _. An unmoving target that can't hit me back before I manage to reach for another knife."_

_She glared at Slade because he knew that all; he was the one who was teaching her after all. He knew she wouldn't be able to pull this off. She started pacing then._

_"And second of all, even if I could do that, I still need to go with you two to take care of the missile permanently so Fyers can't make it work again somehow," she stopped between the three of them, her eyes leaving Slade to look at Oliver who was watching her silently all this time. He looked like he was agreeing with her and that made her certain that Shado's idea was the best of options they had right now, "I say we give Oliver a chance," her eyes locked on his, "I know he can do this, he just needs more time."_

_Felicity's voice was soft but sure and when Oliver wasn't convinced to this idea before, now she could see that her confidence in him made him believe in himself too. He smiled lightly at her and he wanted to say something, but Slade didn't let him do that._

_"We don't have more time, damn it!" he yelled, throwing his hands in the air in frustration._

_Whatever Felicity wanted to say to him next was interrupted by Shado, who walked over to the bow she kept on one of the crates. She grabbed it and the quiver with arrows, leveling Slade with a solid look and it was enough to know she'd already set her mind, "He'll hit his mark by tomorrow's sundown. If not, we'll do it your way," she walked over to Oliver and motioned for him to get up from the ground._

_Oliver hesitated and looked at Slade, not sure what to do, but he just shrugged, huffing in annoyance and then grabbed one of his machetes and left them in the plane to do what they wanted._

_Oliver got up, pulling the sleeve of his sweater down on his arm as Shado waited for him by the exit. Felicity took a step closer to him and he gazed down at her, waiting for whatever she wanted to say to him._

_"You can do this," she said softly, looking up at him and showing him she really believed that._

_Oliver smiled at her and put his hand on her shoulder - a move he enjoyed doing lately - and squeezed it gently, silently thanking her for her faith in him. After that he turned and left along with Shado._

_Felicity stayed in the plane alone, hoping that the tension between all of them that only grew with each day they spent on planning the mission would finally go away when the problem of Fyers would disappear from their lives.  
_

"Hi."

Felicity jumped, startled and looked at Oliver who just entered the plane. Shado followed suit and Felicity sighed, calming herself down. She was so deep in thought that she didn't even hear them return.

Oliver was slightly out of breath, bow still in hand and his messy hair was falling into his eyes again. She smiled at him when he stepped closer like he wanted to start a conversation, but the sharp sound of a rock sliding against metal made him look at Slade like he just realize he was in the plane as well.

Slade was tense for a moment, but then he relaxed, continuing sharpening his machete. He didn't look at them when he asked, "So how did our Robin Hood do? As expected?"

Oliver and Shado didn't answer and Felicity looked at them. They weren't looking at each other, strange looks on their faces Felicity couldn't place, but when Oliver glanced at her she could see he didn't do much better than any other day. She sent him a questioning look when the oddness was still present on his face, but he broke the eye contact and she felt a small pang in her heart, seeing him closing off like that.

"So back to the drawing board we go." Slade said, not trying to hide his irritation.

They heard a noise outside the plane then and it wouldn't be anything unusual if the four of them weren't in the plane together.

There was an intruder outside.

Slade stood up quickly, facing the entrance and Felicity saw Shado with a knife in her hand, moving to do the same just as her heart started beating wildly inside her chest. Oliver pushed her behind him, protecting her with his body and he tensed, ready to attack whoever was out there.

She glanced over his shoulder just in time to see Yao Fei entering the plane.

"Yao Fei!" Oliver exclaimed, relaxing at once, but he didn't step away from her.

Shado dropped her knife and ran to her father with a relieved look on her face. She threw her arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly.

Slade didn't relax seeing that Yao Fei wasn't a threat and Felicity sent him a searching look just as he frowned at her in the way that told her something wasn't right. When Shado finally pulled away from her father, taking a step back but keeping her hands on his shoulders, Slade moved closer, his eyes solely focused on Yao Fei and his hand leaning against the handle of his machete.

"How did you escape?" he asked suspiciously.

Felicity felt a pull in her gut, warning her something wasn't right and her pulse instantly picked up, knowing her gut was rarely wrong. When Yao Fei turned to Slade with a complete blank look on his face her heart stopped, knowing she was right.

"I didn't."

His words rang through the space between them and she didn't have time to feel the sting of betrayal because right then, Fyers' mercenaries stepped through all the entrances the plane had, rifles trained on them, ready to shoot.

Slade raised his machete just as the mercenaries effectively surrounded all three of them, not giving them a chance to escape. Felicity felt Oliver's hand reaching for her and she gripped his arm, trying to stay calm despite she knew what would happen next.

"You son of a bitch!" Slade gritted his teeth and pulled his machete back ready to struck Yao Fei, but a mercenary raised his rifle and hit him hard on the back of his head making him fell to the ground.

Felicity gasped seeing that as Oliver yelled at the mercenary and then knelt next to Slade checking how bad he'd been hit. Felicity could see some blood trailing down Slade's fingers as he clutched his head, wincing in pain. She wanted to step over to help him somehow, but Yao Fei grabbed her before she even moved and he pulled her harshly against his chest.

Oliver raised from his knees, his face full of anger when he saw how she winced at Yao Fei's strong grip he had on her, and when she unsuccessfully tried to break away from his hold Oliver moved towards them, full of determination to help her. He halted when Yao Fei took out a gun and pressed it against her temple, making her crane her neck as he pressed it harder.

She heard Shado's gasp somewhere on her left side, but she couldn't look away from Oliver who was staring at the gun pressed to her temple like he was barely keeping himself from attacking Yao Fei for what he was doing. When his gaze shifted and found hers, she gulped in fear at what was happening and at the intensity of feelings that were creeping through his blue eyes.

She was so scared and she knew he could see it in her eyes, but he couldn't do anything to help her.

This wasn't supposed to end like that. They were supposed to have more time. They were supposed to survived this. But Fyers won again and she was stupid to even hope they had a chance at all.

Oliver's eyes turned back to Yao Fei and she could feel his breath on her neck when he said the words that crushed her hopes, making her face the harsh reality that was her life now, "Your time on this island is at an end."

* * *

 **A/N:** This was a huge chapter, on a lot of aspects. Developments, moving forward in timeline, in their plan to stop Fyers' operation and in ending the way they did. The next one is gonna be really hard for you guys, some of you maybe follow me on tumblr so you probably remember my post about writing chapter 9 and my reactions to it. So yeah, it's gonna be bad.

So, the developments... Let's start with **Oliver**.

I think it was about time shit hit the fan, so to speak. To this point he never really had time to stop and actually think about **everything** he's done and what does that mean for him. And now, when so many things happened to him on the Island, bad things and good things like Felicity - who, he thinks, was hurt because of him, because of how he let _Ollie_ to take over for a moment there - it was the tipping point for him, the moment he finally broke. His past, his interactions with his family and the people close to him that made him the way he was as Ollie, clashed with what's happening to the Island Oliver and it was just too much. The talk he had with Felicity only proves it. This really was weighting on him for a long time now and Oliver wants to be someone else, someone better. He thought he already was becoming that person, but then - as he said - he got Felicity in trouble, she was hurt and he felt the same way his father always made him feel - a disappointment, a failure. This was a hard blow to him and he didn't take it well as you can clearly see. Felicity couldn't understand him reasons until she saw how emotional he was getting when he was talking about all of this. That's why it couldn't be brushed off as nothing - this was very important for Oliver, for helping him get through this and make him realize that even if he made so many mistakes and horrible things, even if he was selfish for his whole life, he doesn't have to be anymore. He can change and be someone he wants to be deep in his heart and this can happen now, because he _understands_ all of his mistakes, he _sees_ what he's done and **he** _wants_ to be better. Felicity only helped him realize that. This was a huge development for him.

Many times, when I'm rewatching the Island flashbacks (the earliest parts), and I see Oliver in there - it just makes me laugh how much of a kid he still is. How much of pre-Island Ollie he is even when he says he's gonna be different now and when Lian Yu is changing him slowly. Perfect exaples: Oliver getting involved with Shado, yet saying that he loves Laurel and that he's gonna come back to her. (Later one: when Shado was killed, he just got back with Sara barely a couple of days after Shado's death) In the moments where the situation is lighter, he teases Shado and Slade, makes jokes - some of which are making him look a bit silly and I can easily see the carefree Ollie he was before the Island. And I wonder how to change that, how to speed up the process of his character's development, what could drive him to the point where he really wants to change and be better, different - not only say he would like that. And I have the answer: Felicity.

Just like in the show, she's not gonna take his bullshit. She's gonna ask questions, challenge him, make him question things until he understands what he wants. - I said that in chapter 3, I think. And that's what's happening right now. This way we're not gonna have the Island Oliver that really still is in the major part Ollie. We're gonna have a character that wants to act and try harder, not after it's already too late, when he can only regret things, but before, where he still have time to try to make the right choice. He's gonna do the same for Felicity. They're partners now, remember?

Some of you were wondering how do I choose a moment that Felicity will fit into. Well, I'm rewatching the flashbacks a lot of times, I follow the storyline and I see where she fits the best, which moments are practically made for her character to come into the action. And when I put her in a moment, I don't just skip to another one, forgetting that she was there and changed someting that happened in a small way or in major way. The next scene I need to put her in is chosen well and it has to be already changed by her presence in earlier sequence. This is how the story develops with Felicity in the game, this is how it's changing and impacting on characters - especially Oliver - in a different way than it would without her in it.

 **Felicity:** This woman's mind is so complicated that I'm losing my way while seeking for answers lol. I think that's just the way, geniuses work. She finally understands Oliver or at least she thinks she does... What did that conversation reveal to her? (Besides the points I already put under Oliver's development, of course) It tells her that there's something growing between them that maybe shouldn't be there at all. And what Felicity does? She runs away while she still can. It's funny how she just shot that thoughts right away, settling for friendship and partnership between them. Let me tell you this: if she didn't went through what she went through on the Island, this probably wouldn't happen. The Island taught her that there's only survival. It's not a place for love and relationships, or time to even dare to dream about that. It's crueal and hard, not beautiful. But in all these beliefes she has in her head since the beggining, she clearly forgot one importand thing: Oliver has already changed her life. She's already let him in and he changed her beliefes about the most important things, like trusting someone, trying to live again, hoping for something better. He showed her how to see the light again and not live only in the darkness. So whose to say he can't show her how to love again, too? She has his friendship that is still growing, she has his support as a partner, so why not try something more, something that could be equelly beautiful?

She's scared - that's the most obvious and important answer. She's not ready for that too. Everything that is happening since she met Oliver is too fast for her, almost surreal because she was leaving in a world without hope, in darkness and then one day he stormed into her life and turned it upside down, showing her something that she thought she would never have again. Hope, support, acceptance, friendship, someone that could take care of her and show her she's not alone anymore. And this feels like a dream. She's still trying to get used to all of this, to the feeling that she has a purpose again, and throwing all those undefined feelings into the mix would be too much for her. Until she won't really believe that this is not a dream, that there are people that care about her and not want to use her or hurt her, she can't take that further steps into something more. That's why Felicity is thinking about everything like that, that's why she separates those feelings and puts them into this little boxes inside her head. She needs to feel in control, she needs to feel that she understands everything and it won't grow out into something she's not ready for without her permission. But all of us know that you can't really control your emotions, right? That's why this doors are not closed at all - she only thinks they're, because it's easier that way. As the title of this story says: I found love where it wasn't supposed to be - this journey is exactly that. Finding love - everything Oliver and Felicity ever needed - in a terrible place like this, having something that is almost unthinkable for them. This journey is long and difficult, but at the end it's everything they could ever wish for. :)

What do I have to say about our remining characters? If you noticed some lack of **Shado** , don't think I forgot about her or something - it was done on purpose. In the small flashback scene Felicity said that she feels like she gained one friend but lost the other, and it really feels like this. Shado's father sacrificed himself so they could escape and it's weighting on her, she wants to do everything to get him back and stop Fyers, and she's so consumed by it that she's closing off. It's not easy for her, soon there's gonna be a scene set in a flashback with Felicity and her that will give you a closer insight on her thoughts. What can I really say about **Slade**? He's just... Slade. You know how this guy is - intense doesn't even begin to cover it. As you can see, he was clearly mad at something in the last scene before Yao Fei ambushed them. Some of Felicity's thinking was right (about why he can be mad), but some of it was unrevealed for her yet, and if you payed close attention to that scene, you'll know it involves more people than just Slade. That's the only hint I'll give you - the rest is too much spoilery and it connects with something from season 2, you'll have to wait to see happening. :)

If you felt like I should have write more scenes for Oliver/Felicity, Slade/Felicity, Shado/Felicity, that actually shows the development of what happened between them in those past five days - don't worry! I skipped them on purpose, to show them to you in a different moment, a moment that will make everything more clear and help the story develop into a different level. Hint: what's a flashback story without actual flashbacks? :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope I didn't bore you, if I did then at least you have some insight on what's happening in the story. :) Remember - one last chapter before season one is finished!
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and as usual, if you liked it, please leave some comments and kudos! I'm grateful for bookmarks, too! :)
> 
> Find me on twitter: @angelica_fit or on tumblr: http://seetheskyaboveus.tumblr.com/


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or the characters. The idea for this story is mine.  
> Soundtrack: http://8tracks.com/seetheskyaboveus/i-found-love-where-it-wasn-t-supposed-to-be-soundtrack-1  
> You can also read this story on FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11129309/1/I-Found-Love-Where-It-Wasn-t-Supposed-To-Be  
> Warnings: Graphic Descriptions Of Violence, Torture, Suicide Attempt, Possible Mature/Explicit Content In Later Chapters
> 
> A/N: Chapter 9. The finale of season one. Warnings: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE, TORTURE.
> 
> So, we're at the end of the first part of this story. As many of you can say it was hard and painful, but also had some nice moments. Let's hope season two will get better. :D This chapter is really powerful in many aspects. It's long too (11,590). Remember that whenever something is hard for you to read it was even harder for me to write. I struggled with this chapter for the whole two weeks and I'm still not sure if I put a 100% of everything I have in me to make it as perfect as it can be. I hope you will survive it and won't have an urge to kill me!
> 
> Prepare for emotional rollercoaster, enjoy the chapter and please, read ending notes! :)

* * *

_**Chapter Nine** _

* * *

They were two minutes outside of the valley and no matter what lies Felicity told herself she knew her time of freedom and false hope would end the moment Fyers set his eyes on her again.

Yao Fei was smart. He didn't let them sit by each other while they were transporting them to the valley. The mercenaries bonded their hands and put a guard on each side of them, successfully blocking them from communicating with one another. But that wasn't enough. Felicity didn't get the privilege of staying with her friends for the last time. Yao Fei took her with him to the jeep, leading the convoy straight to where Fyers was.

Being separated from her friends only confirmed her worst fears, and she knew that whatever was awaiting for her back in the valley wasn't anything good.

She felt like she was dreaming. Like her worst nightmare was coming to life and she couldn't do anything to stop it. But this time it was worse. This time she wasn't the only one who was in danger, who would be tortured or brutally killed. This time there was Shado and Slade and Oliver - her best friend she promised to protect at all cost and the two man she started to care about so easily. They would be hurt and killed because of her, because she couldn't bear the thought of doing all of this alone.

If she only had stayed away from Oliver that day, none of this would be happening right now.

Felicity shivered when the camp in the valley came in sight and she knew that the fear that was taking over her body was nothing compared to the terror that would come when Fyers would lay his hands on her again.

The jeep and the truck with mercenaries and her friends pulled into the camp and then slowed down to a stop. The camp was busy as usual and Felicity took a moment to take in the harsh reality she had never really escaped from. She could feel the darkness pulling at her, trying to claim her again and never let her go. She shuddered.

She didn't see Yao Fei stepping out of the jeep and circling it to open the car door and haul her to her feet. She stumbled and he pulled her from the jeep, dragging her to her friends who were being pushed from the truck one by one. Some of the mercenaries branched off, leaving only few to take over Slade, Oliver and Shado as they, most likely, would lead them straight to one of the tents Fyers was occupying at the moment.

Oliver bumped her with his shoulder when he was pushed forcefully to the side and she closed her eyes, feeling as he pressed up against her like he wanted to reassure her it was going to be alright. The heat of his body enveloped her slowly like a thick blanket and in a moment when she was scared the most, somehow he managed to calm her wildly beating heart.

Her eyes slowly met his alerted and full of worry gaze and she gave him a tight smile, her fingers itching to rub off the crease that formed between his brows. A whole conversation passed between their eyes, what to do now, how to make sure every one of them would stay unharmed, but Felicity knew that no matter how hopeful his eyes were looking and how determined his thoughts were, this was probably the end. The end of fighting and the end of trying to fix themselves. The end of wondering of what could and couldn't have been.

She closed her eyes briefly, savoring her last moments with him, his body pressed against her making her remember every single touch they shared, the way he made her feel and it was enough to make her feel better.

At least she had a small moment of peace in hell before all of this was over.

Yao Fei yanked her from her place beside Oliver and she grunted quietly, moving her legs to follow him, feeling as the brief calmness she felt disappeared, and with every step they took towards the middle of the camp she felt colder than ever before.

They took them to the same tent she had been working on repairing the launcher, Alan sitting by the table and operating a radio; searches running on his computer. He turned when he saw her coming in and the look of self-satisfaction was enough to tell her that he knew what she'd done. It was enough to tell her that now he was the one in charge, that he took her place and did everything Fyers asked of him.

His little loyal puppy.

Felicity glanced at the launcher standing just outside the tent. Despite that they had retrieved the circuit board, the big piece of metal still wasn't working thanks to the block she put on the ignition chip and no matter what kind of promotion Alan Durand got after she'd betrayed Fyers he still wasn't good enough to hack the short lines of code she'd written.

Felicity smirked in a short moment of triumph and Alan glared at her knowing exactly what she was thinking.

Oliver, Slade and Shado joined her then, the mercenaries backing off to the side with rifles on hand, ready to use them if necessary. Oliver looked around, his eyes assessing everything just like Slade had taught him and she felt a rush of pride going through her at how far her stranger had gotten.

Then his eyes landed on Durand, recognition flashed in his eyes and he clenched his teeth in anger, lunging at the man. The soldier behind Oliver jerked him back to keep him in place and Slade sidestepped closer to him, stopping him from making another move.

Felicity furrowed her brows, wondering how Oliver knew him but her thoughts were interrupted when Slade started talking.

"Save it," Slade told Oliver, "We don't have the luxury to be indulging in vendettas," he said with his eyes trained on Yao Fei who still kept a hold on her arm.

She could see that Slade was angry and this time it wasn't anything close to what she'd witnessed so far. This wasn't the usual 'angry and annoyed Slade' face she saw numerous of times, this time it was different.

His jaw was clenched so hard that she thought he could break it, his eyes dark and narrowed like he was already imagining every way he could end Yao Fei for his betrayal. And she understood him perfectly. This was exactly what she felt like the first time she'd met him. When she couldn't understand how a man that was supposed to be her ally could work with the enemy because his twisted way of thinking told him it was the best way he could keep his daughter out of danger.

But here they were. In the middle of everything he was trying to keep her away from. Betraying people that were helping him since the beginning and it looked like that didn't matter to him even a bit as long as he got what he wanted. Which he didn't.

The glare Slade send his way next was a look she would shudder under if it was meant for her, "You led Fyers right to us, you coward!" he spat at him.

Yao Fei loosened his grip on her arm at last and took a step closer to Slade, "Fyers was about to firebomb the entire forest just to eliminate you, but first he would come for her," he threw her a look over his shoulder, "And torture her until she would make the launcher work again."

He looked at Shado, who for the entire time since they captured them, was oddly quiet almost like she was in a trance and too shocked to do anything. Felicity felt dreadful seeing her like this, it was like she was looking at a shell of a woman she considered her best friend and when Shado finally looked away from the ground straight at them, Felicity felt her whole body fill with remorse.

Gone was the strong and confident woman she knew so well and sometimes she was jealous of. Gone was the woman that could kick Slade's ass whenever she felt like it. Gone was her friend who laughed with her by the fire, trying to help her forget at least for a moment where they were. Instead she saw Shado looking so small and scared of what would happen next. Her eyes flashing with so much hurt and disbelief at her father's actions.

Felicity was on the Island for a long time now, she'd seen the horrors of it and she'd seen how Fyers destroyed people beyond repair, but this - this was beyond anything she had witnessed so far. What made it worse was that Yao Fei did all of this for Shado. He tried to keep her safe in the only way he could even if that meant destroying both of them.

"This way you all have a chance, " he said quietly, keeping his eyes on his daughter and his words sounded like he wasn't sure who he wanted to convince more: Shado or himself.

"Well, pray I don't get the chance to repay your mercy," Slade replied in a low, threatening tone.

Felicity tensed the next moment, seeing Fyers walking their way. She didn't have enough time to mentally prepare herself to be in his presence again and as soon as he entered the tent she felt fear clogging at her throat.

Fyers looked Slade and Oliver over critically and then he scoffed, "How fitting," his hard gaze found her then and she stilled herself for anything that would come her way, "Everyone reunited for the end," he said with a dangerous smirk playing at his lips and she knew things would go even worse than she'd thought they would.

"The end of what? " Oliver asked in irritation, "What is all this for?"

Felicity looked at him only to see how much he tried to keep himself from attacking the man before him. How much it took him to stay still when Fyers paraded across the tent satisfied, like everything that was happening was some kind of entertainment for him. It only showed her more how twisted he was.

Fyers glanced at Oliver but ignored his question, turning towards Durand instead, listening to the airplane transmission Durand was monitoring over the radio. When Alan told the pilot to adjust his course and the pilot responded agreeing with him, Felicity knew something was not right.

Durand turned to his boss, taking off his headset as he said, "The plane will be within range of Lian Yu in 36 minutes."

"Good," Fyers nodded, "Keep tracking it."

"That's a commercial airliner, Fyers. It's not like it can land here," Oliver said with his bows furrowed in confusion and Felicity knew the look on her face had to mirror his.

Fyers turned his head to look at him, his face set and confident, "It won't be landing anywhere, Mr. Queen," he paused for a second, "I'm going to destroy it."

Felicity's mouth fell open in shock and the realization of what he wanted to do crashed into her hard. The missile launcher she'd been working on, the one she had rebuilt for him, would be used to shoot a plane from the sky and kill innocent people. For all this time she'd been thinking that Fyers wanted to start a war, that his employee funded this two-year operation because he wanted that. But shooting a plane from the sky? That didn't even cross her mind.

Somehow it was even worse than anything she had thought about.

The confusion was clear on her friend's faces and the fear she'd felt before disappeared when her mouth decided to run away from her like back then, when she still had been the old self, "This doesn't make any sense!" Felicity exclaimed, taking a step forward, "Why do you want to blow up a plane?"

Fyers turned his body fully towards her and Felicity halted, recognizing the mistake she made. His attention was now fully focused on her, something she really wanted to avoid for as long as she could. She gulped when he walked up to her with stony expression on his face, but her eyes didn't show him any fear she could feel at the moment.

He stepped right up to her, invading her personal space and she had to crane her neck up to look into his hard eyes, "When the New York stock exchange reopened after 9/11, the Dow Jones dropped nearly 685 points," he explained in a cold voice, his breath hitting Felicity's face with every word he said and she stopped breathing, feeling as her whole body stiffened in anticipation of what he will do and say next, "Can you imagine what would happen to China, the world's second-largest economy, if all air travel in and out of China were to be grounded indefinitely?"

And then it hit her.

The base on Lian Yu, an Island on North China Sea, close to China's mainland. The radio transmissions with the overseas employee that IP address she checked many times before always showed her the same two locations: Hong Kong and a place somewhere in United States, a place she still couldn't decode. The long-distance missile launcher she had to rebuilt and add many different parts that came from different suppliers - as the code on the back told her - so that no one would connect all of this together.

"You want to destabilize China's economy," Slade voiced exactly what she was thinking and he sounded weary, like he couldn't deal with this anymore.

Fyers backed away from her, shaking his head and she finally could breathe again, "It's not what _I_ want, rather my employer," he smiled under his breath and boasted, "We have enough missiles here to shoot down any aircraft approaching the mainland. That will _decimate_ China's economy."

Felicity's head started shaking from side to side on its own accord. She couldn't believe this. It was beyond anything she could have imagine. She had no idea what to do now, they were outnumbered and they didn't have much time to somehow escape and stop the attack. From what Durand had said, the plane was really close to Lian Yu now and Felicity's stupid brain didn't want to cooperate when she needed it the most to form some kind of a plan. She felt desperate.

She looked at her friends and the expression on their faces told her enough to know that they had no idea what to do as well.

Fyers smirked, seeing how he manage to outthink them again and then turned to Yao Fei, "This is a perfect operation. Especially once a rogue element from China's own military claims responsibility. You see, as inconvenient as you occasionally were, you were always worth more alive to me than dead."

Now she knew for what exactly Fyers wanted him to take the blame, why he kept him alive for all this time and blackmailed him into cooperation so Shado would stay unharmed. Fyers was a sick man and she despised him so much. She wanted to end him, to make him pay for everything he had done to them and other people. She wanted him to suffer.

A long time ago she would be terrified feeling this strong urge to hurt someone, feeling so much hate towards another person, but now, after everything she'd been through, after the Island tainted her soul forever she didn't care anymore. She welcomed that feeling coursing through her whole body and focused on it, so it would drive her straight to finding a way to stop Fyers forever.

"You should have killed me because I won't do it," Yao Fei told him quietly but firmly, looking him in the eyes for the whole time.

Felicity was too consumed by the swirl of emotions attacking her body and mind to recognize the mistake Yao Fei had made. So when Fyers lifted his eyebrow at him and spun around, punching Oliver in the face and then pulled his gun out, it was already too late for her to do anything besides giving out a shocked shriek when he shot Slade in the leg and then Shado in the shoulder.

"Shado!" Yao Fei yelled and rushed past Fyers to her side, crouching next to her and covering her wound when she and Slade collapsed to the ground.

Felicity's wide eyes met Oliver's when he was forced down on his knees by one of the soldiers, a trial of blood coming from his split lip. She couldn't move and her heart was hammering inside her chest so hard that it hurt to breathe.

"I need you alive but I _can_ kill everyone you care about!" Fyers stated coldly, raising his gun again and this time pointing it at Shado's head.

"Stop! I'll do it!" Yao Fei yelled, holding up his hand. He took a shaky breath and looked down at Shado again.

Seeing him so unguarded and visibly terrified of what would happen next made her realize how serious this really was. How close to death all of them were and suddenly her legs couldn't hold her upright anymore. Her hand shot up to the table beside her to keep herself from falling on her knees.

"I knew your good judgment could be counted on," Fyers lowered his gun and steeped back as he said to one of his mercenaries, "Take him now and get him back into his uniform."

When Felicity looked at Oliver again, his eyes were frozen on the ground before him, his breathing labored and it was probably the first time she saw him so terrified. Not even the day she'd met him as they tortured him could compare with the look she was now seeing on his face. He didn't look like the strong man she was familiar with but that didn't mean anything when she knew she had to look the same.

She wanted to wiped that look from his face, to see his smile again and the way his eyes sparkled at her when he was amused, but it felt impossible. Like a distant dream she had a while ago that was wiped out by the terror that surrounded them.

There was nothing good left for them. Only suffering.

Yao Fei was taken then and as she watched his disappearing form, the ringing in her ears slowly stopped and she became aware of Slade groaning in pain on the ground. She looked his way to find him trying to fight off the soldier attempting to haul him up and on his knees. Fyers looked over at the disturbance and walked over to them, pointing his gun at Slade to make him cooperate.

Felicity's legs decided to work again when she heard Shado's pained groan as she was trying to sit up, cradling her injured shoulder. She moved intending to help her friend, thinking about how stupid she was to let herself be shaken up like that when her friends needed her, but before she manage to take another step Fyers' hand locked on her arm, grabbing her painfully and hauling her to the side, making her crash into his chest.

"And where do you think you're going?!" he hissed into her ear and Felicity flinched away at the venom in his voice, "Now, when we established Yao Fei's cooperation it's time for me to take care of you."

He dragged her with him to the table Durand was working at for this whole time and he pointed with his gun at the circuit board that was plugged to the computer, the window to enter the code to her block already open.

"Make this work and do it now before I lose my temper completely."

Felicity didn't make a move to do anything, her eyes watching the screen blankly. The block was the last thing keeping Fyers from fulfilling his plan, it was the last thing that made her still believe that they would manage to save all those innocent people.

"I said make this work!" he yelled in her face, shaking her violently and she closed her eyes, hearing the anger in his voice. Fyers took a deep breath then, calming himself down and when Felicity's eyes were still closed, he grabbed her chin between his fingers, squeezing it painfully and making her look at him, "I'll repeat myself only once, and you better listen to me, Ms. Smoak," he said in a threatening tone, not letting her look away, "Make this circuit board work again or, I _swear_ to God, I'll kill your friends slowly and _painfully,_ starting with Mr. Queen you grew so fond of."

Felicity's eyes flickered to Oliver who was supporting Shado and watching her at the same time. He didn't look afraid anymore. No, this time his eyes were set and focused, throwing daggers at Fyers for the way he was treating her. Shado was breathing hard, but when she met her eyes she nodded once like she already knew what Felicity wanted to do. Slade's expression was unreadable but she knew he would do the same. Her eyes met Oliver's for the last time and she tried to show him that she was going to be okay, that he needed to trust her.

Then she turned her gaze to Fyers, her eyes sure like never before, her voice low and barely recognizable as she answered him slowly, "Go ahead. Kill him. Kill _all_ of them," her eyes held his, showing him the fire that she suddenly had inside her, "See if I'll help you then."

Fyers narrowed his eyes at her, his gaze intense like he was testing her, trying to see if she would break. But Felicity stood her ground, knowing that if she blinked even once Fyers would know how false her bravery really was.

Fyers could kill all of them if he wished that, he almost did when Yao Fei put up a fight, but she knew that where Yao Fei wasn't the most important part of Fyers' plan she was essential to it. Without her, the missile launcher would not work again. Fyers needed her and if he killed her friends he would lose his leverage against her.

Fyers knew that but it didn't stop him from pushing her more.

"I don't think I have made myself clear enough," he said as he let go of her abruptly and stalked over to Oliver, pressing the barrel of his gun right to Oliver's temple, "Make the circuit board work or I'll _shoot him_ ," he said slowly like he thought she didn't understand him the first time.

Felicity's gaze flickered to Oliver for a second and his full of trust look was enough to make her draw another straw. That's all that was left for her now. Drawing straws and hoping that she had enough luck to get them out of this somehow.

"I don't think you have _heard me_ clear enough," she replied sternly, keeping her voice firm even if her insides were twisting in dread, fearing that this wouldn't work, that it wouldn't be enough, "I'll _never_ help you again."

Her heart was racing inside her chest, white noise filling her ears as she kept watching Fyers and he watched her. Her eyes were stinging from the effort it took to not blink, her neck hurt from straining it so her chin was high, showing that she meant every single word. That she wouldn't back away.

And then Fyers gave a short and cynical laugh, looking away for a second, the hand that was pointing the gun at Oliver's head falling away and with it her heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach, feeling that she could breathe again.

Oliver closed his eyes, breathing out slowly, his shoulders slumping with relief that it worked.

"Very well," Fyers nodded and came closer to her, menace flashing behind his eyes, "We'll have to do this the old way, we'll see if this will be enough to break your spirit," he said and his words made her shiver, her body reacting to the familiar threat on its own accord, "I have to say, I'm impressed," he continued in false amazement, "I thought we put you through enough of our special treatment to permanently divest that stubbornness out of you, Ms. Smoak. But it looks like I was wrong," he paused, his eyes shifting to the side as he thought about something thoroughly, "Or perhaps..." he looked at her again and smirked the way that always gave her creeps, "You just enjoy a little pain."

Felicity swallowed hard, but her eyes never left his even when a small part of her, the part that knew exactly what he meant, screamed at her to run, to do something, anything to not let him do this to her again. But she knew better.

This was a small sacrifice if it meant that innocent people would stay out of harm's way.

Fyers stalked over to Durand, drawing his attention from his work.

"Prepare everything," Fyers said, looking down at him, "You'll take care of her today. I have to make a call," he turned to leave, but then halted, his face dead serious when he looked at Alan again, "Mr. Durand, do not fail me on this. Do what's necessary to get that code out of her. Do I make myself clear?"

Alan didn't hesitate to answer him.

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Felicity sputtered as a wave of water forced her lips to part, invading her mouth and clinging to her throat. Her back hurt as she tried to pull her head free of the bucket full of ice-cold water, but a pair of strong and large hands was forcing her down, gripping the back of her neck painfully.

She screamed trying to force the water out, but the more she was opening up her mouth and the more she tried to draw in the much needed breath, the more water flooded her mouth, pressing against her throat, filling her lungs and making her feel like it was trying to rip her apart.

It was the third time Alan was doing that already, third time he dunked her head under the water to make her give up the code. But she wouldn't break no matter how much Shado screamed at him to stop, no matter how pained the expression on Slade's face was and no matter how much Oliver tried to fight the mercenaries off to get to her.

She wouldn't break and at the same time she didn't know how much longer she could take this.

Her vision started to waver, dark spots appearing in front of her wide open eyes and she fought even harder. She jerked and trashed under Alan's grip, her hands bonded behind her back couldn't help her, but one of her free legs kicked out and she felt a wave of satisfaction when she felt it connecting with something hard.

The next moment she was hauled back from the bucket and she choked on the water, coughing violently to get it out of her lungs. Her body was shaking as she was gasping hard in an attempt to take in every breath of oxygen around her. Her eyes burned as she blinked rapidly to clear her vision and the first thing she saw was her discarded glasses on the table on her side.

Finally she could hear voices around her, they were still muffled but they were slowly breaking through the piercingly ringing sound in her ears.

_"Stop it!"_

_"Just live her alone!"_

_"_ _**Felicity!** _ _"_

She focused on the sound of her name falling from Oliver's lips in a desperate manner. She winced at the pain in her throat and groaned, breathing heavily as she looked away from her glasses to meet Oliver's gaze with her still slightly unfocused eyes.

He was on his knees, his hands still tied up behind him but that didn't stop him from trying to get to her. His chest was heaving, messy hear falling to his blue eyes that actually had tears in them. And that was too much. She couldn't look at him and feel like he was going through the pain with her. She couldn't see his desperate need to help her when he couldn't do anything and she couldn't see the guilt she recognized in a split-second.

He promised he would have her back, that she could always count on him and now all he could do was kneel there and watch her suffer.

A hand in her hair jerked her head to the back exposing her throat and making her look up at Durand who was staring at her with his lips pressed into a thin line. She gave a heavy breath and then let out a sardonic, breathy chuckle seeing his red face and irritation in his eyes. He didn't know how to handle her.

"I have to say I'm impressed," she said slowly in hoarse voice as even talking was painful right now, "I didn't think you had it in you, Alan."

His only reaction at her jab was a small smirk before he grasped her chin and said quietly, "It's nothing personal, Smoak," and then he dunked her head under the water again.

She choked on the cold water as she didn't have time to take in a breath and she bucked under Durand's hands again. The fourth time. She could take this. Somehow she would have to take this. She gasped as she took in too many gulps of water and then screamed again, bubbles curling from her lips as she tried to get out. The shoulder that was injured in the last torture session crashed against the sharp edge of the bucket, dull pain she hadn't felt in two days shooting through her body. White noise covered her ears and she knew she wouldn't be able to take it much longer.

Her head left the bucket again and she gasped soundly, her stomach churning and her nose burning like never before.

"Tell me the code and I'll stop!" Durand yelled straight to her ear, exasperated, "Just tell me!"

" _No,_ " Felicity choked out firmly.

She barely had enough time to take in a large breath before her head was under the water once more.

" _Felicity!_ "

She sputtered again but this time it felt different. The pain in her throat was instantly spreading to her lungs and pushing and pushing, making her scream into the water, eyes unfocused as her head spun. She could feel herself going limp and she knew that it was too much for her body to take. The lack of oxygen in her lungs for the last few minutes, making it hard to focus on anything. She was going to lose consciousness and then most likely die.

Her movements weakened as she could feel all the energy draining from her body, cold sweeping over her and taking her under. The sound of water sloshing around her slowly coming to a stop and mixing with the faint muffled screams she knew belonged to her friends. To Oliver.

She was going to die. _Oh God, she was going to die._

She should be scared, she should fight for her life, but all she could feel was this strange peacefulness around her, calling her name and welcoming her in its arms. And when she felt that calmness surrounding her for the first time in almost seven months she didn't want to fight anymore. She didn't want to feel pain and despair, she didn't want to witness more people die, she didn't want to _feel_ anymore.

She always knew she would die on the Island and she'd made peace with it a long time ago. She only wished she had more time to save Shado like she promised. To see if Oliver would become the man he wanted to be.

Her vision tunneled, her body stopped moving and she floated in between like she was falling asleep. And then she was pulled violently, taken away from the peacefulness she craved so much, back into the world where everything hurt and nothing was right.

"Felicity!"

This time it was Shado who cried frantically, but Felicity couldn't answer her.

She fell from her knees to her side, face down as she coughed the water on the ground and then sputtered before she puked up every drop that she'd swallowed before. Her lips gaping open in desperate need to suck in a breath. Her chest expanding and sending a wave of pain crashing through her, drawing out a high pitch sound from within her.

"Just tell him the code, Felicity. Just tell him," Oliver pleaded with her in a choked voice and she could hear how helpless he was right now.

"I... I-won't," she breathed out, panting and resting her cheek on the cold ground, "I won't... do that."

Her eyes slowly moved up to catch him watching her with wide eyes, and then she saw the fire she like so much, starting to burn inside him like he was just shot with a dose of adrenaline. He gritted his teeth and she could swear he cursed at her stubbornness, "Damn it, Felicity!" he exclaimed, "He won't stop until you tell him and you just almost _drowned_!" his chest was moving up and down as he was breathing hard from the effort it took him to control himself.

She knew he was afraid for her, that his emotions were all over the place and he didn't know what to do to help her. She knew he cared about her and he needed her to be safe, but she also knew there was no other choice than to resist for as long as she could.

"I already told him the first part of the code," he said, swallowing hard like it was the hardest thing he ever had to do. To break her trust in order to save her.

Her mouth fell open in shock, hurt flashing in her eyes.

One night, when they were still in Slade's plane, she had been drawing the code with a stick on the ground to see if she remembered it correctly and Oliver found her doing that. She wouldn't have thought he would remember it, but it looked like he was more perceptive than he let her believe.

She closed her mouth and then opened it again, but he didn't let her say anything, "You're alive because of that," he said firmly, holding her gaze and the stubbornness in his eyes told her he would do it again if that meant Alan wasn't hurting her anymore. Damn his chivalry, Felicity wanted to smack him for that, "Tell him the rest. _Please_ , Felicity," he said quietly, " _Trust_ me," the tone of his voice sounded almost desperate again as his eyes were open and everything he felt, everything he thought, was for her to see.

She took in a breath watching him for a moment and he reminded unguarded for her examining eyes. It didn't take long to know he was sincere, that he didn't ask her to give away their last leverage against Fyers just to save her life. That she really could trust him with this because he had a plan or at least he knew something that would help them get out.

"Do it, Felicity," Shado said in a broken voice.

In the end it wasn't her that convinced her, that broke through her last restrains to keep herself strong so Alan wouldn't break her. It wasn't even Oliver whom she trusted and knew he wouldn't do anything reckless when stakes were high like that.

It was Slade that watched their exchange in complete silence, his body still as he was kneeling on the ground. His dark eyes were slightly narrowed and focused on her, a very familiar glint of fire hiding inside them. And then he gave her the smallest of nods, letting her know she should do it and she realized that he, Shado and Oliver knew what they were doing. That they had a plan she couldn't understand yet and she needed to trust them.

So she did.

She turned her eyes to Alan who was standing by her side, watching them carefully. She breathed in again as his eyes met hers and after a second of hesitation she bobbed her head, letting him know she would do it.

Durand smirked at her, clearly thinking he finally managed to break her, but he couldn't be further away from the truth. He grabbed her by her shoulders then and pulled her up from the ground. A small sound escaped her lips when her insides turned unpleasantly and when he cut the rope holding her wrists together she had to catch herself on the table to manage to stay upright.

She stood like that for a short moment, leaning against the table and taking in deep breaths to calm her body and get as much of composure as she could in those circumstances. She might feel and look like hell but that didn't mean she would give Alan the satisfaction.

When she felt that her legs wouldn't give away under her she took a step to the side, facing the computer the circuit board was connected to. The window to bypass the block was open like before and, just as Oliver said, the first part of her code was already typed in, the letters and numbers she knew so well beaming at her sensitive eyes brightly.

Felicity reached her hand to the keyboard slowly, almost like she was trying to buy them more time to avoid the inventible, but when Durand nudged her side with a gun her fingers landed on the first key and then started typing. When the last letter was in place her hands were shaking and she didn't know if it was from the adrenaline that was coursing through her body or simply because a part of her was still unsure if this was a good idea.

_Trust me._

She heard Oliver's words in her head and this was all that she needed to make the final step. She sucked in a breath and hit the enter button.

"Access granted," Durand read when the notification appeared on screen and he leaned against her shoulder, typing something and then unplugging the circuit board and taking it in hand. He smirked at her, "Thanks, Smoak."

She had a sinking feeling in her stomach that she lost her safety net, but then Alan was pushing her in the direction of her friends and she didn't care anymore. She landed in a heap of arms and legs between Oliver and Shado after a slightly more forceful push from Durand and she was instantly enveloped in the soothing sounds of their voices, checking if she was alright. Somehow her head found itself on Shado's lap just like then in the forest and it was then that Felicity realized how exhausted she really was. How everything was hurting and nothing was alright.

"Keep an eye on them until Fyers is back. I have to take care of this," Alan said to the mercenaries who were still standing in the back and then he was gone.

"You're going to be okay," Shado whispered, looking down at her and nodding her head, "We're going to be okay."

Felicity sighed deeply, knowing it was far from being okay, far from even believing that, but she didn't say a word. She felt someone looming above her and her eyes opened to see Oliver. His head was inching down towards her and her breath caught in her throat at the fire present in his eyes. He leaned even closer, his face almost touching her now, but before she could wonder what he was doing he tilted his head to the side slightly and his lips hovered by her ear.

"Thank you for trusting me," his breath was hot on her skin, warming her and making her forget the feeling of cold water surrounding her and trying to take her away from him. His beard scraped on her cheek when he talked quietly and she had to stop herself from humming at the pleasant sensation, "I promise you, we're gonna get out of here."

Then he stayed like that for a moment that felt like forever - even if it were just seconds - like he couldn't make himself to leave her side now, when she was close to him again. His short breaths falling on her skin and her heart beating wildly as it tried to suppress any feelings that shouldn't be there when he did something bold like that.

And then he moved, but before he backed away completely he looked her in the eyes again, the depth of emotions staring back at her, and she couldn't pretend anymore that all this time he was just teasing her, that she closed the doors which held all of those unthinkable emotions permanently.

His gaze was all the proof she needed to understand it.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you when I promised I would," he murmured with so much regret in his voice, but before she manage to break through the temporary speechlessness caused by her discovery and explain he didn't break his promise, that there wasn't anything he could do, Oliver already backed away, straightening his back and turning his head to his right, where Slade was sitting in silence.

And Felicity was lying there, with her head in Shado's lap, trying to ignore the knowing look she was sending her way, as Oliver's open but at the same time hesitant gaze, looking at her like he could see right to her very soul, was all she could think about. This vulnerability present on his face and this stupid messy hair of his, falling to his eyes all the time, all she could see.

She always knew he would bring her trouble. Since the first moment she decided to be a good samaritan and help the stranger who was screaming in agony.

And how ironic it was to feel like what just blew up in her face in full force was much more scarier than anything they had been through so far, than anything that could still happen to them. Because this shouldn't be happening. Not here, in a place like this, and definitely not right now.

She wasn't ready. He wasn't ready as well.

She had a plan since the moment she decided to fight again and _this_ wasn't anywhere close to anything she could think about going south. In any scenario she'd thought about the last few days, where she thought she'd sorted her feelings out, she never stopped to think that he could actually feel the same. And she didn't have a backup plan for _that_.

Oliver wasn't ready even more than her. He had so much on his plate right now, fighting for his life, becoming the person he wanted to be, loving the woman from the picture he still carried around. He couldn't just decide to let those feelings - whatever they were - to grow into this dangerous territory. He couldn't just decide to drop this on her in a moment when their lives were in danger and expect her to deal with it. To push through her neatly sorted thoughts and feelings, and acknowledge that everything he'd done for her, everything he'd said and showed her, had a meaning deeper than she ever thought it could have.

But even _if_ they made it out alive, there was no way they could do anything about this. They were too complicated, too broken. Even if they had more time she still needed to learn how to feel whole again, to know that every piece of her she was losing since the moment she'd been taken to the Island was back and in the right place. She needed to know that these last few weeks where she finally woke up and saw who she had become weren't just a dream. And Oliver had his _own_ path ahead of him which he needed to follow if he wanted to be the man she believed he could be. He couldn't let this connection between them to take over everything they needed to work on.

Right now this felt too far away from where they were now, a crossroad they couldn't reach no matter how much any of them tried.

Felicity felt like once more everything was falling apart around her.

* * *

Fyers came back to the tent a moment later, not letting her to panic anymore about what she just realized. Yao Fei following suit and wearing Chinese military uniform. His gaze found Shado and for a moment they could see the relief falling on him that his daughter was safe, but then his features stiffened and Felicity could see the man she'd met all those weeks ago.

Fyers didn't spare her a glance as he passed by them and she was grateful for that. She had no idea how she would deal with him now on top of everything that just happened. She was watching him as he started setting up a video camera on a tripod when Alan joined him, taking the task from his hands. When it was finished, he ordered Yao Fei to stand in front of the camera.

"The uniform suits you, Yao Fei," Fyers mocked him, but Yao Fei was unmoved. Fyers pressed the recording button, and stepped away from the camera, "Any time you're ready."

Yao Fei took a deep breath and started talking, "To the people of China and citizens of the world..."

Everyone's eyes were focused on him, everyone watching how he was saying the words Fyers probably ordered him to say. Felicity decided to push all the emotional stuff aside, to deal with them later if she was given the chance. She looked around the tent, assessing it with her eyes as Yao Fei was talking, and saw her chance. Something she decided to use to her advantage.

"I make this statement voluntarily..."

He continued as Felicity slowly moved from Shado's lap, sitting up on her knees. Her eyes took in the wound on her shoulder, but the shot was through and through and it didn't look dangerous. No one paid her any attention as she inched to the back, stopping slightly behind Oliver and Shado.

"... taking responsibility for the shooting of Ferris Air flight 637 to protest the People's Republic of China's treatment of me..."

Her heart was hammering inside her chest as she took a hold of the rope tied around Shado's hands. Her friend stilled, looking over her shoulder with a questioning gaze, but Felicity only squeezed her hand, letting her know she knew what she was doing. Shado turned back to watching her father as he proceeded to take the fall for the catastrophic events that they still needed to stop from happening.

"... for betraying and abandoning me to the Island of Lian Yu."

Her fingers were stiff from the cold and adrenaline, and the rope was digging in to her skin as she pulled on the knots, slowly freeing Shado's hands from the tight bindings.

"Consider this my righteous delivery of powerful vengeance," Yao Fei finished just when she managed to pull the last knot and then rubbed her thumbs over Shado's bruised skin.

Fyers stepped back to the camera, stopping the recording, then leveled Yao Fei with an odd look, "Thank you," he said and before anyone knew what was happening, he pulled his gun out and shot him in the head.

"NO!"

Oliver screamed in horror as Shado jumped forward crying out for her father, and the only thing that stopped her from running towards him and showing everyone she wasn't tied up anymore was Felicity that grabbed her tightly, pulling her back to the ground and hugging her as her wide in shock eyes stared at Yao Fei's body and the hole in his head.

"Oh, God," she whispered as her head shook from side to side, eyes not able to look away from the sight in front of her.

Her mind was frozen yet her body was moving without her knowing, hugging Shado tightly to herself, forcing her to look away from her father's dead body. Shado gripped her forearms painfully and shook under the sobs that took over her body and Felicity could only stare. Stare at the man that had turned her life upside down, at the man that only wanted to keep his daughter safe, making so many terrible things and mistakes.

She couldn't hate him anymore.

The only person she hated right now was Fyers who put his gun on the table beside Alan, watching the screen like nothing happened, like he didn't just executed a man.

Felicity gritted her teeth, holding her tears at bay. This bastard was going to pay for this. He would pay for everything he did to them, for any pain he had caused. She would make sure of that. She hugged Shado tighter, taking in her sobs and pain she was feeling, trying to give her as much comfort as she could, knowing that despite her trying this wouldn't make it better at all. Nothing could.

Shado didn't deserve any of this, she didn't deserve to lose her father like that, to see with her own eyes as Fyers pulled the trigger and ended his life.

"Sir, the plane is within range," Durand called, drawing Fyers' attention.

Felicity looked up, watching Fyers as he stepped closer to listen what Durand had to say.

"The plane's holding steady at 33,000 feet. That's the range for missile intercept, sir," he said, looking up at him.

"Lock missile one on target," he ordered, not paying any attention to his prisoners.

"Missile one locked on the jet's heat trail."

Shado's sobs stopped all of a sudden and Felicity looked at her as she straightened up, withdrawing from her arms with her eyes focused on Fyers. The wild look she had before turned into something else as her eyes narrowed at him, anger mixed with determination flashing in her gaze.

"Prepare to launch on my mark," Fyers said completely focused on his operation.

"Yes, sir."

Shado sent her a look and then met Oliver's eyes who nodded at her and then turned to Slade, silently communicating with him about something Felicity wasn't a part of yet.

"Prepare yourself, " Shado whispered in her ear, something dangerous present in her voice and then Oliver nudged her leg, catching her attention.

She looked his way, a bit confused at their behavior, not knowing what to expect and he turned his back slightly to her, giving her a clear look at what he was doing the whole time she wasn't looking at him. He had a knife in his hands and he was cutting his bindings, one last left to free his hands. She met his eyes and the determination she saw there was enough to tell her their plan was starting right this moment.

Even if she had no idea what the plan actually was.

Oliver cut his bindings then and jumped to his feet before anyone from Fyers' team knew what was happening. He sprinted towards Fyers, taking him by surprise and crashing into him, sending him away and then stabbed Alan in the chest. Twice.

Felicity was left dumbfounded for a split of a second. She knew Oliver was good now, Shado and Slade's training taught him a lot, but this? Moving in confidence when anger was driving him to do what needed to be done? Hurting another man without hesitation?

The Island was getting to him and she didn't know if she really even had a chance to protect him from that.

Shado jumping to her feet and kicking the attacker that was coming at both of them was what snapped Felicity from her thoughts. She moved, wanting to help Slade get out of his bindings but he was already launching himself to his feet, the adrenaline keeping him upright on his injured leg as he ran at Fyers like Oliver did before. Knowing that he could handle this on his own, she spun around finding herself face to face with one of the mercenaries.

She did the only logical thing that came to her mind then, knowing that she had zero chances facing off against him. When he lunged at her she jumped to the side, dodging his attack and when he turned back to her she kicked him in the balls with all the strength she had. He groaned in pain, but that didn't stop him from coming at her again, and if Shado wasn't there in the next second to take care of him Felicity didn't know what she would do.

When he finally went down unconscious she searched him, hoping to find something that would help her fight and protect herself. To her luck he had two knives, bigger than the ones she'd been practicing with but they would have to do.

"Fire!" Fyers' yell broke through the chaos around her and she knew they were going to be too late, "Fire the missile, now!"

She looked up just in time to see him drop the radio back on the table and take off outside. Shoving the knives inside her jacket, she looked around frantically, locating her friends, but they were too busy taking out the mercenaries to go after Fyers and stop him. She did the only thing she could do at that moment and took off after him herself, her lungs burning with every breath she took while she ran straight into the open space.

She realized how stupid her plan was the moment she was only two steps outside of the tent and two mercenaries started shooting at her. She covered her head with her arms and ducked, looking around for cover but the adrenaline didn't let her focus. A pair of strong arms grabbed her then and dragged her behind a high crate, forcing her to hide behind it.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Oliver yelled at her when she managed to catch her breath, "You can't just run out straight into the open fire! Stick with me!"

She looked at him ready to see fury in his eyes, but she had to do a double take when all she saw was that he was scared she could have been killed and he wasn't there. Felicity narrowed her eyes at him, feeling the uncontrollable urge to smack him. Emotions spoke through him, first when he gave up the code, then as he lunged at Alan, stabbing him like he was making him pay for what he did to her and now, when he jumped to her rescue instead of rushing after Fyers.

Whatever connection there was between them, whatever feelings he had for her - all of this clouded his judgment and that's why she thought it was dangerous to feel anything. They couldn't be selfish like that.

"Well, you were a little preoccupied and someone still needs to stop the launcher!" she hissed at him, feeling angry all of a sudden and then she tried to get up, but he jerked her back when a loud bang rang through the whole valley.

She looked up, her eyes widening in horror when she saw that the launcher fired the first missile.

"We need to reprogram it!" she yelled and grabbed his hand, pulling him with her towards the launcher.

Another group of soldiers came at them, shots firing from every side and they didn't have another choice but to drop down to the ground to take cover again. She needed to get to the launcher. Fast. They still had a chance to stop this, to save all those people. She just needed to get there and reset the chip.

And then Slade came stumbling through the tent's exit, firing machine gun he took from God knows where, like he heard exactly what she had been thinking.

"Go!" he yelled at them, covering their backs.

They didn't need to be told twice. Oliver grabbed her by the waist, nearly picking her up from the ground and pushed her forward as they ran towards the launcher, only one thought present in her head - to get to the control panel as fast as she could.

To her surprise - and relief - Shado was already there, breaking through the hatch of the panel. Oliver helped Felicity when she tried to get on the launcher and then jumped on it himself, looking between Shado and her urgently as both of them started pushing away the wires that were standing on their way.

"We need to reprogram the missile!" Shado shouted over the sound of shots the same words Felicity said to Oliver earlier.

Felicity nodded her head sharply, pushing away more wires. They needed to hurry.

"Hurry up! The missile is almost there!" Oliver's voice was full of panic as he watched the sky and the missile heading straight at the plane flying above them.

Felicity made the mistake of looking up, her eyes searching for the moving missile on the sky and she didn't see the mercenary who jumped up behind her and Shado, until Oliver shouted in warning, "Watch out!"

Felicity took a step back when Shado spun around, taking the attacker's gun and shooting him, but his body fell against the launcher's control panel, pressing the button that activated the launcher's throttle before he slipped away from it and on his way to the ground hit Felicity's legs, making her stumble back.

She fell from the launcher, hitting the rocky ground painfully just as the metal giant started moving forward, away from the base and where she was lying on the ground. Oliver yelled after her, but there was no time for her to chase them and stop the missile. She had to trust that Shado would manage to reprogram it.

Someone grabbed her forearms so suddenly that she screamed, taken by surprise. She didn't have time to do anything else before a soldier hauled her up and backhanded her across the face hard enough to make her hit the ground again.

She yelped in pain, feeling another bruise forming in place where the previous one just managed to heal almost fully. The soldier aimed his gun at her, but before he managed to pull the trigger the sound of a gun firing rang out behind him and his body jerked forward, face twisting in pain as the front of his gray jacked covered in blood in seconds. His body fell to the ground and behind him was none other than Slade with a gun still trained in position to shot.

She stared at him, frozen for a moment and then he smirked at her in this annoying way of his, "A 'thank you' would be nice," he said teasingly as he started walking towards her.

How the hell did he find time to tease her in the middle of a battle? His strange sense of humor was something she would never understand.

Felicity opened her mouth to say something, but then she saw another mercenary running straight at them. Slade had his back to him and he couldn't see the man, making it easier to catch him off guard, but Felicity reacted before the mercenary had a chance to do that. She took the knife she hid in her jacked and without a second thought she threw it just the way Slade had been teaching her. The knife impaled itself straight in the soldier's chest and she gasped in surprise.

She did it! She actually hit him!

Slade spun around quickly, looking at the soldier that fell to the ground and then he turned back to her with his eyebrow lifted.

"A 'thank you' would be nice," she echoed his earlier words a bit breathless.

Slade narrowed his eyes at her, clearly not liking how she mocked him. He grabbed her hand then and pulled her from the ground when she least expected it. She stumbled on her feet, trying to catch her balance, shooting him annoyed look at the same time.

"Thank you," he said gruffly, acknowledging her help and the annoyance disappeared from her eyes. She nodded at him, thanking him for saving her as well.

In the next moment they were surrounded from every side. Four soldiers coming at them and Slade jumped straight to attack, pushing her out of the way and taking the hit that was meant for her. He grunted at the impact of the mercenary's fist connecting with his jaw but didn't waver and sent some punches of his own, successfully taking him out.

One of the soldiers came at her, the two other dealing with Slade, clearly thinking she would be a piece of cake to take care of. The soldier's dark eyes were dancing with mirth as he circled her slowly, visibly enjoying tormenting her before he decided to finally attack.

She might not know what she was doing, but she wouldn't go down without a fight.

She took the other knife from her jacket, gripping it firmly with the blade facing her attacker, her eyes narrowing at him and she forced her heart to calm down, taking in a deep breath and praying that somehow this would work.

He laughed at the determination written on her face, clearly thinking she looked funny like that. A small and helpless blonde facing off a skilled mercenary.

And then he lunged at her.

She ducked quickly, crouching on the ground, trying to mimic one of the moves she'd seen during one of Slade and Shado's trainings. She took him by surprise when he didn't expect her to move that quickly just like Shado had taken Slade back then. Then she swung the knife, slashing his cargo pants and his thigh deeply. If she had more time to think about what she was doing, she would feel horrified how easy it was to hurt someone.

The mercenary yelled and stumbled to the side, giving her an opportunity to get back on her feet and send a weak kick to his stomach, that hopefully would push him to the ground. He wouldn't be a trained mercenary if he didn't catch her leg, blocking her weak attempt to harm him. He pulled her to him by her leg and she yelped, crashing into his chest, her hand with the knife already flying towards him to protect herself somehow. He grabbed her hand, twisting it painfully and she winced, cold dread filling her veins when her grip around the handle loosened and the knife fell to the ground.

"Look out!"

They heard an alarmed yell and both of them stilled, looking to the side. Slade was running towards them, his face showing so much fear and fury that for a second she thought she had to be seeing someone else. Then there was a loud swoosh dragging their eyes to the sky and they saw the missile coming straight at them.

Her eyes managed to widen in fear, Slade's distant and slightly muffled yells pushing through the blood rushing in her ears and then she was pushed to the side, the mercenary shoving her away from him as he tried to make a run for it.

And then, there was only the loud, banging sound of the missile hitting the ground, making her feel like her eardrums were going to explode and she was flying. The impact of the explosion threw her off her feet, the wave of hot air rushing towards her and crashing into her as she hit the ground so hard she could swear her lungs collapsed under the impact.

Her head smashed against something hard, a dull ache slicing through her skull, her vision clouding and before the darkness took over her completely, she felt something warm trickling down her head and into the tangled mess that was her hair. A white noise filled her ears and she realized it was going to be over soon.

She blacked out.

* * *

The sound of running water cascading over rocks was the first thing she heard again. The low hum of it was pulling her slowly from her unconscious state, her dazed mind starting to focus on the sound of it.

She was cold. _So cold._ Why was she so cold?

The ground underneath her was hard and uneven, the sharp edges biting into her spine, making her arch away from the uncomfortable feeling. She groaned at the sudden pain that shot through the back of her head and her left shoulder, the same one that was treated so brutally by Fyers.

_Fyers. Oliver. Shado and Slade. The operation. The missile hitting the camp._

She bolted upright, only to fell back on her ass when her legs wouldn't hold her weight up, her breathing labored and escaping her lips in loud pants. She whimpered then, her face twisting in pain. Her whole body hurt like she'd been fighting with a truck, but maybe facing off the missile hitting the ground so close to her and actually surviving it was supposed to hurt like that.

Where was she?

She looked around hectically and saw only darkness. She blinked thinking that maybe her eyes were still closed, but no, the darkness was still there, surrounding her from every side, only small, barely visible shapes of high stones could be seen in the dark space her wide eyes were staring through.

Where _the hell_ was she? The last thing she remembered was Slade yelling at her and then hitting the ground after the impact of the explosion sent her flying in the air. Nothing after that.

How did she get here in the first place?

Felicity crawled on her knees to the sound of the running water, her heart hammering inside her chest at the panic she felt because of not knowing anything. The ground was cold underneath her fingers, as she tried to navigate through the darkness, her hand hitting something slippery and she stilled, feeling the cold water running through her fingers. The smell of it hovering in the air and attacking her heightened senses.

She heard a sound then. A loud thud of some sorts, coming from behind her but it was muffled, like it was coming through a wall or something. Then she heard it again.

"Hello?" she asked tentatively, her voice sounding small, scared and hoarse like she hadn't been talking for a whole.

The sound was heard again.

"Hello?! Is someone there?" she asked louder, practically yelling this time.

The panic was gripping her body in iron grip and she was shaking violently from the cold and the fear. She had no idea what was going on. Why was it so dark in here?

The thudding came to a stop, like whatever or _whoever_ was making it, heard her. She stopped breathing, listening carefully and waiting for something to happen. Then she heard male's voice cursing at something loudly, but not loud enough for her to understand what the man was saying.

"Hello!" she yelled this time, turning around on her knees and crawling in the direction of the sound, "Hey! Over here! I'm in here!" she screamed and then her hand fell on a sharp rock and she yelped in pain when it sliced through her skin and her arms gave away under her, making her fall face first to the ground.

The sound of the voice was muffled, like the person it belonged to was walking away and that send another wave of panic crashing through her.

"Help! I'm here!" she yelled, pushing on her hands despite the pain that was shooting through her whole body, "I'm here!"

But the voice was just barely a whisper now and her ears could still catch it only because of her brain that was working on high gears. Then it was completely gone, only the sound of water hitting the rocks behind her staying with her in the darkness.

She didn't know when the hot tears started streaming down her cheeks, the pain pulsing through her body even harder and all she knew was darkness and cold and fear so great that she could barely breathe as she stared with wide eyes in the direction the voice disappeared in to.

Who was that? And why didn't he help her?

She was _terrified_. She was _so cold_ and everything hurt. She was all _alone_ in a place she couldn't even _see_.

Her jaw started to tremble and tears clouded the only shapes she could still make out in the darkness. She could feel the desperation and fear clawing at her body and she just wanted to get out. She gasped in shock at what was happening and then her gasp turned into a pained sob before she drew all the oxygen into her lungs and gave out a bloodcurdling scream that echoed in the dark space around her.

"HELP!"

* * *

 

 **A/N:** So... How is it going? How are you feeling? How many of you wants to kill me now? ***hides behind the laptop screen***

I know, I know. What the HELL, right?! What just happened?!What is this?! - wait for next chapter to get your answers, and that chapter will come after 2-3-week hiatus... ***evil laugh***

This was the hardest, darkest chapter I have ever writter, I'm serious. I'm still not over it and it's been a month already. Something to make it a bit better: it was the last one that had Felicity tortured like that...probably. No, seriously, now the things that will happen to her will be more on a psychological level. And somehow this will be worse than anything she's been through so far. A person's mind is a tricky place...

I know things don't look good, like at all, but I promise you that once we will get through it (just a few more chapters) everything will look a lot better for our favorite duo. I'll balance some of the darkest moments with flashbacks to the five days Felicity had spent in Slade's plane, it will show you a bit more how some relationships developed.

Didn't I tell you in the last chapter that Felicity's neatly kept closet with feelings will literally explode in the moment she least expects it? Well, it happened. Oliver was always bad at timing his emotional moments, there's no more perfect time to show a girl that there's someting going on than after someone almost drowned her and when they're in danger, right? Yeah.

Like I told you before - this can't be happening right now, Felicity is literally opposed to it. There's so many things to do, so many things to develop and change ( _psst_ , the Laurel problem). Oliver might be feeling something, but let's be honest, Oliver - or should I say Ollie? - is always feeling something. Without really thinking it through. How many times he got in trouble because of that? So yes, Felicity knows there's something going on, she feels that too, but she's grown enough to know that jumping into things straight ahead (if she wasn't trapped somewhere of course) is not a best thing to do. She was pretty mad and confused when she realized that Oliver cares about her more than he should, she doesn't like when things aren't goint the way she wants them to. She always has a plan, but this? Nuh-uh. She was literally thinking that Oliver was just teasing her for this whole time, the flirting was confusing her - that's why she was thinking about their relationship so much in the last chapter - but she was convinced it was harmless, because of Laurel and his history with women. And now bam - one look at his face and she knows she was _so_ wrong.

What can I tell you about the ending? Well, I'm sure it left you with a lot of questions and mixed emotions. But know this: you see the world through Felicity's eyes which means you know everything she knows, you see everything she sees - nothing more, nothing less. All the questions you have? She has them too! She has no idea what's happening, if her friends are alive and where are they, where she is, how did she get there and who was that man - just like you. You could easily see that in the last part where her questions became yours. The answers will come after the hiatus, in chapter 10. Sorry for that, I know you probably want to strange me now. This part was so so hard to write, I don't know if I showed properly how terrified and desperate she was - I hope I did, because I tried to imagine how would that feel if I was the one in a situation like that.

I'm really sorry for how painful this chapter was, for the losses, a lot of tragic moments, basically no breaks for our characters. Remember it was necessary and most of it happened in the show, so if you're following the flashbacks you can guess how things will go (of course guessing my changes are out of your reach :D)

 **Season two** of flashbacks picks up five months after season one, but for the sake of what I'm gonna write now I have to land somewhere 2-3 months after the explosion. It will be needed for the developments I plan to do, so when the five months mark hits and new intruders come to the Island we can be in pretty good place with Oliver and Felicity. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That's it for now, guys. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and as usual - and if you did - please, leave some comments and kudos! I'm grateful for bookmarks, too! :) If you have any questions about what I'm planning to do next, my other stories, about some developments in characters or you simply want to chat with me, twitt to me or hit my ask box on tumblr. I'm the most active there, especially tumblr if you want to know anything about my stories.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me for the first season, I'll see you soon!
> 
> P.S. I'll probably start my new series Arabian Nights & Starling City Romance featuring Al Sah-Him and our Felicity in the hiatus time, so if anyone's interested check my profile or my tumblr sometimes.
> 
> P.S.2. Can I just say how fun it was to see you guys trying to guess why Slade was so pissed and why Oliver couldn't look in Felicity's eyes in the last chapter? Really fun! Your theories were great to read and some of them hit really close to home. Thanks for making my week with that. If you have any more theories or something, you can always send them to me and we can chat about some stuff. :)
> 
> Have a great weekend! :)
> 
> Find me on twitter: @angelica_fit or on tumblr: http://seetheskyaboveus.tumblr.com/


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or the characters, everything belongs to its rightful owners. However, the idea for this story is mine.  
> Soundtrack: http://8tracks.com/seetheskyaboveus/i-found-love-where-it-wasn-t-supposed-to-be-soundtrack-1  
> You can also read this story on FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11129309/1/I-Found-Love-Where-It-Wasn-t-Supposed-To-Be  
>   
> Warnings: Graphic Descriptions Of Violence, Torture, Suicide Attempt, Dealing With PTSD & Its Mentions, Possible Mature/Explicit Content In Later Chapters
> 
> A/N: Firstly, I want to apologize for how long it took to write and post this chapter. I can officially say that this is the worst year in my entire life. And I am completely serious.
> 
> I won't be bothering you with all the drama in my life - there's a lot of it and if I had to explain everything this would be a really long author's note. This chapter is something I haven't done before and it's really dark. Felicity is going through a new and tough time in her life, and I hope you'll understand everything - especially when you'll see the whole thing, a couple of chapters later. It was hard to write and it was a really slow process, I've rewritten it like three times already because it was too heavy, too dark. In the end I decided to add some flashbacks to balance all the difficult stuff and I think it looks okay now. It blends well and shows what she's going through, what's happening in her head and the flashback are giving a nice insight and parallel on those stuff. I struggled a lot with this chapter and I hope it's not bad. I'm sure you'll be shocked when you read it so I'm asking you to trust me on this - I know what I am doing. Everything has a purpose in this story and what's happening right now to Felicity has the greatest one yet to happen. It will change everything for her. I knew I would write this since January, so really - just trust me. It'll make sense in the next chapter and later on. Of course, as usual, I will explain most of the things in the A/N's at the end of this chapter.
> 
> I want to say thank you to my friends Donald and Serena, who supported me through this hard time and didn't push me to write when I wasn't feeling like it. Their enthusiasm kept me going and I realized it's okay to take some time off and breathe a little before diving in to this world again. I love you guys and I'm grateful for your never ending support!
> 
> Of course, I wanna thank everyone who ever came to me on tumblr and twitter to drop me some well wishes and words of encouragement. This was really nice of you and it brightened my mood a lot when I felt the worst. Thank you, I love you!
> 
> I have to say that I don't think I will be able to post next chapters on schedule, it takes a lot of time (that I don't really have right now) to write and to not feel like it's too much I'm writing other things as well. So I'm asking you to be patient with me and if you can encourage me to work on my stories, because sometimes it's all I need to sit and write again.
> 
> That's it for now, I will let you read this really long (13K words) chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it, and not freak out too much. Remember: TRUST ME.
> 
> Sit tight. This one is a helluva ride.

* * *

_**Chapter Ten** _

* * *

Darkness surrounded her. Pitch black stains in front of her eyes, her blurry gaze still not used to the pinching sensation that appeared whenever she stared into the darkness for too long.

Sixteen days.

Sixteen long, painfully hollow and numb days. Or nights. But it didn't really matter, it's not like she had any idea what time of day it really was.

Felicity leaned against the cold and hard stone behind her back, feeling as another headache was slowly creeping into her skull like any other week since she'd hit her head on the rocky ground when the missile had hit the camp. Her eyes closed, trying to rest for a moment before the pain would be too much to handle, and she breathed out, relaxing her body as her oversensitive hearing focused on the soothing sounds of water flowing through the back of the cave she was trapped inside.

Sixteen days ago she'd woken up dazed and confused. She had no idea where she was, how she got here or what happened to everyone. All she'd know was the desperate need to get out regardless of the pain she'd felt in her entire body. The fear of being somewhere dark and unfamiliar had been paralyzing and for the first time in her entire life she had no idea what to do, what was going to happen to her next.

Somehow, this was far worse than anything she'd been through during her imprisonment in Fyers' camp.

* * *

_**FLASHBACK** _

* * *

After she'd passed out from screaming for help - the pain and the fear being too much to take for her injured body and frantic mind - she woke up to the feeling of warmth surrounding her. The dull ache in the back of her head, stinging in her palms and any other injury she had was taken care of and wrapped carefully in gauze, and Felicity felt like all the terror she felt before, the terrifying darkness, was just one of the many bad dreams that haunted her on the Island.

How naïve and stupid she was to think so.

When the pounding in her head lessened and her eyes were finally able to focus on the slightly blurry images in front of her, she realized that the place she was trapped in was a huge cave and it wasn't dark anymore. Bright strays of light were falling through the opening in the wall of the cave that was right in front of her. The fear evaporated from her body and she relaxed into the blankets that were tucked around her tightly.

Oliver had had to find her. He and Slade and Shado had had to hear her screams and look for her, and when they finally found her, they tended to her wounds like they had done many times before.

Oliver had taken care of her like he'd promised he would. She was safe.

That feeling disappeared just as quickly as it appeared when she heard a noise on her right side and her eyes moved to see where it was coming from.

There was a man crouching with his back to her, not further than five feet away from her and he wasn't anyone she knew. It wasn't Slade or Oliver, and it definitely wasn't Shado. Her heart started thumping, alarmed with that thought.

She didn't have her glasses to see him clearly - it was highly probable that they had been destroyed in the explosion - but she'd recognize anywhere the dark clothes he was wearing. The black balaclava pulled up on his forehead so familiar that she knew immediately she had to be far away from safety, far away from her friends.

Because the man that most likely had taken care of her injuries and was the reason she was here was one of Fyers' mercenaries and that couldn't mean anything good for her.

He threw a piece of wood to the fire, trying to keep it going as he studied some papers that were spread on the ground by his side. It looked like he didn't notice that she was awake. His form was bulky and she could tell he was tall even when he was crouching, and this was enough to tell her that he wasn't someone she should underestimate.

He was dangerous and she was in far worse situation than she could thought of.

Felicity moved her body slowly to a sitting position, trying to be as quiet as possible, her eyes trained on the man's back, afraid that any moment he could turn around and see her. Her heart was beating so hard and loud inside her chest that she was scared he could hear it somehow.

She pushed the blankets from her shoulders and they pooled around her waist, and the next moment she tried not to hiss when the side of her head throbbed, sending a wave of pain she wasn't expecting. Her face twisted at the unwelcome feeling and she gently touched the place her head was hurting. It was covered in gauze that somehow was very well secured around her injury, just to the side of her left ear, and it hurt. A lot.

She'd had to hit her head pretty badly.

The man muttered something under his breath in what she recognized as Mandarin as he turned fully to the papers spread by his side, and Felicity felt another wave of fear crashing through her. When he stayed focused on whatever he was doing, she pushed the blankets fully from her body, the chill of the cave attacking her instantly but she didn't care. She had only one thing on her mind: to get the hell away from here. Away from the unknown danger that was graver than ever. She could feel it deep in her bones.

She pushed on her hands and bit on her lips to keep herself from making a sound when the cuts on her palms stung under the pressure. She got up on her feet slowly, her eyes focused on the man all the time. A wave of dizziness crashed through her when she was finally standing, but she pushed through it, knowing that escaping was more important than any discomfort she was feeling in that moment.

Stepping around the small heap of blankets on the ground, she inched slowly on shaky legs to the opening in the cave that for her scared mind appeared to be so far away. Her hand shot up to support her weight against the uneven cave wall, the stone cold under her trembling fingers. The light getting brighter and brighter with every small step she took and she could already feel the cold wind finding its way to the cave, moving the lose strands of her hair away from her face.

And then her hand slipped on the stone and she lost balance, her shoulder crashing into the cave wall, making a sound that echoed across the space of the cave.

The man turned around on his feet, hearing the noise and when his eyes didn't find her in the place he'd left her, he cursed under his breath and his head snapped to the side, straight to the opening she was trying to get to. She gasped when his dark eyes found her slumped against the wall form and both of them froze just staring at each other.

Her wide eyes were watching him for what felt like forever, her breathing labored and she knew she should be running as fast as she could, but the panic filling her body didn't let her, freezing her into the spot. His gaze was piercing and angry when he found her eyes and she knew she was in big trouble.

The flicker of light coming from somewhere on his side caught her attention and her eyes slipped from his downwards, searching for the source of her distraction. Her gaze widened even more when she saw a hunting knife held tightly in his hand, the flames from the fire reflecting in the blade, making it look more deadly.

Her eyes snapped back to his for a second, the fear and scenarios of what he could do to her with the knife attacked her body so fast that in the next second she was pushing away from the wall without thinking, the adrenaline forcing her legs to move as she ran to the opening, away from danger and closer to her freedom. She could hear him behind her, yelling something as he chased after her straight away, his heavy footsteps on the ground making her heart beat so wildly that she thought it would jump out of her chest.

She was panting when she ran out of the cave, her hands pushing away from the stone as her head whipped from side to side frantically, and she could feel a sob building up in her throat because the only thing she could see were trees and high bushes. The only sound she could hear was the water cascading over the rocks somewhere behind her.

She pushed through the burning sensation she felt in the muscles of her legs and the throbbing pain in her head, and ran straight ahead through the thick bushes. The twigs snapping when she ran into them, some of them whipping across her face, the stinging barely felt because of the fear that forced her to keep going. She could hear him close behind her and she forced herself to run faster, dark spots dancing in front of her eyes and she knew her body couldn't take that kind of exertion yet.

She needed to get out. She just needed to get out.

Tears welled up in her eyes, making her vision blurry and it was enough to put her foot in the wrong place on the ground, making her stumble, her run faltering as her body swayed to the side. Before she crashed to the ground though, a strong pair of hands caught her, hauling her up, into the wide chest of the mercenary that kept her prisoner.

"No!" she half sobbed, half yelled at him as she pushed at his grip and bucked against him to get away. To do something, anything, because she refused to think it was already over.

His grip on her only hardened, fingers digging into her wrists painfully when he grabbed her to stop her movements and she knew there would be bruises. A growl of angry foreign words left his lips when she threw her head to the back, clipping him on the chin with the sudden movement and then it was like his whole resolve snapped.

One hand shot up to hold both of her wrist so strongly that she could swear her bones would crack if he squeezed a bit harder, the other one sneaked around her waist and he lifted her off her feet without a problem. Then he was moving back to the cave with her trapped in his tight grip, showing her how strong of a man he was, how she couldn't do anything to stop him from bending her to his will.

She screamed.

A loud high-pitched cry of pain, anger, fear and distress leaving her lips like it was the only thing that could still make her fight. She pushed at his hands, her legs kicking furiously as she screamed at him to stop, but he didn't budge, only hiked her up higher when she slipped down in his grip and squeezed her wrist tighter, making her cry out in pain.

"Help!" she yelled desperately, her voice carrying through the forest surrounding them, but even if someone was still on the Island they couldn't hear her because of the loud sound of water hitting the rocks she could see for the first time from up here.

It was a waterfall like the one she had seen once in the old camp Fyers had shut down a while ago and it was quite big. The water was falling down from a wide slot in the cave straight to a pond just below the small hill the cave was located on.

A hill that would be her prison because no matter how much she trashed around, trying to escape from the man's grip, no matter how much she screamed to the point she thought she would black out, the man wouldn't let go of her.

He pushed through the bushes she'd ran through before, the twigs already snapped in half and out of their way, and when her eyes landed on the dark opening in the cave wall a powerful wave of panic ran through her at the thought that she would be trapped in the darkness again. The dark spots were dancing in front of her eyes even more now, making it hard to see anything but she didn't stop fighting for a second, letting the cold terror take over her body and push her to move, to do anything.

And then they were stepping inside the cave again, the cool air hitting her face instantly. The darkness enveloped her and the faint light falling to the cave through the opening behind them was the only thing that kept her from losing it completely. The fire that was burning before, now barely glowing in the dark expanse of the cave.

The man lowered her down - her feet hitting the ground harshly, making a lot of noise - but he didn't let go of her, his grip as strong as it was before. She bucked against him again, this time with more force and that made his hands loosen around her wrists, a loud curs escaping his lips. The hand he had banded across her stomach slipped away and then, in the next second it came back, pressing the blade of the knife she'd seen before in his hand hard against the sensitive flesh of her neck.

And just like that all of her movements stilled.

A terrified whimper escaped her lips and she stopped breathing, fearing that if she swallowed or moved even a bit the blade would sliced through her skin. He pressed her tighter against his body in a way that made her cringe, but the blade on her neck stopped her from doing anything that would make him push it against her even harder. The blood was rushing through her ears and she couldn't hear anything other than that. When he moved, pushing her forward, her body was shaking in fear, a million thoughts running through her head, but none of them gave her answers to what he would do next.

She could hear him breathing behind her, warm puffs of air hitting the back of her head and his chest pushing at her back with his every inhale. He stopped in the place where the fire was burning before and when he let go of her wrists and pushed at her shoulders to lower her to the ground she had a moment of pure panic that he would use the embers to burn her like Fyers had once done. But when her knees hit the ground and he took the knife away from her neck, stepping away from her at the same time, the fear clogging at her throat let go abruptly and she sank to the cold ground, rubbing at the tender skin of her wrists, her wide eyes following the man's figure as he stepped to the papers splayed on the ground.

He pushed them aside, looking for something with urgency and she was already planning how to escape again, this time for sure. It wasn't an easy thing to do when her head was throbbing so painfully and the rest of her body hurt like someone was hitting her repeatedly. Her blurry vision couldn't get used to the dim lighting around her, making her eyes prickle as she tried to look for anything that would help her somehow. It was hard to breathe and she felt like she was floating, so close to passing out again.

The man turned back to her then, a long piece of rope in his hand and a determined look on his face. When he started moving towards her she was already backing away from him, her palms hitting the ground behing her back hard, eyes widening with fear as he moved faster, eating up the distance between them in two long strides.

He reached for her, but she ducked and kicked her leg up blindly, hoping that she would hit something. She heard him groan, more in anger than in pain, and she turned around quickly, trying to escape him on all fours. The next moment his hand was grabbing at her hair, pulling her head back and she cried out at the pinching sensation she felt in her skull.

She reached behind her, clawing at his hand to make him let go, but she realized it was a mistake when he grabbed her hand, twisted it behind her back and then forced her up and back on her feet with the grip he had on her. The sharp pain that shot through her shoulder was so sudden that she didn't have a choice but to stand up if she didn't want to have her arm broken.

He spun her around quickly, taking a hold of her other hand and before she knew what was happening he was binding her hands together. The rope was biting into her skin, making her previous injuries sting and hurt even more. But the hard look she found on his face was enough to tell her he didn't care. When he moved, dragging her behind him and then pushed her forcefully back on the blankets, she knew he didn't care about the injuries he had tended to earlier, too.

She lost her balance and hit the ground hard, wincing at the new wave of pain crashing through her. Tears were falling down her cheeks and she didn't even know when in all of this she had started crying. Her whole body was uncontrollably shaking as she pressed her tied up hands to her chest, her legs bent in knees and pushed close to her body as she tried to make herself as small as possible.

She watched the man carefully as he stalked away from her, one hand gripping at his jet-black hair, the other swinging in the air rapidly. He was talking angrily in Mandarin, words and expletives she couldn't understand, but somehow she knew they were meant for her and that only made her curl around herself even more, trying to protect herself from his verbal attacks as much as she could, but even that didn't help her calm down.

She felt petrified. She was trapped inside her body and mind, completely controlled by the fear and ache she felt all over and she couldn't do anything to make it stop. To feel like the person she was a day before.

Felicity was lost again and this time she didn't know how she would find her way back. If she could find it at all.

The man kicked at the papers he'd been studying earlier, some of them tearing in places and some flying in the air before they fell to the ground again, and even if the movement wasn't that sudden, Felicity was startled anyway, almost jumping out of her skin.

He cursed again and threw her a glance over his shoulder, eyes narrowed and calculating, but before she could shield herself from his gaze somehow he was already turning away, moving to the exit of the cave.

When he left the cave, her eyes were frozen in the place she saw him last before he disappeared from her sight. She didn't understand what was happening and when she heard a loud noise, like something heavy was being pushed over the ground, something pulsed through her veins like it wanted to warn her that something bad was happening.

And then she saw the light that was falling to the cave through the opening disappear slowly, something large moving in the open space, stealing the light away from her. And when what the man was doing finally hit her, her blood ran cold, all fears she had heightening and attacking her senses.

"No," she breathed out desperately, as the mercenary pushed the large stone more firmly into the place where the opening was, only a ray of bright light illuminating the cave now.

She jumped to her feet quickly, the adrenaline pushing her to jump straight to the stone, to stop it from trapping her in the cave, alone in the darkness. But before she managed to move her aching legs, she heard a loud grunt, like the man pushed at the stone with all the strength he had and then the stone fell in place. The heavy and harsh sound carrying through the expanse of the cave, making her realize she was trapped inside again, darkness all she saw around her, crawling under her jacket and branding her skin.

"No. No, no, no!" She felt the same desperation from a day before, tightening around her throat and making it hard to breathe. "No! Come back!" she yelled, her body starting to shake again.

She couldn't breathe, she felt like the fear was clawing at her insides, helping the darkness to get to her. Her chest was hurting like her lungs wanted to break free, the pressure more than she could take. Her breaths were escaping her lips in short and heavy pants, and she felt dizzy from choking on the air she could barely draw inside her body.

She was alone again. In a place that was unfamiliar, that screamed of danger. She was hurt and terrified, tied up and trapped in a cave by a man that had taken her from the valley and she had no idea why. She was left alone in the darkness and she didn't know if she would see the light again. If she would be free ever again. If she would see her friends, if they were even alive.

Her legs gave way under her and the blankets did nothing to break her fall, but the numbness she felt all over her kept her from feeling how much it hurt when she hit the ground again. The tears felt heavy on her cheeks and the ringing in her ears was so raw and consuming that it only made her see the hopelessness of her situation more clearly.

There was nothing she could do to escape this place. There was no one that could help her. No more hope no matter how blind, only darkness and trepidation.

Felicity curled around herself on the ground, sobs shaking her whole body violently through all the pain she was feeling, shock gripping at her, making her feel cold like she was never before.

"No, no. This can't be happening," she sobbed, squeezing her eyes shut tightly, pretending that all of this was only in her head. That she would wake up back in Slade's plane with Oliver by her side, watching her with his deep blue eyes and this barely there smile she loved so much.

But she wouldn't. The only place she would find herself in when she opened her eyes again would be the cold and dark cave she was trapped inside, completely alone.

This was her reality now and she didn't know if she could handle it.

* * *

**_END OF FLASHBACK_ **

* * *

Felicity remembered that day clearly, it was branded on her mind like a scar visible more than any of the ones she had on her body. She could never escape from what she was feeling that day, from all the pain and terror, and the horrifying feeling of being trapped. She learned how to live with it, how to not be consumed by it like that anymore, but she would never escape from how real all of this was. How it was the only thing she knew better than herself.

It's not like she had a lot to do in here besides staring into the dark space and thinking about everything, learning things she never thought she would.

The reality was her worst enemy.

The man had come back the next day while she was still sleeping, the desperation and pain exhausting her to the point her body had shut down on her again. She had woken up to the sound of the stone being moved away from the opening and the light that fell into the cave was like a spring of water in a desert - soothing her thirst for daylight and chasing away the fears that came with the darkness.

The mercenary hadn't do anything to hurt her which was the only reason she could even breathe in his presence, but he hadn't cut the ties around her wrists that day and somehow she knew it was his way of punishing her for trying to escape. He'd given her some water to drink and something to fill her stomach with and only then she'd realized how thirsty and hungry she really was.

When the terror she'd felt left her body and she had calmed down a bit she was able to take in the whole cave for the first time. It was large and high with big rocks randomly splayed on the ground and the water that turned into the waterfall outside was flowing through a wide recess in the ground, humming softly instead of making a lot of noise like the stream outside.

But the water wasn't what really had caught her attention.

While she'd been looking at the whole expanse of the cave, the high sharp walls and the shadows that fell upon every stone, Felicity had realized that there really was no way for her to escape from this place. There wasn't any slot in the stone she could try to dig through somehow, no crack in the walls that would tell her there was another opening somewhere, no light under the water - in the slot it was escaping through - that would tell her it was wide enough she could try to swim through it.

Nothing to make her hope again.

That hadn't change in those sixteen days.

Felicity shifted against the stone, breathing out heavily as she felt a stab of sharp pain in her temple. Since the moment she'd took off the gauze covering her injured head, the headaches only intensified. She had another scar covered by her dark hair that was small but a bit jagged, and it made her wonder how could she survive the blow she had taken to her head. She remembered she'd bled a lot and somehow she knew that if the man hadn't found her she would be dead by now.

In those sixteen days she had been here she had a lot of time to wonder about what happened and the obvious answers to all of her questions came the day the mercenary had given her the papers he'd been studying all this time. The broken pieces of radio, wires and computer parts he'd brought her were a big giveaway too. Although he talked only in Mandarin she could understand perfectly what he wanted her to do.

He wanted her to fix the radio and make a transmitter so he could communicate with someone - probably with what was left of his unit - so he could get off the Island.

It was only then Felicity had realized how she'd found herself in this forsaken cave. Her best guess was that he had to know her, he had to see her in the camp back when she had been still helping Fyers and after the explosion he'd found her lying on the ground, between the ashes and what was left of the camp, and he took her with him.

He'd helped her recover from her wounds so then he could use her as his personal technician like Fyers used to do all the time, and as long as she was doing what he wanted her to do he didn't touch her nor he didn't harm her in any way.

And she did what he asked her to do. For thirteen days she'd been working on repairing the radio, on building the communication line from the wires and parts he continued to bring her. She was a perfectly calm and obedient prisoner because she knew he wouldn't hesitate to hurt her or even kill her if she did something he didn't like.

It didn't matter that from the start she knew the radio was busted and it couldn't be repaired. It didn't matter that she didn't have her glasses to see anything properly or the tools to work with. She used her hands and her knowledge as best as she could because deep down there was still a part of her that hoped that one day she would find a way out. That if she bought enough time she would be free again.

Felicity was lucky enough that the man was not familiar with any electronic devices, that he had no idea how they worked. The situation the both of them had found themselves in was shitty enough that working on the radio for more than a week didn't look suspicious to him, and buying more time was all that was left for her.

After that day the man came back only twice a week, bringing more parts to work with and enough food so she wouldn't starve to death. He would hover over her as she worked, observing her like a hawk and it wasn't that easy to stay calm and not arouse any suspicions about what she was doing. He would stay in the cave with her for that two nights and she would spend it curled up in the corner, safely tucked under the blankets, watching his every move tentatively in the dim lighting of the fire he would start.

She never knew what to expect of him and even if he didn't do anything to threaten her again her mind was to wide awake to fall asleep in his presence, thinking about every bad scenario that could happen the moment her eyes would close.

Felicity never slept on those nights.

When the man wasn't staring at her hands as she worked slowly, he would sit in the opening of the cave, blocking the exit in case she wanted to try to escape again. He sharpened his knives, putting them on a display by his side like he wanted to show her how dangerous he could be if she would try to test his patience again.

It was the only time the fear of him was coming back in full force, making her shudder, but then all it took was a one, single look at the bright light outside of the cave and she would calm down, enjoying the brief feeling of warmth, knowing that the man would be gone again and the huge stone would be back, trapping her inside of the dark cave yet again.

On the sixth day the man had found a broken lantern, probably in what was left of Fyers camp. Felicity managed to fix it as best as she could and in the days he was gone the lantern was the only source of light she had to see anything in the darkness of the cave. The only beacon of hope that was left for her. She had to use it wisely, save the energy for the days she really needed to see something, especially when the fear of darkness was too much for her mind to take.

And there would be a lot of days like that.

She would wake up in the middle of the night, or she wouldn't be able to fall asleep at all, listening to the sound of water, to the sound of the wind blowing outside of the cave, hitting the stones and making her shiver. It felt like the whole cave was coming to life, the smallest of sounds would put her senses on high alert, cold sweat would freeze her body and she would spent the rest of the night with the lantern on, staring at every dark corner of the cave that looked suspicious. Terrifying.

Felicity knew what living in fear meant. The first weeks on this Island she'd had spent fearing of what Fyers and Billy Wintergreen would do to her next, waiting for it just so she could get this over with. But never was the fear as real as it was now.

Her days in this prison were going by slowly. She would wake up sometime during the daytime, eat the rest of the food the man left for her, drink some water from the stream and then she would use the lantern to work on the radio a bit, hoping that maybe she could bring it back to life somehow and use it herself. After that she would stare into the space, feeling as numbness took over her body and mind, making her think about stuff she shouldn't be thinking about.

Some days she would take a quick bath in the water that was flowing slowly straight to the slope it escaped through outside. The bottom of the recess was smooth enough for her to not slip on it as she was standing in the water. As she'd discovered on the seventh day the water wasn't as deep as she'd thought it would be. It was reaching just below her breasts and the coldness of it helped her think straight, helped her not lose herself in her thoughts that with every day were getting stranger and stranger.

And just like today, the sixteenth day of her imprisonment, the strange thoughts were back, creeping in with the darkness and the hollow feeling she was feeling constantly now. It was the only thing she knew besides the pain and misery, and it made her feel like she wasn't really here. Like her mind was trapped in a nightmare that lasted for far too long and she couldn't find her way out. Just the hollowness and numbness and loneliness. Nothing more.

Felicity flicked the switch on the lantern on and the cave lightened up, filling the space with bright blue light that instantly jab at her eyes, but she didn't close them, welcoming the feeling as it spread through her skull and dulled the searing pain of her headache. Her eyes flickered against the cave slowly, taking in the same things she was seeing every day, the water lapping at the edges of the rocks a few feet away from her.

A stray tear fell down her cheek and she blinked, forcing the prickling feeling in her eyes and the hollow, overwhelming emotions back inside her, locking them in a box that should never be opened in the first place.

She reached for a small piece of a sharp rock that always laid by the cot she'd made from the blankets, she twisted a bit to the side and she pressed the rock against the cave wall behind her. Her hand moved in a practiced move up and down, the sharp edge of the rock carving a straight line on the stone, the action pulling her deeper into the emptiness she was living in.

When she was done, Felicity dropped the rock back on the ground and her tired gaze took in the wall in front of her.

Sixteen straight lines beamed at her from the stone, mocking her, showing her how weak she was. And tomorrow she would put the seventeenth one to fit with the others, to show her how long it was since the last time she was free, since the last time she felt safe.

Felicity lied on the blankets, her knees drawing up and tucking themselves safely under her chin. A long and exhausted breath left her lips as she looked around the cave for the last time, her eyes watching it tentatively like she was waiting for something to come out of the darkness and attack her. Her hand reached over to the lantern, her eyes following the movement, but she hesitated when she was about to turn it off.

She knew she wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to face the darkness again, to let it consume her whole until she knew nothing else. To hear the rustling outside of the cave and other sounds that kept her up at night. To be alone with her terrifying thoughts.

She wasn't ready.

She was never ready.

She switched the lantern off.

* * *

_**FLASHBACK** _

* * *

The lightning struck just outside of the plane's metal construction, painting the sky a brilliant white and making Felicity jump in place where she was sitting on the ground.

"Wow, that was a close one," Felicity said, craning her neck as she stared at the rip in the roof, looking for any sights of the lightening that crossed the dark sky barely a second ago. "You sure we're safe in here?" she asked, not taking her eyes away from the sky as she clapped her hand at the metal wall that was behind her back.

"We're safe," Oliver assured her with a small chuckle as he sat down beside her. "It's not the first storm me and Slade have spent hiding inside this plane."

Felicity looked away from the roof meeting Oliver's gaze and the spark of amusement she found in his eyes told her that he found it funny how much she was afraid of the storm.

But she wasn't scared of it, she was mostly... concerned.

Storms on Lian Yu were rarely weak. The ones she'd had witnessed before in Fyers' camp always left a lot of damage and a simple tent wasn't exactly the best of shelters. Although she didn't have to be thinking about getting wet and sick this time, the plane wasn't the best option either.

But since they didn't really have any options at all it would have to do.

The sky lightened and a thunder rolled loudly, sending vibrations through the whole plane and her body, making her shiver.

"Relax," Oliver said gently as he handed her another blanket to keep her warm. "Nothing is going to happen."

Felicity nodded, scolding herself for her ridiculous behavior in her head. This was just a storm, nothing else. She pulled the blanket over her body and leaned back against the plane's wall, her right shoulder touching Oliver's and she shivered again, this time for a completely different reason.

The rain was beating heavily on the metal skeleton of the plane, the dull sound relaxing her tense muscles. The wind was lapping at the masking grid thrown over the exits, letting the cold air sneak in to their shelter.

It was loud. The storm was raging outside as Shado and Slade were talking hastily over the maps on the other side of the plane. It was far from quiet, noises blending together in the chilly night, yet Felicity could easily pinpoint the moment Oliver took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly, the air escaping past his lips visible in the cold night.

She was hyperaware of him.

It had been like that since their talk the night before, when she'd realized there was something between them that wasn't strictly platonic. This strange sort of connection that had her running for the hills, trying to pretend that nothing had happened, that nothing had changed. She'd thought that she could deny the truth as long as she wanted, but the moment she'd woken up this morning with Oliver's face barely inches away from her own, his slow and hot breath falling on her cheeks, warming up her chilled skin, she knew she was already deep in trouble.

She'd stared at him for the first five minutes, her eyes glued to his beautiful features and the astonishment that filled her body because it was the first time ever she'd seen him so relaxed, so vulnerable, made her panic.

He'd looked so young then, the thick stubble on his jaw not aging him for a second, only creating shadows that made him look like he hadn't slept in a while, but somehow even that couldn't make him look any less beautiful. The peacefulness she'd found on his face was staring right back at her and she'd been amazed once again, this time because of seeing how easy it had been for him to fall asleep beside her and not move even a muscle. To be unguarded like that, not caring if danger would find them.

The sudden feeling of longing had fell upon her as her eyes flickered over his sleeping form and her heart had ached as the feeling filled it up for the first time in a long time. As it had rattled at the cage her heart was trapped inside and she had to stop herself from reaching for him, trailing the tips of her fingers over his arched eyebrow, to feel if he was as warm as she'd imagined.

Her heart had ached, wanting to curl herself around him, to feel his solid body against hers, hiding her from the outside world, to ground her and to make her feel that she was alive. That her soul was still there, intact and waiting for someone to reach for it and make it shine again.

Her heart had ached. And she'd been ashamed of it.

She shouldn't have been thinking this way. She shouldn't have been wishing for things like that.

They were in Purgatory where good things like that didn't happen to people like them. They were lost and finding a way back to who they were, who they wanted to be was long and not easy. She was a shell that barely started filling itself with something other than darkness and despair. He had a girlfriend he was planning to come back to.

All those thoughts she'd had about him were ridiculous and unwelcome, spurred by a moment that anchored her in the craziness of their lives. This was nothing more than that. A blurry dream of something beautiful that you couldn't remember after you woke up, but the warmth and longing stayed with you for a long time after that.

This was all it could ever be.

Pushing aside those emotions hadn't helped her at all, but the pressure she'd felt in her chest lessened and she could breathe easier. Although her thoughts were buzzing, although her mind felt like she wasn't really awake, seeking for the beautiful dream she wanted to hold onto, Felicity had let it go, denying herself the luxury or pain - she couldn't decide - of feeling all those things, and she carried through her day, with her chin held high like she wanted to prove to herself that she could do this. That this was nothing, just her mind and body feeling lonely and that all of it would go away soon, just like it'd appeared.

But then Oliver would smile at her, this small special smile oh his, like it was just for her eyes to see, eyes sparkling with something alarmingly similar to what she'd seen in his gaze the night before, and all her walls would start to crack.

He would say her name in this deep voice and shivers would run down her spine because with just saying her name she knew all the things he wanted to say. He would touch her, his fingers grazing against her palm or his hand resting on her shoulder for a short moment, and her insides would crumble, fighting an internal battle with every side of her.

She knew she couldn't live in denial forever, but the panic that kept her trapped in a tight grip because with just one touch and gaze he could make her feel all those things didn't let her do anything, knowing better than her that she wasn't ready.

That she might never be.

Oliver turned his head towards her and she could feel his gaze trailing over her face just as clearly as the blanket that was draped over her body. Her eyes refused to meet his, staring at the wall in front of her stubbornly, because she knew if she looked at him right now her walls would crack even more, making it easier for all those emotions to flood her once again.

Another lightning cracked and this time her head flew to the side before she could stop herself, eyes finding Oliver watching her with a small smile playing at his lips. It wasn't cocky as she would expect him to smile because she was startled by the storm again. Instead it was warm, one of his eyebrows cocked and eyes shining with amusement and interest at her.

He was looking at her the way one would look at an adorable puppy, and instead of being angry because she was definitely _not adorable_ she could feel as her whole body went into frenzy because Oliver had smiled at her again.

She was going crazy.

Totally and ridiculously crazy.

Felicity cleared her throat loudly and the corners of his lips only stretched further, and she knew her face had to be as red as a beet. It certainly felt hotter than before and she just knew he had to see it, and even if he didn't know the reason behind it he was enjoying her being flustered like that.

"So..." she mused, trying not to sound awkward because she had to realize _exactly_ in this moment how close they were sitting beside each other. Shoulders touching, his bent leg brushing against her right knee, faces invading each other's personal spaces...

 _Ugh_ , she had to get a grip on herself. Seriously.

Felicity swallowed hard and then said the first thing that came to her mind, "From what you've told me so far, I think it's strange that we have so many things in common."

Oliver tilted his head in question at her and her mouth was already opening to elaborate on her stupid choice of topic, because seriously, summarizing something they were talking about five minutes ago totally didn't look like she wanted to hide something.

"Problematic childhood, stranded on a hellish Island, held captive and tortured by Fyers, teaming up with other Island's prisoners to stop Fyers from killing innocent people, sucking at dealing with any real weapon." She ticked them off on her fingers slowly, her hand outstretched between their bodies so he could see her point. "Let's not forget about this unhealthy love for mint chip ice-cream."

Her voice was teasing when she said the last one and Oliver chuckled at her argument.

"I haven't gone to MIT and I'm two years older than you," he pointed out, trying to look serious, but his eyes were crinkled in the corners and she knew he was enjoying her unsuccessful effort to distract him.

"Details, details," she teased him and he smirked at that.

He was quiet for a second, clearly thinking about something and then he turned his body further towards her, so now he was facing her fully. Suddenly she was strangely aware of herself, knowing that her hair had to look like a tangled nest tied up in a ponytail she'd put her hair in before she had another throwing practice with Slade. She had Oliver's full attention and she felt like she'd been put on a pedestal where he could watch and assess her however long he wanted. And she had to look like a mess.

But Oliver seemed to not notice any of that as he sent her another smile and started talking. "Earlier you told me that before the Island you were way more awkward and that you babbled a lot. That you couldn't exactly control what you were saying."

She nodded, not sure where he was going with it. The glint of excitement that appeared in his eyes made her go still, waiting for his next words.

The smirk on his face was blinding when he finally decided to take pity on her. "So tell me, what was the worst innuendo you have ever said to anyone?"

"Yeah, no," Felicity shut him down quickly, embarrassed as all the insinuations she'd ever said came to her mind all at once. "I'm not telling you that one."

"Oh, come on!" he exclaimed, clearly not happy that she was spoiling his fun. "It can't be that bad." His voice was challenging as he kept staring at her, his gaze intense, surely because he wanted to break her.

Felicity held his gaze stubbornly, both of them not wanting to break first, taking this completely serious. When Oliver narrowed his eyes like he thought it would intimidate her, and somehow his blue eyes became even more captivating and irresistible, Felicity felt as her resolve was starting to crack and the things she was trying not to think about - like reaching up and smoothing his furrowed brow with her thumb - banged on the steel doors she tried to hide her heart behind.

"Uh, fine!" she huffed, frustrated, knowing that if he kept staring at her like that for a second longer she would so something she would certainly regret later. The easiest and safest way out of this was to let him win.

Oliver grinned at her victoriously and she couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes at him.

She pointed a finger at his face and he looked down at it, still grinning like a fool. "But don't you dare laugh at me!" she threatened.

Oliver looked at her as innocently as he could with this stupid grin and this stupidly handsome face of his. His hands come up, showing her he would behave, but the glint of mischief hidden in his eyes told her to expect something entirely else.

Who would have thought that he could be so childish. Who would have thought that _she_ could act like that as well.

"Okay, let's see..." Felicity sighed as she leaned her head against the wall behind her, looking up and trying to pick one memorable encounter from the long list of the ones that were equally embarrassing. "Hmm... If I remember correctly, the worst thing I've ever said to anyone happened at the beginning of my first semester at MIT."

She couldn't believe she was actually telling him this. Her face was growing hotter with each second as she remembered every single detail of that encounter, and she could already imagine Oliver's reaction when he would hear the rest of it.

She shot him a quick glance, hoping that maybe he wasn't listening at all, but the way he was focused on her, eager to hear more and clearly noticing how reluctant she was to share, made all her hopes evaporate into thin air in a matter of seconds.

Felicity sighed, resigned. Deciding to just bite the bullet she told him the rest, wanting to get this over with already. "I walked up to my Cyber Security professor and I literally asked him if he had some time _to take me in his office_." She bit on her lip, stalling, knowing that the worst was yet to come. "Maybe he would have realized I meant something entirely else if I hadn't taken off my jacket then, making it look like I was actually offering myself this way."

She finished, still remembering the deer in the headlights look on her professor's face. "God, I was so mortified," she breathed out, shaking her head. She could feel herself blushing even more, but at the same time she felt strangely amused by her own faux pass.

From all the things she could have said to her professor it had to be something stupidly inappropriate like that.

Felicity snorted as she smiled slightly and then shook her head at her _very_ damaged brain-to-mouth filter. Or the complete lack of it.

Oliver was oddly quiet beside her. Only the sound of the storm and Slade's voice explaining something to Shado heard in the night. She didn't have to see his face to know what he was thinking or how he was trying to stop himself from laughing, but she did anyway. She looked to the side slowly, her eyes taking him in and his reaction didn't disappoint her.

His face was serious and his lips were tightly pressed together, doing this strange thing where the corners of them were twitching like he was doing everything to keep himself from smiling. His eyes were filled with mirth, crinkled in the corners and there was this warmth in them, too. The same warmth she'd seen yesterday, but this time there was something more to it, something more important.

She quirked an eyebrow at him, not impressed and she waited for him to finally break. The pointing look she sent him was to remind him that he'd agreed he wouldn't laugh, but she could already feel her own amusement building up - because of the look on his face and how much it took him to actually make it this far - only waiting to break the surface.

And then he finally broke, not able to keep his face straight anymore.

His lips stretched into a blinding smile she hadn't had the pleasure to see yet, and she would totally swoon if she wasn't distracted by the way his eyes darkened and the tiny spark she liked so much was present in his gaze again.

A chuckle escaped past his lips, the deep sound of it shooting straight through her body, doing things with her that shouldn't be possible with hearing just his laugh. And he continued to chuckle lightly like it was the best laugh he had in a while and she couldn't stop herself from slapping him lightly in his chest, feeding her wounded pride and totally _not_ thinking about the hard muscles that collided with the palm of her hand.

He nudged her shoulder with his own and she pursed her lips, sending him a glare as she tried to pretend to be offended by his behavior, but the amusement dancing in her eyes because of seeing him so open and free with what he was feeling, showed him she wasn't being serious at all.

His chuckles died by then slowly and he grinned at her boyishly instead, causing something warm to shift in her belly and this time she couldn't hold the smile that wanted to break out on her face earlier.

This felt good. _Different_.

Just smiling at one another in this completely ridiculous way, in a crashed cargo plane, during a heavy storm in Purgatory where they had never been this carefree before. Her smile became more sure as she enjoyed the feeling while it lasted, and they continued living in the bubble they'd created in the chaos of fighting, building strategy and just trying to breathe, to be themselves.

Oliver leaned closer, tapping her shoulder with his forefinger and her eyes followed the movement like hypnotized.

"You, Felicity Smoak, are something else," he said on a chuckle, locking gazes with her.

Breath caught in her throat at the deeper meaning of his words she caught in his voice, despite his obvious try to mask it with his laugh. The amusement faded away slightly, leaving this strange tension surrounding them as his eyes traced her face slowly. The blood was humming in her veins and her heart was jumping inside her chest wildly, feeling oddly excited all of a sudden.

Oliver looked uncertain like maybe he felt that he'd made the same mistake as the day before saying too much. Pushing her too far, too fast. And where yesterday she'd been too shocked and scared to admit anything, tonight she was ready to at least acknowledge it. Acknowledge that Oliver liked her and she liked him as well.

But it didn't mean she would step out of her denial land. It didn't mean she would face whatever was changing between them.

She wasn't there yet and tempting fate was never something she dared to do.

Deciding to let the moment pass and ignoring the feeling that she just wasted some kind of an opportunity she might not have again, she smiled gently at him, pushing aside the giddiness she felt all over her body.

The shadows of uncertainty disappeared from Oliver's eyes and he relaxed again, smiling back at her and then he ducked his head as he looked away, letting the moment break as well.

Felicity watched him for a second, her eyes lingering on him as she couldn't help but wonder why was he trying to pursue the topic so much. Why was he so hell bent on proving that she liked him too, that she felt this bond that started forming between them ever since the first day they'd met and now, with every passing day, it only grew stronger.

She was curious and she would like to satisfy the need to know his reasons very much, but at the same time she knew it was impossible unless she asked him.

Which she didn't, choosing to ignore the need yet again, like the coward she was when it came to that.

Her eyes skated away from him, across the plane and the sound of the outside world met her ears again, reminding her where she was. She sighed quietly, pulling the blanket tighter around herself, the hint of a smile still present on her face. It fell though, when her eyes found Slade watching them curiously, and if his quirked eyebrow with the all knowing smirk that was starting to get on her nerves were any indication he was doing that for some time now.

She raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him to say something or make another face at her, but he just shifted his eyes to Oliver for a second and then met her eyes again, his words from earlier that day ringing in her ears. She kept his gaze stubbornly, not caring what he thought about this.

This wasn't about him. None of it. It was enough she had to actually talk about this with him earlier and listen to his arguments about what could work and what couldn't. In the end none of it mattered. Not when she was the one confused and unsure here. Not when she still couldn't figure out herself let alone _this_ , whatever it was.

So Felicity ignored Slade's pointing look once again this day, not feeling guilty about it even a little. She would know what to do _and_ feel when the time was right.

And when was that? She had no idea. But secretly she hoped it would happen sooner rather than later, because if with just one look Oliver could turn her into a puddle of goo she didn't even want to think what would happen if their bond grew even stronger.

* * *

_**END OF FLASHBACK** _

* * *

Felicity had been thinking about her friends a lot in the past few weeks.

About Oliver.

At the beginning, when she'd realized what was going on, it was easy to forget that she wasn't alone when the missile had hit the camp. She'd been so lost in the fear and darkness, in the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and pain her heart and body was going through, that she didn't realize she had no idea what had happened to Slade, Shado and Oliver.

When the realization of her stupidity fell on her hard, filling her numb body with horrifying dread and shame, she fell apart again, crying until there was nothing left in her to cry about.

At least in that moment.

It was funny how in one moment she could be so self-absorbed that she forgot about people she cared about the most.

About Shado whom she'd promised to protect, to take her from this Island and bring her back home, where she belonged.

About Slade who had been there for her when she would have never expected for him to help her. Who had taught her a lot and showed her it was okay to let her guard down, to hope for more than she ever dared to while she'd been on Lian You.

About Oliver, her stranger who had changed so much for her. Who had became more than she ever dared to hope for. Her rock. Her guidance. The person she could rely on.

For so long she'd wanted to just help them survive in this place, help them find a way to escape from this hell even if it meant sacrificing herself, and the first moment her life turned upside down she'd forgot all about it. She couldn't believe how something that was her priority for so long could be wiped out from her brain just like that, because she was trapped and alone in the darkness.

It was ridiculous, something that should have never happened.

But it did.

And what kind of a friend did that make her? What kind of _a person_?

She'd never felt more ashamed and helpless than when she'd realized all of that.

After that day she'd thought about them every spare second she had, filling the emptiness she felt in her heart with 'what ifs', with numerous scenarios of what could have happened to them.

Did all of them make it from the explosion? Were they alright? Were they hurt? If so, how badly? Did they make it back to the plane where they could be safe?

Those were the first questions that flooded her mind and the worst part about them was that she couldn't answer any of them.

When her brain wasn't on a frenzy because of being isolated for so long, she would occupy her time with scenarios of what they could be doing right now.

Usually she ended up with the same picture of Slade sharpening his machetes and sharing whatever was on his mind this time, not caring if his sarcastic way of pointing out things hurt anyone or not. Shado would just shake her head at him, showing him his place without the need to say anything and Oliver would watch them exasperated, because it was just another of many days where they were acting this way.

Other times she would see them training outside, Shado swiftly kicking Slade's ass the way she always did. Or Oliver giving everything he had to knock Slade down for once, the muscles straining under his glistening with sweat skin.

There were days she hoped that somehow they had found a way to get off the Island. With the explosion in Fyers' camp she suspected that not many of his people survived it - if any. She didn't even try to hide the thought that she hoped Fyers didn't make it and that he suffered a lot. It was the least he deserved after everything he had done.

She hoped that Shado was back in Hong Kong, building her life from the ashes, seeking for happiness she couldn't have for so long. She hoped she was safe and well, away from any danger that could touch her even a little bit.

She hoped that Slade got to see his son again, to make amends with his past, forget about everything he'd had to do to survive and that he could find his peace - whatever that would be.

And Oliver...

She hoped that Oliver had had a chance to see his loved ones again. She hoped he finally realized what exactly he wanted in his life. She hoped he could find himself, that he could understand he wasn't a bad man. That he had a chance to right his wrongs and be the person she always believed he could be.

She just hoped they were alive and safe, far away from Lian Yu.

Happy.

And then the dark thoughts would start clouding her mind, pressing on her from the inside out, suffocating her in the painful realization of what that could mean for her.

If any of it was true she was all alone on the Island now, trapped in a cave where the only source of comfort that she could live through this without starving to death was the man that took her here in the first place.

And she would slowly sink in despair, feeling abandoned more than ever, the thoughts horrifying and terribly scaring, because she didn't want to believe they would leave her here alone. She didn't want to believe they weren't out there, looking for her every day and night like she would do if one of them was in her place. She didn't want to believe they would leave her just like that.

But what if they did?

What if they thought that she was dead? That she had died in the explosion? What if they just moved on, not stopping once to even mutter her name late at night when the nightmares took over them?

What if she had nothing to hope for anymore? Or worse, what if all of them were dead and she was here crying because she thought they had forgot all about her?

 _What if_ was a dangerous game her mind liked to play in, and with every passing day she got to carve on the stone that told her how many days had passed, the game only made everything a lot more difficult.

She felt like she was going crazy and it wasn't just because of the self-blame she felt deep inside her. It was the darkness, too, the never-ending wonder if something would finally get to her at night. The fear of starving to death as she contemplated if she should eat the last piece of the raw fish the mercenary brought her. The high alert all her senses had to be on all the time, especially when the man was watching her every move like he was just waiting for an excuse to hurt her. The isolation and the constant humming of the water, the sound of trees moving on the wind in the middle of the night, the wailing of animals outside.

It all blended together and some days it was just too much to handle. Too much to get through and she was starting to fear that one day she would just wake up and something would snap inside her, and all of this would end in only one way there was possible.

Every night before she fell asleep, she hoped with everything she had that this 'one day' would not come in the morning.

* * *

_**FLASHBACK** _

* * *

The knife flew past the tree trunk, not even close to grazing the side of its bark.

"Oh, come on!" Felicity whined, scrunching her nose as she threw her hand to the side, pointing at the tree that just wouldn't cooperate with her. Stupid tree. "Why can't I just get this right? I'm doing everything the same as before! Take position, breathe and throw. I'm thinking about it all the time!"

"That's the problem," Slade said on a sigh and she looked at him, annoyance buzzing inside her body.

He was watching her with a very bored expression on his face and she knew that after half an hour of watching her constantly failing at hitting that damn tree and listening to her complain about it he had to be pretty annoyed too.

"You're thinking when you shouldn't," he said as he played with one of the knives in his hand. "You take the knife and you throw it. Nothing more, nothing less - you won't have time for anything else."

"Right," Felicity answered him skeptically, turning back to the tree.

She breathed out, rolling her shoulders, trying to get rid of the tension that followed her everywhere since this morning, but it looked like she couldn't get rid of it no matter how much she tried. She closed her eyes for a second and then shook her head, feeling frustrated.

She sighed and knowing that her brain was too stubborn to actually let her practice in peace she took another knife in hand.

She threw it.

The slim handle of the knife hit the side of the tree, making it bounce off of it and sending it sidewise to the ground.

She huffed, feeling as the frustration that clung to her grew stronger, pushing her one step closer to exploding and letting all of the feelings she kept inside her outside, where she wouldn't be able to ignore them any longer.

She took a deep breath to calm herself and she looked at Slade again. "It's not working."

He just lifted an eyebrow at her and the unimpressed _you don't say_ look on his face only made her more angry.

In the next second the knife he had been playing with flung past her face, making her blink at the sudden movement, and it embedded perfectly in the center of the target.

At her stunned expression Slade smirked smugly and before she managed to shake herself out of the surprise his action put her into to say that not everyone could be a pro like he was, he already pushed away from the tree trunk he was leaning against, stepping closer to her as he started talking.

"In order for this to work, sweetheart, you need to know what you're doing," he said gruffly as he stopped beside her and put his hands on her shoulders, turning her so she was facing the target. "You need to believe in yourself and you need to keep your head clear."

She took in a deep breath again, staring at the bullseye and listened to his deep voice, hoping that maybe this time she would finally do it right.

"Your hand is in control," he said, grabbing her right hand and lifting it up. She let him and she accepted the knife he pressed to her palm next. "Not your head." He tapped the side of his head to emphasize his words. "Not your eyes. Just your hand." He squeezed her fingers into a tight fist. "You take the knife and it does the rest, you just need to feel it."

She let his words wash over her, thinking if it was really that easy. If she could just shut her mind out for a second and feel the moment, feel the knife in her hand as it guided it to take a clear shot.

Slade stepped away from her, keeping his eyes trained on her in interest, but she paid him no mind, her eyes set on the target, her hand squeezing the knife. She moved her hand and she flung the knife, watching as it cut the air, heading for the tree. The moment she was perfectly certain that it would hit the center like Slade's had done, it embedded in the side of it, making her excitement die in an instant.

Her shoulders dropped and she sighed in resignation. "Easier said than done."

"Okay, what's going on with you today?" Slade asked in a strangely accusatory tone.

"Nothing," she said quickly, too quickly, as she looked to the side, trying to keep her face straight.

"Your head is not in the game, you can barely focus on what you're doing. You're practically fuming." His face was serious now, brows furrowed as he tried to think of a reason for her to act this way. "So what's the matter?" he pressed, the tone of his voice firm, showing her he wouldn't leave her alone until she told him.

And she didn't want to tell him. She didn't want to tell anyone.

It was so stupid and she felt angry that it could affect her that much. She could barely focus without thinking about it. About _him_.

With the talk she had with Oliver the day before, with what he'd said, something changed. Something opened up inside her and now she couldn't do anything to stop it from showing her things, thoughts and feeling she would have never thought about before.

It just wouldn't let go no matter what. It wouldn't leave her alone.

"Is this about Oliver?" Slade asked suddenly, his voice sure like he already knew everything he needed to know.

Her eyes snapped to his so fast at his words that he only nodded, the confirmation that he was right clear, even if she didn't give him any. The look of understanding on his face was honest as he sighed a bit tiredly, like he couldn't deal with their problems any longer.

"I thought you two talked things through."

"We did," she said, nodding.

Because they talked things through. They understood each other's reasoning now, knew more things about themselves. And if that pushed them closer to one another, showing them a beginning of - hopefully - a beautiful friendship and partnership, it also opened the door to the unknown because of course she had to feel some sort of attraction to the first man that wasn't trying to kill her on this Island.

She was crazy. Even more than before.

Slade watched her, expectation written all over his face like he wanted her to tell him what was her reason to be upset then.

"It's complicated," was all she said because, nope. She was not talking about this with him.

"Of course it is."

He shook his head at her, annoyance gracing his features once again. He ducked his head, rubbing his forehead with the fingers of his right hand and he closed his eyes for a second. He let out a huge sigh before he leaned against the tree trunk again and looked at her.

"Look, it doesn't matter what happened between you two," he paused for a second. "Again," he added, nodding to himself with his mouth pursed and she narrowed her eyes at that. "You wanna know what I think?"

"Something tells me you gonna share anyway," she said dryly.

He glared at her and she rolled her eyes because she really didn't need to deal with his attitude today.

"I think you should seize the day." She sent him a questioning look, a bit surprised at where he was going with it. "Live in the moment," he clarified quickly and then shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck like he felt uncomfortable and awkward talking about this. But he didn't stop, just took in a deep breath and continued, his voice quiet and serious. "Look, the life we're living now is not easy. It's never going to be easy. You never know when something bad is going to happen again. So you should take the time you have and make the best of it, because tomorrow you may not get another chance."

She watched him in silence, contemplating his words and feeling a bit taken aback by his bluntness and deep words.

But she had to admit that Slade was right.

Their lives on the Island were a complicated mess of dangerous encounters, painful memories and searching for something that would guarantee their safety. All they had was living in the moment.

But was there a place for something calm and quiet in those moments? Something that could be more and mean everything without turning into a disaster when it was over?

"Think about it, sweetheart," Slade said slowly, bringing her attention back to him. He turned, taking another knife in hand from the tree beside him and he moved towards her. "Just don't overthink yourself." His mouth twitched a little, showing a bit of amusement because he knew she would do that anyway. He handed her the knife and she took it slowly as he looked towards the target again. "Not everything is as complicated as you're trying to make it to be."

* * *

**_END OF FLASHBACK_ **

* * *

Being trapped in this cave against her will had given her a lot of time to think, and as her mind was flooding with different images of Oliver, their conversations and everything that concerned the two of them, she knew that she'd overthought everything.

It wouldn't be the first time, really. If Slade was here he would smirk triumphantly at her for how right he was once again.

The easiness she had shut down any inappropriate thoughts about Oliver should be the first clue that it didn't really work, but as usual she preferred to pretend that it did when in fact her brain managed to play her better than anyone else before.

The door she had apparently locked very tightly to all the possibilities was in fact open ajar, waiting for an opportunity to pull the rug from under her feet.

What she had with Oliver was something unexpected and that's why it scared her so much. All those feeling and thoughts were never so strong, so addictive. Comforting. And now as she knew what it felt like to be so in tune with another person she couldn't just forget about it. She couldn't make it stop.

Every excuse she'd made before, every logical reason to let it go, wasn't enough anymore because she liked Oliver - it was simple as that. She liked him more than she cared to admit. To him or to herself.

And she missed him. She missed him _so_ much.

She missed his smile - the gentle one when he was tired, the amused one when she managed to make a fool of herself again, the half-smile that was directed only at her. She missed his laugh, especially the quiet one, like he didn't want to show that he was happy in that moment. She missed his clear blue eyes and the way he was looking at her, like he had never seen anything quite like her. She missed his touch, the light graze of his fingers, the protective grip on her arms, the gentle assurance that it would be okay.

She missed all of him.

But she was here and he... he just wasn't.

As far as she knew he could be dead and that thought only made everything much worse.

She should have just stop listening to her head, to the little voice that always kept her fears at bay, showing her only the worst things that could happen if she let someone in like that. She should have just take the leap like any other times she'd done in everything regarding Oliver. But she didn't. She was too scared and not ready. And now it was too late.

On the twentieth day of staring miserably into the darkness, the dread realization fell upon her that maybe it was time for her to admit to herself that she'd made the biggest mistake of her life and she'd missed a chance at finding the missing piece that was stopping her from being truly happy.

* * *

 **A/N:** So I'm going to start right away with explaining because I'm sure you have a lot of questions and you probably want to kill me.

What is happening here, the reason why I decided to put Felicity through something like that, something even more difficult that anything she's been through so far, has a big purpose in this story. Remember when at the beginning, in chapter one, Felicity was at the lowest point in her life? When she didn't have a purpose, when all she did was follow everything Fyers ordered her to do and she was okay with it because she had been broken? And then she met Oliver and just like that her life turned upside down because she decided to help a stranger who happened to be in the same situation she had been in few months earlier? She found a purpose again, something to hold on to, a reason to fight.

But did you ever stopped to think that all this fighting, all this pulling through the difficult times was never for her? That she did all of this to help Oliver, to keep Shado safe, to save innocent people Fyers wanted to kill. All she ever done was for someone else, she literally started fighting for what's right again just because she wanted to help Oliver and keep her promise about Shado.

I was leaving you bread crumbs in previous chapters, a lot of them actually. Many times Felicity said that she's fighting for someone else - never for herself. Many times she emphasized that she doesn't really believe that she will make it off the Island - she believed her friends would do that, but she always thought she wouldn't have a chance like that, that she would die in there. Even Shado noticed that in chapter five, where she corrected Felicity and said "You're going to get **_us_** out of here," after Felicity told her that she will do whatever it takes to get her - just her - out of there.

All this time what was driving her to fight, to hope, was a need to help others. A need to save everyone but herself. She was always selfless even when she was pulling away from Oliver when he tried to turn their flirting into something more serious. She never stopped to think what would happen if she managed to accomplish what she wanted **_AND_** survive all of that. Where would that leave her, someone who doesn't have other purpose than to save her friends? Well, I think she would be really broken, she would be empty and confused. Because what is living if you're not doing it for yourself? If you live only because you want to keep everyone you care about away from danger? If you think it's the only reason you are still alive? What is living if you don't care about what will happen to you, if you live for everyone but yourself?

And that's where this new and very difficult chapter in her life is coming into this story.

As you can already see this is something that is messing with her head more than any torture Fyers had put her thorugh. Isolation, being hungry, being trapped in a cave and almost all the time in the darkness, the unknown of what will happen if she does something wrong. You can imagine what would be happening with you if you were in her place.

This experiance has a purpose, it will bring Felicity to her lowest point, it will break her like nothing else before and only then she will be able to decide what happens now. I need her to decide that she wants to live because she wants to do it for **_herself_** , because she needs that. Not because there are still people who she has to help, not because someone needs her. She needs to realize that she just simply wants to survieve, to be alive because there's more and it's waiting for her to finally see that. She needs to break and she needs to get up from that on _**her own**_. To take action because that's what _**she**_ wants, not because it's something she should do or something that is expected of her.

Could I do that in another way? Sure. But why search for something that would probably make less sense than what came to me the moment I realized I need this to happen and that it actually makes sense with the story?

I am really sorry for this, I am. I know it's difficult and hard to read, it's hard to see Felicity going through something like that. This chapter was just the beginning of all that will happen in chapter eleven. And that chapter will be the hardest ever in this story. It's _**the**_ chapter. After that it all gets better and we'll finally be on the path to the things all of us want to see. So please, hang in there and _**TRUST ME**_. You will decide if it was needed and if it was good when you see the end of it, in chapter eleven, twelve and so on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope it wasn't that bad and that it was worth to wait this long. Don't forget to drop me a line and tell me what you think about this chapter, about the flashbacks, please. Your reviews are really appreciated. Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoyed this chapter - difficult or not.
> 
> Have a great the rest of the weekend!
> 
> Find me on twitter: @angelica_fit or on tumblr: http://seetheskyaboveus.tumblr.com/


End file.
